Bachelor Pad Finale

13 09 2011

Did you sit through 3 hours of Bachelor Pad last night to find out the winner, and see the final drama unfold?


I did.

The final challenge was set in Vegas, whereby each team was strapped to a cirque du soleil contraption to perform a 30 second act. The esteemed judges were Bachelor ‘Favs’ (the only successful ones in the ‘family’) Trista, Jason and Ali.

They selected a winner and a loser to go home immediately.

The winner? Michael and Holly…
The Loser? Ella and Kirk

Ella is a dilusioned woman. She cried and huffed and puffed over the fact that she was doing everything for her son. SHe needed the money for a house. She needed to provide a future for her baby. Nothing gets in the way of my precious angel child. But you couldnt run up and down a wall in a secure harness for 30 seconds. Also, have you read the papers recently? Last week Ella made the front pages for having 6 plastic surgery procedures… now there’s a confident, take no guff, bring home the bacon kind of woman. Does she have that new house yet? Nope, but she has a new nose… and less lovehandles.

That was pretty much the extent of the first hour of the show – Michael and Holly had to then make the life or death decision… who to take with them into the final 4. Dear God the drama. Both Michael and Holly made epic sweeping statements about the difference between being ‘selfless’ and ‘selfish’. It’s the most words strung together by Holly this entire season, and I coulda sworn I saw a teleprompter to help her along. Embarassing really.

In the end, they proved how ‘Selfless’ they were by picking a team that had the potential to beat them in the finals.


The next 2 hours went something like this:

  • Hey Ames… why did you break up with Jackie?
  • Hey Jackie, how uncomfortable is it to sit beside him?
  • Jake and Kasey make up
  • Vienna could be the most hated person on Reality TV (and that includes the cast of Jersey Shore and Kate Gosselin)
  • Kasey reveals a speech impediment… I wont touch that.
  • Blake whored himself into doing a commercial for Neil Lane, a previously taped piece shows Blake proposing to Holly.
  • Michael didnt know until he sat down.
  • According to Michelle, Graham is the greatest speciman of a man to ever walk the earth.
  • No one wants to discuss the man-rape attempt by Erica? Nobody?
  • And the new Bachelor is…. Ben F (surprise surprise)

here’s how the money rounds worked – The Final 4 were narrowed to a final 2 via a voting process.

Michael and Holly won handly.

Then, between the two… both parties would be sequestered and asked to choose between two options: Share or Keep.

Stay with me here… Bachelor Pad can be complex at times.

If both choose Share, they split the cash.
If one chooses Keep, that person keeps the whole caboodle.
If both choose Keep, the money is split between the other castmembers.

Cue the dramatics…

Both choose Share, so both parties win an equal amount of 125,000 (before taxes of course)





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