Not that I had to tell you.

You knew. You watched.

It’s difficult to blog about the audition shows, because there are so many good, bad and ugly to report on. Last night, it was 2 full hours of auditions, backstories, interviews etc. It’s hard to remember stand outs or major flops at this stage in the game.

I can say, that people SEEM to be ‘wising up’ about what kind of talent level the judges will applaude. It’s not like there are people out there STILL who havent seen this show and know that only the best go through. I also think for awhile, there were people who really felt this was a Pop competition for Pop singers with a very specific vocal style. If you werent Alicia, Whitney or Timberlake – you had no business even trying out.

But slowly, contestants started breaking down some barriers… and now, the talent is starting to seep through and show up in the most unexpected places.

I love seeing the cream of the crop, so confient in their abilities, stand infront of 3 super star judges and blow them right out of their seats. I love a surprise… someone who has an unassuming exterior, breaking down the facade. And of course, I love me some delusional trainwrecks. Who doesnt?

So American Idol is back… and I for one couldnt be happer to welcome it’s return.

Look! There’s a trolley! Look there’s Chinatown! Look theres a big bridge!

(brought to you by, the city of San Francisco and travelsanfranciso.com )

So, the girls were taken from Sonoma Valley to San Francisco – Ben’s REAL home town. Not to be confused with his hometown in Sonoma (?!?!)

The first one on one date was climbing ‘the bridge’. Every season, the bachelor(ette)s ‘plan’ a date that will test ‘trust’ and ‘endurance’. A huge metaphor for love. In every instance, the bachelor(ette) picks the contestant with the “intense fear of heights” (unwittingly) and proves that “together, we can survive the ups and downs of a scary journey called love”.

it’s formulaic…it’s cheeseball… it’s sewn into the script of this show pretty much every week 3. Deal.

The girl/guy (contestant) always gets the rose.

I can tell you right now, if I was forced to face my greatest fear on a date…(which would be going to a spider petting zoo FYI) I wouldnt see that as a bonding experience. I would be huddled rocking back and forth in fetal position yelling scathing incoherent obscenities at the guy who CHOSE this scenario. A peck on the cheek and a pat on the behind wouldnt ‘make it all better’.

I digress…

Whether she faked her fear of heights, or was easily comforted – girl got the rose.

The group date was probably the most ridiculous date I’ve ever seen on this show. Seriously. Ben takes the girls to a fake snow hill in the middle of San Fran. They strip down to their skivvies, put on skiis and try to impress Ben with their ‘skills’. This is the kind of event I see Hugh Hefner throwing in his backyard…or grand staircase. The worst part about this date was the lead up… they all get into the newest Honda model and check out the features! OH look, it has a wallpaper feature! The only thing missing was the MSRP. It was almost as shameless as the American Idol Ford commercials.
Not only that, Ben proceeds to tell us how everytime he walks these streets he thinks to himself “I wonder if  could ski on these hills?”. Right.

In the meantime, Brittany (one of the blondes…) decides that this isnt the show for her, so she packs her bags and leaves. Leaving a gaping hole to fill… more on that later.

So Ben’s second one on one is with Lindzi (the one with the horse). They take a private trolley ride around the city, where Ben shows her ‘the sights’ of a place she could potentially be moving to in the future. Dont you hate the new line they have made maditory for all contestants to say? “I can definitely see myself living here”. It’s almost as bad as ” (blank) is the perfect place to fall in love”. ALmost.

They have dinner, they stop into a piano store to make music… She gets a rose.

Here comes the much discussed ‘twist’. So… here’s how it is explained to us: the funeral directorShawntel  from Brad’s season, saw Ben on the show and fell in love. There is also mention of conversations they have had in the past… now she’s coming to crash the party to see if those feelings were real, and stop him from going any further on his quest for love. 

I dont think this makes her any less deserving of his time than any other girl in the house. They all made a HUGE stink about how he has built new relationships here and that she doesnt even know him. Tell me, how many cumulative words has any of the girls said to him one on one this season? Shawntel seems to allude to a prior history. So, that’s not really the issue.

