2011 Grammy’s Live Blog

13 02 2011

The Red Carpet was fairly standard.

Minaj came wearing her leopard carpet, Gaga came in an egg-chariot, Bieber wore white, Kathy Griffin tried too hard, and Ricky Martin wore silver pants many girls only dream of wearing.

Can we please stop showing a spinning 360 view of the celebs…it’s nauseating on many levels. Juliana and Ryan… I muted you a few times to focus on what I could and couldnt see in Rihanna’s dress.

Start the show…

Opening with a tribute (to someone else other than MJ…surprise!) to Aretha Franklin. In her video vignette we see the evolution of bad hair decisions…and a killer voice! LL Cool J wearing shades and a poor boy hat indoors introduces the Opening ACt: Christina, Jennifer, Florence, Yolanda, Martina. Girl power.

Did Florence not get the memo? It’s black dress night. And, is it a coincidence or a desperate act of patriotism that Christina got the sparkly red mic?

*sidenote: Kind of a dull opening, considering last year Gaga and Elton shredded a new one with duelling glam and pianos.

Boring… bring out Bieber.

WAIT! Hold the press…the first gaffe of the night…watch close. Xtina just FELL onstage…!!! Thanks to the magic of PVR, you can re-watch and post on youtube instantly. Rough week for this girl.

With much RESPECT, why is Aretha sitting in her living room in a cocktail/wedding dress? that’s one classy DIVA right there!

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the women help eachother down the stairs to introduce:

Best duo/Group: Train/Soul Sister

Train has a bad case of Pattinson hair. Just sayin.

Ricky martin and his tin man pants introduce: Lady Gaga…

The egg enters.The egg hatches. Gaga is wearing a yolk hat and dances with human yolks. (Someone has been working out…girls got abs!) Highlight of the performance was the Organ solo… although, strange she didn’t end up wearing the organ. Next time. Anyone else thinking that her final outfit looks like…a yolk pimp?

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Blake Shelton (who?) introduces his fiancee…Miranda Lambert. Another dull performance…but in her defence, she is following the Gaga Yolk number. Bad planning… should’ve been Bieber.

Lenny Kravitz has no hair! Wait, when did THAT happen?!
Introducing Muse to the stage…I see a gold sequinned suit jacket, british boys and a double neck guitar…I’m already more entertained. Could’ve done without the mob scene in front of the band…a bit too Greenday circa American Idiot for my liking.

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Ryan didn’t leave… he’s still here, and introduces another ‘power grouping’ : Bruno Mars, BOB, Janelle Monet.
Bruno MArs has high hair, Janelle Monet has higher hair and BOB has a monacle on a dummy string.
My TV set is malfunctioning… the colour just went black and white,  and Bruno Mars just turned into Frankie Valley.  Actually, I’m kind of loving that my grandmother is loving this along with me! I love me a good throwback performance.

Jannelle Monet is winning me over… loving this moment! Mars accompanying on drums, and some serious neo-motown-soul up in here! I’ve already forgotten Lambert’s performance.

Zach Brown band seems out of place, but it all makes sense now:

Female Country Performance: Miranda Lambert

Did she win by default? The only country-gal that wasn’t at Carrie Underwood’s ‘my husband plays in Nashville now’ party?

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Eva Longoria continues to get invites to parties she doesnt belong at…introduces Bieber!

Bieber and Usher do an Obi-Wan Kenobe/Luke Skywalker act.
Cute. Until the ninjas appear. Yes, ninjas.
So, Jaden Smith and Nicki Minaj obviously coordinated outfits before the show. Leopard print is officially is back my friends.

Enter Usher and his strobe light to finish off the performance.

Ok, some poeple take music too literally. This girl is wearing music on her dress…too far.

*a Neil Young sighting! I can’t believe he got past Ryan Seacrest and Ben Mulroney… Rockstar.

Best Rock Album: Muse

There’s a trend emerging: if you perform, you win. I’ll be keeping tabs…

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Donny Wahlberg and Selena Gomez

Best Pop Vocal: Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga and her faux leather modelled bum receive her award. Classy, for her.

David Letterman adds some comic relief… and introduces Bob Dylan, Mumford and Sons, Avett Bros:
My favourite performance of the night… is that weird? Stand up bass, banjo, sick classical guitar and NO pyrotechnics!  Emo-Acoustic-hipster-neo-folk is here ladies and gents… and I’m kinda loving it! Bob Dylan on the other hand, looks closer to death than Willy Nelson. Good thing he was never really known for his ‘pipes’ (no pun intended).

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Lea Michele gets her Grammy moment…sort of. She’ll settle for introducing Lady Antebellum. I know it’s a different ‘Lady’ but this performance could have used some Yolk dancers …no?

