DWTS: Week 2

It’s Week 2 of Dancing With the Stars… the new, improved, $3 million stage reno, bigger Stars edition!

Right.

Thankfully, last week we stopped caring about what to call ‘that basketball player’… Metta World Peace was eliminated. That is the last time I will say that name with my serious face… it’s over.

This week, we can start to really critique the dancers… it’s almost unfair to do that in week 1. Cream will start to rise to the top, leaders will begin to emerge, tears will flow, injuries will crop up, Bruno will say soemthing naughty…I can’t wait, let’s get to the dancing!

1. Hope Solo and Maks – Can I jsut say something, Hope scares me. Yes, she is imposing and competitive… but also, she wears her confidence all over her facial expressions and gestures. Last night, part of her choreography was to get the crowd on their feet and clapping… if you slow mo-ed it, you would be frightened. Somehow, this girl needs to live among the real people and soften her edges a little. America doesnt care about soccer… but they will embrace you if you connect with them and humble yourself a tad. Her dancing is fine, it’s progressing… if she can stick around long enough, she’ll have a ‘break out’ week for sure.

2. Rob Kardashian and Cheryl – Better. Definitly better. However, the wardrobe decision maker who put him in THAT Hawaiin shirt needs a new postition. Seriously. It was a vacation outfit, an outfit ONLY acceptable on vacation with your family at a resort. It didnt help his case, even though his dancing was marginally improved form last week. The judges for some reason thought it was the reincarnation of Fred Astaire and gave him overwhelming praise… this is when I start to think they’ve got a script, a roadmap for the seson… each person gets a ‘high week’, this was Robs.

3. Kristen Cavallari and Mark – Kristen was completely unrecognizable as ‘Marilyn Monroe’ (how original) which might actually be the right direction for her. She needs to be ‘in character’ every week to go far because no one is a fan of Kristen Cavallari. It’s not 2009 anymore. Last night’s dancing was just ok,  but her performance and get up were entertaining. She’s not the worst dancer of the bunch, but she may have the least fans.

4. Elisabetta and Val – I’m going to be a little bit bitter and ruthless here. Don’t mind me. Last night I said out loud ‘ good thing she’s got a good body, because her personality and dacning kinda suck.’ If she wasnt nice to look at, this woman would be a wreck. She doesnt have a good disposition, she doesnt have a work ethic, she’s not so hot when she’s not smiling, and her coodination is atrocious. Models are not succesful on this show, probably because of people like me. We secretly dispise them for the fact that they have no talent or ‘try’… yet they have been successful in life based on their appearance. She was terrible again last night, it’s almost hard to watch… so, good thing she fills a ballgown with a perfect shape.

5. Carson Kressly and Anna – The night was a little boring, and then… Carson. He is the human Big Bird. He is almost impossible not to like… go ahead, send the hate mail. Here’s why he is so likable: He has a well definied personality, he is almost luminouswhen he dances, he tries harder than most and he doesnt take himself seriously. Len hit it right on the head, the unfortunate thing is… the people with the most personality are the worst dancers on this show. If Carson had an ounce more natural dancing ability, he’d be on the leader board.

6. Chaz Bono and Lacey – It happens every year, and every year I go through the process of psycho-analyzing the real situation. Injuries begin to appear. Yes, these peple are not used to dancing 8 hours a day. Yes, most of these people do not have the most athletic bodies (to begin with). Yes, dancing is very physical. But I jsut feel liek sometimes, an injury can be a perfect crutch or a perfect cover for a bad performance. Last night, Chaz had knee issues that made his Quickstep painfully slow. Seriously, I’ve seen more robust waltzes at old folks homes.

7. Chynna Philips and Tony – Chynna is beautiful, she has natural grace and moves very well to the music. However, I do find that she suits some dances far better than others. Last night, she approached her quickstep the same as her previous waltz. She didnt get down into the floor, her bounces werent energized and her frame was high. But she still looked pretty good because she has the poise to pull it off. She needs to work on attacking each dance with a different set of skills and technique.

8. Nancy Grace and Tristan – I had higher hoped for Nanacy, and I think she let me down a bit last night. She started off with such gusto and determination, but this week her lack of dancing abilities let her down and made her appear weak. Her dance was tentative and she looked extrememly nervous and unsure of her steps. This shatters her persona of tough, vivacious TV judge… she may be in some trouble if she wasnt already.

9. Ricki Lake and Derek – Ricki had a breakthrough with this dance. She picked up the pace and performed a hard hitting, full cylander routine a la classic Derek Hough. She is going to be a board-topper this season, and might just have the personality + talent uotia that is needed to be a true contender. A great dance, and she received high praise and high scores from the judges.

10. David Arquette and Kym– I’m not sure whether to get behind the ‘new’ David Arquette, or remember the unlovable- jerk-goof-ball he used to be. I feel liek he needs this competition right now, and therefore I am impressed with his dedication to the learning process. He may need a week or two to really start to develop his skills, but I think he has the potential to be really good. I don’t think he can win, but I think he can gain some dignity with his performances and persona on the show.

11. JR and Karina– Ended the night with waht I thought was the dance of the night. The judges thought Ricki Lake was better, but I was completely shocked by the professional performance of this routine. JR has mad skills, he also is a great person to cheer for and he is absolutely going to be a leader in this competition for a long time. It’s week 2, and this guy looked like a pro on the stage, jumping, jiving, totally in time and with a smile on his face the whole time.  He makes me excited for this season.

Thoughts?

Who will get eliminated on week 2? Tune in tonight to find out…