The issue is, another girl walks in… looking smokin’ hot, and Ben gets flustered when he sees her. I think what followed was an embarassing demonstration of how cruel the female species can be. Shawntel takes a lot of heat, withstands verbal abuse and unfair defamation of her character. If this was planned and orchestrated by the producers (and who are we kidding…) I say shame on them for making this girl look like a jazabel and referred to as ’Brad’s trash’. Shame.

So now the question is, will Ben keep her around?

At the Rose Ceremony: All the usual suspects make it through. Dramatic pause as Ben holds the final rose, and 3 girls (including Shawntel) remain. One girl faints from the emotional overload. Doesnt matter, she still didnt get a rose. Neither of them did… Erica, Jaclyn and Shawntel go home.

Here are my Pre-Awards, Red Carpet Awards…

Best use of double sided tape: charlize theron

Best ‘ keep your eyes up’ or risk looking like a creepy tongue wagger : sophia vargara

what are you doing here…. heidi klum

Biggest style of the night? mermaid dresses and head bangs  (remember those?)

Best walking wax figures: Brangelina

Biggest Debbie Downer moment: The “war and rape” bomb Angelina drops on Ryan Seacrest.

Colour fad of the night: midnight blue/purple

Biggest waste of a bangin’ body: Mila Kunitz wearing blah blah black.

Cups runneth over… Reese Witherspoon. I will say no more.

Regretting that gaudy tattoo and dye job: Kelly Osbourne (surprised?)

Best use of ‘edgy gloves’ to hide age veins… Madonna

‘I left my best accessory’ at home… Jessica Biel (you know what I mean).

Best Baby weight rebound: Jessica Alba… ugh, pass the depression food.

Most effortless, dress I might actually wear… Claire Danes.

aaaand we’re going in….curtains up, turn the channel from E! to NBC…

——————-

First Kardashian joke of the night. Stars are SO awkward in these situations. They hate to laugh at ‘their own’.

With so many SNL and ex Snl-ers in the audience, tough crowd for Ricky.

It’s funny, they all know its coming, they all know what to expect, they’re all actors… but everyone has trouble gracefully reacting to Ricky. Amazing.

However, when in doubt, bring out the man of mystery himself… Johnny Depp.  He ‘brings down the house’ not in the way you might think, introducing the first best picture nominee Hugo.  Good thing Johnny’s alreayd a mega star… his personality would be a PR nightmare.

First award of the night, Best Supporting Actor (movie): Christopher Plummer
…the only time tonight he’ll have something other than a drink in his hands.

Ashton Kutcher is here…boo hiss…right?

Best Actress TV comedy: Laura Dern
and she’s wearing a sequinned Mr Rodgers cardigan… I’m jealous, it’s stunning…suddenly my Roots sweats arent as hot as I thought they were.

Best Mini Series: Downton Abbey
… obviously Brits, they stick out like pale un-Hollywood thumbs beside Rob Lowe.

Best Actress Mini Series: Kate Winslet
The almost perennial winner… she is like Meryl Streep, except when she’s nominated, she always wins.

Frida Pinto, easily the most beautiful woman in the room, presents the next nominated film, Midnight in Paris.

——————

Jake Gyllenhall emerges, and reminds us all of his beautiful blue eyes… oh, and presents another nominated film My Week with Marilyn.

Drama TV series (Actor): Kelsey Grammer
My trashy gossip sense are tingling. His wife is seriously reconsidering some of those nasty things she said about him this year. She made her decision, she couldve been sitting at the table “eating” chicken and accepting gratitude for his career.

TV Series Drama: Homeland
everyone in the room claps like they’ve seen the show…more than half of them haven’t, guaranteed.

——————

For a music category, the producers get Adam Levine from Maroon 5 to present…makes sense.

Best Original SCore: The Artist
…and they stick the winner in the furthest corner away from the stage and Angelina Jolie as possible.

Best Original Song: Masterpiece (Madonna)
…you think I’m joking. And my wish was granted… they cut to Elton John during her underwhelming, falsely humble speech, He has the same look on his face as I do.

—————

Best Actor Mini Series: Idris Elba
…thanking ‘the fans’ is SO MTV Awards or Peoples Choice. The Globes is ALL about the HFP and your agent.

Brad Pitt rocks a bowtie, and presents his buddy George’s vehicle The Ides of March.

