Red Carpet Recap-

George Clooney in a bow tie. Looking like…George Clooney. Dapper Dapper!

Fergie in Lilac Purple…and looking…busty. Probably to keep her husbnads eyes from wandering…

(did I mention the Haiti ribbons…I’m sure they’d rather have the money…just a thought)

Jeff Bridges is carrying the biggest umbrella I’ve ever seen…I think it’s meant for patio furniture. I bet it echoes in there. Good idea Jeff…

Marion Cottilard…stunning in black. Anything looks good with a french accent.

Bradley Cooper…sans girlfriend Renee…but he looks better without squinty on his arm.

Taylor Lautner— uses the word “fun” redundantly, and talks about how hard it is to stay in shape…aww….we appreciate the effort. thanks.

Courtney Cox with her weird husband…he must thank his lucky stars every morning.

Kate Hudson…or is it Goldie Hawn…either way, she’s wearing an artistically altered kleenex box.

Gerrard Butler– stud. Always sounds like he just rolled out of an Irish Pub…

Harrison Ford and Calista (are there carbs in celery?) Flockhart…I’m zoning out, when did Harrison get old?

Simon (Patrick Dempsey is my hair-twin) Baker.

Samuel Jackson…wearing a …TIE?! geez…mr casual.

interrupted by Robert Downey Jr…no tie or bowtie…but a perfectly coiffed goatee makes up for it.

Sr Paul McCartney– Spoke too soon…HE is carrying the biggest umbrella ever made…more of a tent really. Leave it to the most influential person in the world to have the BIGGEST umbrella…metaphor?

Mickey Rourke– in snake skin. seriously. carrying a taller Russian version of Dakota Fanning on his arm…she doesnt speak. doesnt need to.

Mariah Carey and her accessory/umbrella holder/husband- holeeee…just saw her dress…saved money on the material at the front….since….there is none. Yikes!

Sandy Bullock– a vision in purple! my favourite personality on the carpet- as in, she HAS one. Too bad her face doesnt move…

Penelope Cruz– wow…cheshire cat inspired black/striped dress. but as usual…spanish looks good on everyone 😉

Tobey Maguire – his wife is wearing a doiley. literally.

Power group-Julia Roberts/Tom Hanks– name dropping isnt below them…they give a shout out to Michelle Obama. Nice touch…where’s Oprah?

Colin Farrell– how long can he go without dropping an F-bomb ? Whew…made it.

Quinton Tarantino- wearing a Harry Potter cloak? tres chic.

The Colombian woman from Modern Family– beautiful dress…sounds like Penelope Cruz circa mid-90’s…you know, when she couldnt speak english…and relied on her looks?

Tina Fey– looks pretty…insults Mariah Carey…love her!

Everyone rushes the door- otherwise they will have to pay for their damaged dresses … Start the SHOW!!!