The Bachelor: Monday February 6th

7 02 2012

If you’re a Bachelor fan, it can’t get much better than last night.

Am I right?

Last night’s episode had EVERYTHING we love about the Bachelor, shoved into a 2 hour show.

Neurosis, girl-fighting, ugly crying, sabatage, awkwardness, a twist and a tearful goodbye.
Some of you might arge to make it a ‘perfect’ Bachelor show, Courtney would’ve been in the limo… but you can’t have it all, all the time. Courtney is still here, and as long as she flaunts that bikini for Ben and makes him feel like a Rockstar with a model girlfiend… she’s sticking around.

Let’s get to the meat of the episode…

Ben gets all exotic and caveman this week – both the one on one and the group date were ‘adventure’ dates. The first, with Kacie B was Survivor-esque, dropping the couple off with nothing but gummie bears, Ben’s manly skills and a team of producers/cameramen. Somehow, they got through it alive!

On the Group Date, Ben paddled the girls to a secluded island in the raingforest, where they also happened upon a jungle-village – good thing they werent canabals, or things couldve gotten really interesting. No, instead, the remote tribe decided to throw a dance party with costumes! The girls got out of their wet clothing, and into something ‘more comfortable’ like beaded brasiers and body paint. Every season they do a group date like this, that is supposed to show ‘another side’ of the contestants. You’ll remember, that’s the date AShley started noticing Ben – when they went on a local charity mission. However, Ben was so focused on ogling Courtneys accidental ‘wardrobe malfunction’, that he missed the point. Producer wanted him to say things like “I’ve never seen that side of ‘so and so'” “She’s so kind and compassionate” “Wow, ‘so and so’ is great with kids, she’d be a wonderful mother!” “It’s obvious that charity and giving back is very important to ‘so and so’, which is great becuase I am also a philanthropist  in  my spare time”. Those words couldve been uttered if he spent any time with the other girls, or looked up at all from the beaded bra of Courtney.

Oy, men.

Then there was the dreaded… 2 on 1 date.  A battle between Blakely and Rachel. It’s a DARN good thing Blakely wasnt on the group date… her ‘upper extremities’ wouldve had a hard time staying put in those bead-bras. In any case, the two head out with Ben to vie for his attention – one stays, one goes. They go Dirty Dancing where Blakely… obvoiusly, steals the show. Where you learn THOSE moves honey? let’s jusy say Blakely is very comfortable in that atmosphere. Later that night, Rachel spends her time wisely with Ben, telling him that true love isnt about grinding and boob flashing… no, what they have is real because it has roots. Blah blah…
I dont know if that speech saved her, but you know what didnt hurt? Blakely turning into a psycho wihtout warning. We expect her to make out with Ben in hot tubs, we expect her to grind on him in the club… but did we expect the scrapbook thing? Blakely brings out a scrapbook that she has presumably made detailing fake life events for her and Ben. Of all the slimey things this girls has done this season, this has to be the ickiest. Who knows how Ben wouldve chosen pre-scrapbook, but post-scrapbook stunt…? Blakely gets the heave ho. Nip that one in the bud early, good choice Ben.

In yet another season bomb-dropping – Casey requests a mediated conversation with Ben in his private quarters. Mediator? Dr. Chris Harrison of course. She tells Ben that she still has feelings for a guy back home, she tells a very weak tale about how she can’t fight it any longer and how it’s unfair to stay…. to which Ben says, uh yah! Dont let the door hit you on the way out.

So now, Ben has been ‘left’ mid season more than any other Bachelor. Interesting factoid. Also, can we stop calling Kacie B “Kacie B” now that the ‘other Casey’ is gone? I’m really sick of the elementary school moniker.

To the Rose Ceremony… Where a nutjob emerges from the group. Timid, unassuming Jaime has been stressing all episode about how to show Ben that she really likes him. She has a dream that she does the hoochy-mama lap wrap and has a hot makeout session with Ben. In reality, she giggles through the process, awkwardly stumbles onto Bens lap, and kisses him like a 15 year old at a school dance. It’s the most entertaining, most painful 5 minutes on theis season of the Bachelor… and it is by far my reward for watching hours of uninteresting ‘formula’ on this show. THIS ladies and gents, is why I watch the Bachelor. For whackjobs like this, who are lovely, normal people on their own turf, who are compelled to ‘come out of their shell’ on TV. I love it.

Ben, was probably not turned on. just a guess.

The best part of this incredibly awkward ‘moment’ he was having with Jaime, was the distraction of Courtney splashing around int he pool behind him in her bikini. She is a genius.

I’ll give you 3 guesses as to who went home without Ben tonight? If you guessed the girl who couldnt kiss Ben without laughing and babbling on and on…. you’re a winner. Jaime gets sent home, even after she delivered the moment of the night. Sigh… life is so cruel. Oh to be a fly on the wall when she sees the editing job on this one!

Thoughts?

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