A Mismatch made in Hollywood heaven, Seth Rogen and Kate Beckinsale

Best Actress Comedy: Michelle Williams
…such a ‘funny’ film. But Michelle is lovely, etherial…a class act. Would’ve like to have seen a Kristen Wiig speech not gonna lie.

——————-

Ricky says it like it is…George Clooney hams it up and reciprocates the favour for his buddy Brad by presenting Moneyball.

Two pretty people present…

Best Animated Film: The Adventures of Tin Tin
What?! But it isn’t a Pixar! Oh… Steven Spielberg. Gotcha.

———————

Ewen McGregor looks dapper, and presents the nominated 50/50.

Clive Own and Nicole Kidman… who looks better than she has on years. Seriously. No joke.

Best Screenplay: Midnight in Paris
…the first no-show.

The BEST presentation … ever? Thanks for the diddly Felicity and William.

Best Supporting Actress TV series: Jessica Lang 
…Yep, the screamer from King Kong.

————-

Madonna, the obvious choice to present the Foreign film category…

Foreign Language Film: A Separation
…how many of us gossip mongers wanted Angelina to accept an Award from Madonna?

Best Actress Tv SEries Drama: Claire Danes
…rivals only Kate Winslet in her ability to charm the pants off HFP every year, or so it seems.

——————-

Still thrills me to watch a short snippet of Bridesmaids…at the Golden Globes.

And out comes two fabulously funny women (kind of a theme tonight…) Tina fey and Jane Lynch to present…

Best Actor TV Series Comedy: Matt Leblanc
…who thought HE’D be the most critically accepted ‘Friend’?!

Sexiest Man Bradley Cooper…needs to rethink his facial hair…and presents:

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer (The Help)
…enough of the cast was nominated, is this like a team edward vs team jacob thing?
‘Table 10′ looks like a fun bunch… in comparison to table 1 where Angelina is talking ‘war and rape’ all night long.

—————–

Sydney Poitier gets a big standing O (no Oprah’s not there) for ovation. a fitting choice to give Morgan Freeman a lifetime achievement award. He is the KING of the dramatic pause, no?

Helen Mirren, has oodles of charisma… this is a great year for Women at the Globes. She leads the audience into a standing O for Morgan Freeman to take the stage.

*sidenote… are we seeing less Ricky this year? He has been MIA for at least 3 commercial breaks…

——————

Robert Downey Jr (wakes me up) looks absolutely dashing, and presents the nominated film The Artist.

Angelina makes her husband smile by gracing the stage and presenting…

Best Director Film: Martin Scorsese
…this satisfies the entire audience who have all either worked with him, pretend to know him, or wish they could meet him.

finally, Ricky returns. He’s getting the same amount of screen time as George Clooney at this point.

Salma and Antonio…make me feel even worse about my life by how perfect they are…sigh. Oh and they present…

Best TV series Comedy: Modern Family
…the 30 Rock of the past 2 years. Watch as the stage fills up with cast members, and Sofia va-va-va-voom Vargara gets to be front and centre.

———————-

Michelle Pfieffer presents the nominee War Horse. Grab a tissue.

Jessica Biel, ironically wearing white…already. Lets hope her wedding dress isn’t as ill-fitted.

Best Actor Film: Jean DuJardin The Artist
…HFP showing a lot of love for the French tonight.

—————-

Best Actress, Drama: Meryl Streep
Best Actor: George Clooney

…Oh, the Oscars are gonna be goooood.

Best Film: The Artist

Get ready to be thanked for all your support and being a catalyst for the dreams of Red Carpet Walkers.

I couldnt be more proud of myself.

Let’s get this show started… take it away Kaley Cuoco.

If there was any question that this show is all about self promotion… the opening is The Cast of The Big Bang Theory   (brought to you by CBS)

When in doubt, hire Betty White as a ‘seat filler’ – she’s the biggest ‘get’ in Hollywood these days.

Kaley throws out the first ‘PCA’ show… is that what the kids are calling it these days?

AS IF you thought they’d stop at Betty White… of course, NPH is here. He’s everywhere. He’s anywhere. However, he may have just had the line of the night “I’m on a 12 step program, but i’m only on step 5….6, 7, 8!”