Miley Cyrus is far too sparkly, and far too irrelevant… it’s amaing what a year does to a reputation. Last year she sang with Taylor Swift, and her parents were proud of her.

Country Album: Lady Antebellum (they just performed… so the trend is becoming eerily obvious.)

Jamie Foxx still pops up at every Award Show… introduces Cee-Lo, Gwyneth and The Muppets.

Elton John…or Cee-Lo shows up in Mardi Gras with his puppet friends. There are an awful lot of boas, sequins and man-powered entities going on. Then Gwyneth Paltrow shows up in a black unitard a la Olivia Newton John in Grease. GOOP seems to be working (maybe Carrie Fisher picked the wrong diet program?). Wow,  she’s working that piano harder than her hubby.

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*sidenote: I’m still humming that darn Cee-Lo song. Feathers or no feathers…catchy tune.

Neil Patrick Harris always gets an invite…of course. Introducing Katy Perry!

Performing a song no one knows is brave… let’s hope a medley is afoot.
Still waiting.
No one likes home videos Katy.
Finally…Teenage Dream. And apparently Nicole Kidman is KP FAN!

What ever happened to Norah Jones you ask? She got her hair cut , oh and she is singing Jolene with Kidman’s Hubby and John Mayor (who already got her number…)  I like these 3…tour? single? Career revival?

Song of the Year: Need You Now (and yes, they just performed…just sayin’)

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Canadian Alert: skinny Seth Rogen. Burns Miley Cyrus (someone had to!) and introduces Rihanna, Eminem and Dr Dre.
Girl is fierce….kills it! Eminem emerges from the ashes (literally and figuratively) and hasn’t missed a beat. Bleepers finally get to work their buttons. And we were worried about Cee-Lo.

The godfather of Rap… Dr. Dre . Thank goodness Mick Jagger is performing, or these guys would’ve felt old. Overall, one of the better performances of the night… Lambert is still a bottom feeder.

Jewel and John Legend look cute together no?

Best New Artist: Esperanza Spalding

Stun.shock.awe. heartbreak for Bieber fans and Canadian tweens nationwide. Will the sun rise tomorrow? Why should it even bother…

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Matthew Morrison gets the worst job of the evening. Nope, not babysitting the Smith kids…introducing the President of the Academy. *time to grab a late night snack, looks like I’ve got some time.

The illustrious, long-suffering, miracle of perseverance… Mick Jagger. Proof that with the right legs and diet (or medicinal) regimen, you can wear skinny jeans at any age. Bieber, take note. Ever a consummate pro, Mick finally got Cindy Lauper on her feet… and didn’t need yolk dancers to back him up!

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Kris Kristopherson reminds me of Jeff Bridges in Crazy Horse.
Introduces Babs… Barbara Streisand. I’m gonna make a solid wager that she won’t have yolk-dancers…
I was right.

* side-question: who’s the bigger gay-icon of the night…Gaga or Streisand?

Nicky Minaj and Will.i.am don’t look…human. Is that the theme this year…Gaga?

Rap Album: Eminem

Another loss for the Canadian contenders. So we are enduring -24 degree weather, and now this?! cold. very cold.

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P-…P-diddy, Puff, Puff Daddy… that guy introduces: Drake and Rihanna

A bonfire on stage…is that really safe?
the heat will no doubt re-fuel the HOT rumours about this duo. I’d be fine with that. Carrie Underwood left us, we need another Canadian-in-law.

J-lo and her husband haven’t been to one of these parties in years. Anthony takes it upon himself to ‘perform’, since he wasn’t formally invited to do so. Awkward.

Record of the Year: Lady Antebellum
The country-Fergie wins again! C’mon… you see it too don’t you?

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* we’re in the home stretch… hang in there folks. Canada’s got one more shot at glory… on paper.

Jason Segal seems like an odd choice to present Arcade Fire. But then…who would be a more appropriate ‘fit’?

You want drama, interest and creativity? No dancing yolks, but Arcade Fire is a seriously exciting band to watch live. I found the lighting on the seizure inducing side… and the bikes were a bit of an afterthought, but the mega phone, female drummer and broken guitar strings made for a great way to end the show. Thank goodness it wasn’t Lambert.

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Babs and Kris reunite to introduce-

Album of the Year: Arcade Fire
!!!!! Gaga might just grow a tail and curl up in her monster cave.
Merci Merci Arcade Fire for ending on a truly Canadian note. And Merci Merci American Grammy’s for letting us have this win.

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It’s a wrap! Only about 27 minutes overtime. And the night got better as time went on… The opening act was weak, but the closing act was superb.

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