I have to say…I’m REALLY glad it’s raining, humid and miserable outside tonight (and if you knew me or my hair…you’d also know it takes alot for me to say these words).
Why am I NOT cursing the Heavens for it’s cruel attempt to crimp my hair like it’s ’93?
Because, there would be no OTHER valid excuse for me to sit inside a darkened family room, with my favourite guilt-infused snack in last Christmas’ plaid PJ’s (a present from my mom). But I needed a REALLY solid excuse to stay in tonight, because how else would I explain tuning in (with shameful anticipation) to the season premiere of the Bachelor Pad.
Sigh…I tell myself there are worse things I could be doing with my (single life) time. But Jersey Shore isnt on tonight.
So, let’s just get right into it shall we? There is a reason why these people are considered the rejects of the Mothership (Bachelor or Bachelorette) program, and it doesnt take long to recognize these “qualities”.
Each person was hand selected to weave something into the dramatic fabric of the show. Clearly, the REAL emotional break downs and petty harangs will occur between the ladies….but will likely be initiated over a guy-issue (that they will MORE than likely be completly oblivious to…)
In tonight’s episode, I could write a novella about the issues each ‘contestant’ (like this show actually HAS a premise/competition factor…) brings with them to the house (“Pad”). But the most interesting thing to comment on, is the difference in dynamic between the sexes. I mean, I knew we were ‘different’…but it’s so apparant when the two genders are forced to intermix.
Here are the gems of wisdom I can impart after watching this episode:
For the Men:
- If you have EVER (even just that ‘one time’) had a relationship…in ANY capacity (a drink, and 1st base counts) with a woman, and then have to see them again. They will take ownership of you. You are property. Why? Because they believe in their heart of hearts, that there was an intimate connection/bond, and once the heart is involved… territory has been marked. Do NOT try to ignore us. There will be tears and really confusing and awkward conversations.
- Women ALWAYS talk. It’s not that we arent trustworthy…but we cannot help but confide in our ladies about our men. The reason is because you do not react in the same “wolf pack” manner that a gaggle of our closest gals will. It’s just not the same. So, if tehre is anything that you DONT want to be shared with ‘the group’… shut it.
- Words are everything to a woman. So rarely does a man say what we want to hear…soemtimes we have to feed to you. But dont worry, we still get satisfaction from hearing you SAY it (even if it’s literally a “repeat after me” arrangement.)
For the Ladies:
- Guys like money. Hey, so do we, but guys actually go on shows like this for MONEY…not to ‘find true love’. It was said more than a few times tonight…”I’ll do whatever it takes to win”. This is why guys love sports so much…it’s about winning, and nothing else. They’ll endure spandex-tight pants, butt slaps and photoshoots to get there…but they’ll do it all for the WIN.
- Wear a bikini. *eyeroll* all you want, but it seems to really go far in these instances.
- Saying you are ‘taken’ is only an initial obstacle. If at any point you give them the ‘ok’ or the sense of affection…game on. You will feel bad about cheating (and cry to all your girlfriends), the guy will feel the rush of the ‘win’ (and buy rounds for all his pals).
So this show is more than just a 2 hour window to eat Crispers in peace…it’s extremely helpful to male and female singles frustrated by their lack of understanding for the opposite sex.
In the end, The whackjob that no one liked (Michelle) and the Ex-boyfriend that the girls formed a female alliance against (Juan) went home with out money or love. Guess which one cared about the money…(read above ladies!)
To be honest, I’m not sure how much more I can watch of this show…it’s very hard to justify 2-hours of THIS every monday. Poor planning really- they should’ve slotted this into the dead middle of winter when Greys Anatomy goes on a temporary hiatus and Survivor hasnt started yet.
Take what you can use from this…and the rest? Blame it on the lousy weather.