First Award: Movie Actress

Winner: Emma Stone

Somewhere Lindsey Lohan is curled in a ball weeping in a clothes hamper… that girl just stole her career.

Sharon Osbourne and Jesse Tyler Ferguson present, and dont we all love it when Stars feel entitled. Sigh…. Sharon is exhausting, even with her British accent.

Daytime TV Host: Ellen

ironically, Ellen is like the perfect mix of Jesse TF and Sharon Osbourne… am I right? The memo mustve gotten out… this show doesnt matter… no one has prepared a speech.

Who ‘ok’ed’ the role of ‘Backstage Correspondent’? This HAS to be the most annoying recent Award Show trend . Useless.

—————-

Oh look, it’s Miley’s BF presenting…

TV Drama Actress: Nina Dobrev

Try to calm down, remember who the ‘People’ were that voted for this girl… that would be the girls in your kids grade 7 class.

product placement time… not even trying to be subtle anymore, is that a step forward or backward?

Sigh, this is going to be a long night.

————————–

We better get through more than one award in this segment… or I’m going to be a bear tomorrow.

Two guys who are seriously D, or even F-List ‘gets’: Rob Schneider and Cheech

TV Comedy Actor: Neil Patrick Harris

Ok, I get why he showed up now. I wondered after he didn’t even get a chance to sing or dance. But I ask you… who watches his show? A topic for another day…

Oh look, it’s Vanessa Hudgens…. introducing one of the musical acts of the evening Demi Lovato. Yep, we get to sit through ‘musical acts’ , this show really has it all. It’s curious that NONE of the ex-disney performers became good singers after puberty hit.

and surprise surprise, she won an Award too. Handy.

——————–

Holy double sided tape Haley Kuoco.

As if this show wasn’t going to be long enough… we’ve got the absolutely insidious ‘bits’ between awards. It’s someone in Hollywood’s day job to come up with this stuff. Hate your life yet?

Remember when American Pie was a ‘thing’? The cast is back… I get the feeling, they wont be a big ‘thing’ this time around.

Comedic Movie Actor: Adam Sandler

Again, I can’t pretend to know why the ‘People’ continue to honour Adam Sandlers comedy. Who are these people? Do your kids think Adam Sandler is funny? I’m stumped…every year. Not only does he win every year, but he gets infinite amount of speech time where everyone else seems to get the early hook. This almost warrants a full investigation… jsut putting it out there, how is Adam Sandler connected to this show? Journalists, do your job!

One of the Glee kids and a dancer turned actor present

Star under 25 (yep, thats an official award… and there are 3 Harry Potter kids nominated):  Chloe Moretz

This is a cool chick… un-jaded, poised, she even says ‘bye’ as she leaves the stage. Love it.

——————–

More proof that this isnt a real Awards show…

Water for Elephants jsut won Best Drama.

The same people who saw the movie, voted for it. I shouldnt be surprised…

just like I shouldnt be surprised that Kim K won an award, Maroon 5 won best Rock group… it’s not surprising, but it’s enough to make me really ashamed to be watching/blogging this show.

I’m finished here.

I’ll post the list of winners tomorrow morning for all those hanging on the edge of their seats…

Think GLee stars, think Twilight Stars, Think any CBS star, Think vampire movies/tv shows, think people who are vaguely familiar and just happen to have new tv shows…. that’s what you’re gonna get.

I love live blogging from Awards shows (even if they are fake awards shows….) because they inspire instant conversation topics. We are voyeurs, we love to ‘watch’ without being ‘watched’. we love to criticize without being criticized… we love to be in pajamas while other suffer in high heels and spanx (or is that just me?).

So tonight I will be watching.

Yeah I know… this is not an important “Award Show”. You wont see The Brad and Angelinas, The Clooneys, The Streeps or even The Goslings in the audience. This is not The Oscars.

