Bachelor Monday: February 28

28 02 2011

Bachelor Mondays are getting sparse as we get down to the final Rose!

Tonight, Brad flew his 3 women to South Africa ‘to fall in love’… and see hippos.

Before we move further, the Bachelor Drinking Game words of the evening were “I want to be very real here‘. Get ready to bottoms up!

First date: Chantel

They go on a Safari…surprise- surprise in South Africa. They saw Lions and rhinos and giraffes (oh my!) and had a picnic by the hippo habitat. Sorry, I know…it wasn’t a zoo… but it was a controlled space, and the man with the gun wasn’t going to let anything happen. But of course, Chantel put her ‘faith’ in Brad and felt ‘safe’. C’est L’amour!

Chantel also gets the Overnight Invite. This girl was READY for a tumble in the Jungle. I mean seriously. She wanted to skip dinner, and was probably slightly disappointed when Brad showed her their sleeping quarters. A treetop abode…with no bathroom that I could see. really?! No HoJo in all of Jo-Berg? Just sayin.

Second Date: Emily

After a terribly unromantic hometown date… this had better get steamy, really fast for her to compete with Chantel. Brad brings the sexy with an Elephant ride and another picnic.

At dinner, Emily ALMOSt forgos the Overnight invite and takes a ‘moral stand as a mother’… but gives in. NOT because she wants action, but because she wants to ‘talk’ more with Brad. Please woman, I think you’ve sucked every ounce of vocabulary out of this man… there is no talking left. At least SHE got a room with plumbing for their ‘night of intense conversation and banter’.

Third Date: Ashley

This date started off the same way it ALWAYS starts off with Ashley… giggles, over the top flirtation and pretending to be afraid of something. All good fun…until. HEaven forbid, Brad asked a question about the future, and Ashley could not string together a satisfactory answer. In this case, I saved you from drunken peril by NOT making the drinking words either:  ‘like’ ‘uhhhh’ or ‘y’anno’ .

It carried into dinner, where Brad resorted to talking about the bugs, commenting on the food and sinking into self deprecation. Not that it dissuaded him from giving her ‘the card’. Such a guy. Make up sex will make it all better. Sigh. She of course perks up out of her hissy mood , but it doesn’t last long they retire in awkward silence.

So the Rose ceremony was precluded by intimate videos from the girls to Brad. Chantel said she loves him, Emily says she’s falling for him, and Ashley says … I’m sick of this.

At the Rose Ceremony, Brad takes Ashley aside and breaks up with her. The whole thing was so childish, Ashley could not answer straight questions about where she saw her future…and Brad didnt want to ruin a chance to get some in Africa. So he let her go, to pursue other goals…like becoming the next Bachelorette or joining the cast of DWTS.

Betty and Veronica remain. Chantel vs Emily.

Women Tell All next week, and the week after is the big finale where BRad has promised….he WILL choose a wife.

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