it’s baaaa-aaack! The 13th season of Dancing with the Stars returned last night for it’s long awaited premiere.
There are a few storylines emerging to watch this season. First, did you hear about the 3 million dollar stage renovation? Did you see it, and was it worth it? Doesnt matter, they’ve got money to BURN on this show… a ratings destroyer for the past…13 seasons.
How about the whole Chaz Bono boycott thing? You noticed, Producers are milking this one dry…putting Bono as the final contestant of the night for added drama. Whatever, people still watched, i guarantee it.
Derek Hough is back (my grandma is so pleased!) and there’s a couple of new kids in town…. one named Mergatroid (which I will not be able to get over, sorry, the Snagglepuss reference is too much!) and a brewing sibling rivalry between Maxim and his lil Bro. Cute.
We should also talk a bit about the dancing… the other drama could go on for days (did you see Courtney Cox and Coco in a private box watching ‘daddy’?)
First dance of the night…
Ron Artest and Mergatroyd (teehee…): He’s a lanky basketball player who recently changed his name to “Metta World Peace” (your middle name isnt sounding too bad anymore is it?). He’s like the new version of Dennis Rodman – a guy who gets paid far too much, and adored far too often. So, no, he was not a good dancer, not even a dancer with ‘potential’… he was exactly why people tune in week one… to watch celebrities eat some humble pie infront of millions of people.
Next, Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke – whos the celebrity in this group? I would argue, Cheryl is a bigger star than Rob ever will be. This is a guy who has LESS of a job than his 14 year old 4th-in-line-Kardashian, This whole storyline is so uninteresting to me, I would have much rather seen the Mother Kardashian out there… instead, the only mildly interesting part of his performance was when his loud mouth sister Chloe yelled at the judges from the audience… like it’s a wrestling match,or Jerry Springer.
Nancy Grace and Tristan – Admit it, you thought Nanacy Grace was the token ‘old person’ who would be ousted the first week. She might be ousted early, but it wont be for her dancing. She is a fun one to watch, she has charisma, she tries hard, she has great chemistry with her Irish dance partner… she could surprise people. Her dancing was at par with the rest of the pack, but she has a better personality than most if not all… on this show, that’s money.
Kristen Cavallari and Mark – could there be a better person for Mark? It’s like he signed a contract a few years ago that guaranteed him the young, hot, fresh and game-for-anything contestants. He is quite a talented dancer/choreographer, but he needs a partner that he can boss around, flip around and keep up. Kristen is that girl this year… however, I’m not sure how many fans she’ll have. She’s not the worst reality-tv ‘character’ of the past 5 years, but she wouldve been better served signing on to this show a few seasons ago, when her popularity was at its peak. The Hills is SO over, and if my mom doesnt know who you are… you won’t win this show. However, she has the body for it and the partner to push her to the top.
Chyna Philips and Tony– has a chance of sticking around for awhile. She has a great body (but not intimidating) and a nice personality, which really fit well in her slow viennese waltz last night. She emerged after a long string of sub-par performances, so naturally she was like a beacon of hope for the rest of the season. One of the best of the night.
Carson Kressly and Anna– is the definition of ‘personality’. If personality wins over talent, this guy is going to be here for a very long time. However, if people are making a big stink about Chaz, are they the same people who will NOT enjoy this man’s….flambuoyancy? That could also be a downfall, not to mention, he’s not a great dancer. But he has potential because he cares so much, and because he can be taught. Personalit however, cannot be taught.
Ricki Lake and Derek– There’s always one contestant who believes it is their mission to prove that a) ‘anyone can dance’ and that b) ‘dancing is a great weight loss system’ on the cover of a magazine. Ricki Lake, is that woman this season. Not that I didnt enjo her dancing, she was actually very well poised, and the joy of the experience radiates from her pores. I just also walked by a newstand that already has her proclaiming she has lost ‘8 inches’ off her waist. I’m sick of it already…
David Arquette and Kim– is going to be a player in this game. His storyline could be one of the better ones… he is recently split from long time relationship with Courtney Cox, he is recently sober and trying to get his life back together. We could be watching that transforamtion happen on this stage in the coming weeks. Drama aside, he is also a pretty good dancer… Top 3 or 4 right now.
JR Martinez and Karina – Karina got another good one this year! This is a pair to watch, as they quickly became the best dance of the night right out of the gate. Sometimes it’s ahrd to maintain, but I think this guy, an ex war-vet, might be up for the challenge. He’s a burn victim, and he has a career in Soaps, trust me the guy has overcome bigger hurdles than a 6 hour dance schedule.
Elisabetta Canalis and Lil Max – is an enigma. She’s the Italian girl who dated George Clooney (America’s Bachelor), but she likes to call herself an actress/model (dont we all?). Models, traditionally, do not do well in this competition. Voters find them hard to connect with, and in this case… she does not have alot going for her. She doesnt have a career in America, she isnt fluent in the language, her body is sick and unatainable… and she’s not a great dancer.
Chaz Bono and Lacey– Ok, I’m sure everyone changed channels as Chaz took the stage…right? Nope, we all watched. I’m going to try to spare the politics, and the awkwardness that this situation presents for a large group of people…it’s just another storyline for this season. Chaz danced like a man, but had the ‘light’ of a woman when he performed. I mean this to say, it’s interesting to watch. He was not a bad dancer as everyone expected, I wish we could all move on…even Chaz, because if he perpetuates his storyline ad nauseum, it wont matter who’s ‘side’ anyones on, he is going to get annoying and get the boot. Let the dancing speak!
The first elimination show is tonight, who is getting the early axe?