It’s shameless self promotion, it’s shameless ‘upcoming projects’ promotion, it’s a chance to fill an entire stadium filled with screaming Team Edward fans to kick off the ‘Award’ season. This is feeding (the already completely bloated) Egos.

also… I would just like to discuss the word ‘People’ in the title of this Award show. Who are… ‘People’? Are YOU ‘People’? I realized, probably last year or the year before… I am not ‘People’. Because ‘People’ are the ones who are thanked for their fanatical support, the ones who have apparently made it possible for an elite sub group of people to succeed, the ones who have made dreams come true, and the ones who vote for Transformers at ‘Movie of the Year’ , ‘Water for Elephants’ as Best Drama and vote for a winner in a category called ‘Favourite Celebreality Star’…

Who are THESE PEOPLE?

They are People in a very specific age group, that’s who.

I’m not offended, nor do I feel left out… these are not MY Award shows. Mine are coming… my nights of pure enjoyment watching billion dollar careers make their way across a red carpet aren’t far off.

Until then… let’s have some fun at tonight’s Peoples Choice Awards. First person to shout out to ‘Baby Blue’ … gets a remote thrown at them.

The crazies come out on week 2 and set up the whole season of drama.

Which is why, I was glued to my TV last night, to watch trainwreck after trainwreck start on their collision course.

I think I’ve said this before – Ben is not the Prize on this show. Nor is he really a necessary component. He may or may not find ‘love’, but he is certainly not the “Star” or the real storyline. He is the common thread, and at times, the referee… but not much else. Not to say I dont like Ben, he’s a charming guy with redeeming qualities and fun hair. He also happens to have a really cute sidekick/dog…which makes me like him even more. It’s just that is has become all about the girls and the drama between THEM that is keeping The Bachelor ‘must see’.

Here’s a nutshell recap of last night…

The girls are uprooted and sent packing to visit Ben in Sonoma California… incidentally where he lives and where his Winery operates. In upcoming seasons, will we see the girls following the Bachelor to HIS day job… you know, where he’s most comfortable and in his element? Seriously… blatant advertising.

Ben gets his first one-on-one date. He takes Kacie B (doncha hate the initials thing? I do…) on a walking tour of his town, Sonoma tourism 101. “Wouldnt you like to live here?” “I can totally see myself here”. Riveting stuff. Then they share a ’moment’ watching old family videos at the theatre… awkward date, watching Ben cry over his dead father. ouch.
Anyways, she gets the rose… she’s a nice take-home-to-mom type girl.

Group Date – Ben takes a ton of girls tot he ‘Town Square’ where they audition for parts in a childrens production of a Bachelor Fairytale. These girls should all be good at ‘acting’ – most are models, aspiring actresses or have fake jobs… remember, this show is ‘casted’.
The bigger drama occurred at the after party… obviously, drinks were flowing, bikinis were on, Hot tubs were present. Is it just me or did The Bachelor resurrect the swimming pool girl-on-shoulder wrestling game? Just hit me…

The girls all accuse Blakely of being a slut (among other things), and she fills that role very well. It might be an assigned role, but she seems to really excel at making people uncomfortable, inciting tears and paranoia, and batting her fake eyelashes at Ben shamelessly.

She gets the rose. Such a metaphor for life…am I right ladies?

The final one-on-one was with model Courtney. I think we all ahve a reason to hate on this girl… she’s a model. Liek a real, working model. The producers don’t have to do much to make her unlikable. However, I’m getting a real mix of emotions over this girl – her date with Ben was the best…by far. They took the dog, got in the car and had a picnic in the woods. Very comfortable, very easy… she didnt pose as a person who was comfortable, she just…was. There’s chemistry, but I dont think it hurts that she… is a model.

She gets a rose (surprise, surprise)

At the Rose ceremony… the Crazies implode.

Blakely runs crying in a corner behind luggage. NY Blogger crawls into bed and weeps. There are girls crying everywhere. Ben acts like a babysitter playing hide and seek with 7 yer olds… going room by room to console sobbing contestants. It was hysterical!

Easier just to report on who DIDNT get a rose, and it was the over emotional blogger from NY (girl had a rough night…) and another blonde.

If you stay long enough… you get a ‘role’ to fill. One can only applaude the girls who hit the high notes and add major drama to our monday nights!

It’s ironic… there is no grey in Greys Anatomy. It’s either really good, comelling, must see TV. Or it’s a bust with terrible storylines like ghost-love, hospital bickering,  or Meredith mellow drama.

More times than not, Greys Anatomy has the content, the storylines and the characters to raise their game. And I think it’s safe to say we are past some of the excruciating pitfalls of previous seasons. One thing Greys does better than any other show on TV is rebound with a bang. Season premieres, Season finales, Events, Post Super bowls… Greys delivers big time.

End of last season, we were left on a cliff (not literally) hanging (not literally) as two major storylines developed.

1. Henry, Teddys husband was secretly given to Yang as a surgery patient. He died on the table… we ended the episode as Owen told her who the patient was… gut wrenching stuff.

2. Meredith and Alex were sent on a mission to save a very fragile preemy – enroute, their ambulence smashed into an oncoming car, and the damage was fatal… 6 bodies brutally maimed strwen across the road, in a rainstorm, oncoming cars.

So we pick up where we left off – Meredith and Alex quickly triage, and realize it is an entire family ( 3 children, parents and a grandmother). Meredith manages to hail down an oncoming truck… and the patients are rushed to Seattle Grace.

In the meantime, Teddy still has not been told of her husbands death, as she is arm-deep, trying to repair a heart during surgery. It’s such a tricky procedure that she calls specifically for the talents of Yang to assist. Worst… situation…ever. Yang has to pretend the prior surgery went well, focus on the task at hand, and play along with the secret.

At the end of an exhausting emotional surgery – Yang also has to tell Teddy the news. The only one with the guts…

The injured family is dying one by one… the eldest daughter watches as firs her grandma, then her mom cannot be revived. Her father is in a very unstable condition… and cannot breath or function on his own. She makes the ‘family’ decision as the new ‘leader’ that her father not be revived again.

In the end, it is just her and her brother and sister that remain… in an instant, how life can change.

At the end of the episode, we get a nice uplifting (and welcome) surprise – Meredith and Derek get Zola back for good!

Thoughts?

In my opinion, a very good follow up episode to a suspensful and riveting finale.

Give it to him… at least in this scenario, the guy knows how to pick ‘em. DWTS should take note… THIS is a Celebrity format that works because of the solid, D-List celebrities involved. Quality D-List.

Here’s the List:

Men:

• Clay Aiken (runner up on American Idol, my grandma loves him…)
• George Takei (Star Trek…finally one upping his nemisis Will Shatner)
• Penn Jillette (yes, the mute one)
• Paul Teutul, Sr. (“American Chopper” dad)
• comedian Arsenio Hall (I had to Google him, but you’ll know his face when you see him)
• Adam Carolla (comedian and radio personality making the reality show rounds…)
• race car driver Michael Andretti
• Dee Snider (rocker in Twisted Sister)
• Lou Ferigno (The original Hulk and ex-pro body builder)

I love the variety here – Clay Aiken and Adam Corolla? George Takei and Twisted Sister? It’s genius.

Women:

• Victoria Gotti (Former Mob Boss widow…and she’s famous?!)
• Daydana Mendoza (Miss Venezuela among many other awards for her beauty)
• Teresa Giudice (The fiesty Housewife… on one of the housewife shows)
• singer Debbie Gibson (80′s pop princess making her ‘comeback’)
• Aubrey O’Day (I can never really explain why this girl is considered famous… she just, is.) 
• Tia Carrere (ANother one making the reality rounds, also due for a comeback)
• model Cheryl Tiegs (yawn…)
• Patricia Velasquez (another model for Trump to ogle)
•  and comedian Lisa Lampanelli (a comic queen)

The ladies list may not be quite as exciting as the Men’s list… but I think we can all agree that the crown jewel in this equation is Lisa Lampanelli. Comedians kill it on this show… becuase they are quick on their feet, not afraid to act like an idiot infront of big crowds, and are people pleasers. She will lambaste the quiet, demure models and be a strong team member and leader. That’s my prediction. Resistance will come from The Housewife, perhaps the Mob Boss widow… but the weak will fall very quickly.

I think it’s a great cast, one too many models on the girls side… but Trump loves the eye candy.

Thoughts?

Is this the best overall cast ever on a Celebrity Reality Show? I’m just throwing it out there…

Remember when The Bachelor started? It was a hunky, successful perfect mold of a man. There have been many iterations and version of ‘the Bachelor’ image… we’ve seen tall dark and handsom, we’ve seen gorgeous blondes, we’ve had Italian princes, we’ve had pilots and gym rats… and now, we have California floppy, long haired, soft spoken, heart broken Ben.

I dont want to get into a discussion about whether Ben will be a ‘good’ Bachelor… it doest much matter. It’s the format that works, not the prize. But this new ‘bachelor image’ is an odd choice. It seems as though the production crew is fully aware of this peculiar situation… average guy meets 25 ’10′s’ and dictates their future in pageant fashion.

It’s ALL about the girls.

Ben isnt doing alot of heavy lifting… he doesnt have the gravitas nor the personality for it. The girls are carrying every scene, the girls are creating all the drama (surprise surprise) the girls are the focal point of every shot. Ben’s screen time is minimal… beacuse it is inconsequential.

So last night, Ben met his 25 carefully selected (cast) women. The usual suspects show up, models, actors, executive assistants, sales reps, ‘in fashion’, pesonal trainers, dental hygenists… these are people who have the means to take this much time off, dont have an important job to keep them there, or view this as a better opportunity for career movement. (There are 7 model/actress/pageant girls… ’nuff said)

Then there are the crazies… you know who I mean. The Canadian with the last name ‘Bacon’, the game hunter, the ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ love blogger, the southern belles, the perky british world traveler, the girl who brought her grandma, the girl wearing the kentucky derby hat, the girl who walked past Ben without saying a word (insert porn music), and the lesbians.

There was drama as soon as the girls arrived. of course. We didnt wait months post Bachelor Pad for slow ramp up to tears and bickering. No no no… The Bachelor delivers. Not that Ben has anything to do with it.

The love Blogger thinks the lesbians hate her. The girls resent the ‘Grandma’ card and horse gimmick. There is a whole lot of alcohol being poured… tears, hugging, awkward conversations.

The First Impression Rose was given to Lindzi the horseback rider from Seattle. This is an ever-important rose.. this person always seems to be a strong contender for the long haul in this ‘competition’… so watch out for this girl.

The rose ceremony was built up more than most seasons… I guess after 16 seasons, the producers have realized that since we havent formed an opinion on any of the girls, nor do we remember any of their names or backstories – they have to create reasons for us to care about the first cuts.

The one main storyline – the lesbian vs the blogger – proved to be enough to built some suspense for the Rose Ceremony. The blogger showed up late after crying in the bathroom, and both the lesbians made it through to the next round. So did the Blogger…

It’s probably easier to say who DIDNT make the cut… Canadian Bacon, The Brit, one of the actresses, and 3 others. It really doesnt matter… however, each girl probably got just as much air time as Ben in this episode, so that should fill their 15 minutes of fame.

Thoughts? Any early favourites?

I digress.

Of course, the results couldnt be announced without 2 hours of filler reminding us about Simon and LA’s feud, Nicole and Paula’s crocodile tears, the best, the worst and the over emotional from the season. Also, we gave a few people the chance to promote thei albums… like Justin Bieber who has been singing Christmas songs since september to ensure his record went platinum (and it did). He’s ony got 3 more legitimate days to sell this thing before it gets really stale.

The Final 3 were Chris Rene, Josh Krajik and Melanie Amaro. They all had to sing a Christmas song. A bit pointless and shmultzy. I’ll give you 3 guesses (but you’ll get it in 1) as to which song Melanie sang. GO ahead, think about it. If you guesses Mariah Carey… you were just as ‘surprised’ as me.

The third place was announced… Chris Rene.

and all is right in the world.

Finally, the winner is announced: Melanie Amaro wins X Factor!

I made a very bold prediction yesterday that Melanie would take it, I staked my reputation on it so I’m glad she won. However, my personal favourite was Josh from the start. I think the reason both he and Chris are smiling is that they know this aint over for them. Probably 5 or 6 from the top 10 will see the inside of a recording studio within a year because their mentors still want to make $$ off of them. C’mon you know it’s true…and it’s not wrong, it gives the artists a chance to benefit form the show as well.

Thoughts?

Congrats to Melanie Amaro… better get the single out soon.