The Academy Awards 2012: Live Blog

26 02 2012

Let’s be honest, no other Award show stands a chance next to The Oscars. Sure, we like the other awards shows, they are cute. We applaud the effort. But this night… this is the night of the ultimate distinction, where the best of the best choose the best of the best to raise onto the ultimate career pedestal.

It’s the biggest night of my year. Not gonna lie.

Overblown? Maybe. But that’s the fun of it!

If you can make it past the pre-pre show, where Z-listers are asked their opinion on the mundane to the insipid. Guess what kind of hair gel you can use to replicate the potential look of the red carpet stars? Lets ask Ken Paves!

Then you’ve got to keep yourself alive through the pre-show where Ryan Seacrest and his E! brood of Hollywood ga-ga bevies take on the Red Carpet. These LA faced ‘hosts’ can talk ad nauseum about the most excruciatingly bland topics. Putting a panel together to argue the difference between red, coral, and pomegranate or nude, beige and ecru. Tip toeing around being inoffensive and politically correct – pretending to be serious when asking questions like ‘when did you wake up this morning?’. When you’re asking people of they brought a flask to calm the nerves, it aint hard hitting journalism.

If you can stand it, if you can be a trooper… you’ve achieved the annual Oscar rite of passage. Only about 4 hours to go.

I hope I’m not making it sound intolerable. I absolutely revel in this night every year. Yah, the Red Carpet hosts are eye-roll worthy, and the hype is usually shameless and over the top… but I’m still that little girl that has every Oscars taped since 1995. I’m still that film school student who threw value village red carpet parties and ‘shhhhh-ed’ anyone who talked during the show. I’m now that girl who turns off her phone and clears her calendar so that she can live blog and takes Oscar pools far too seriously.

I’m ready. I’m so into it, it’s embarrassing.It’s 5 minutes to the show, and I’m tingling with anticipation!

Dim the lights…. curtains opening. #squeal!

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You were expecting Billy Crystal, but Morgan Freeman opens the show. He is…. The Voice.

Was there a shot in hades that Billy wasn’t going to do the Oscar opening montage he made (in)famous?  All the best pictures are lampooned – appearances by The Biebs (Canadian Content!), a kiss with George Clooney, the ‘poo pie’ moment from the help, leading into the ‘poo’ moment from Bridesmaids, hey look! Tom Cruise DID make the cut…

He banters, a little bit unsuccessfully… but when faltering, start singing! He does it better than anyone, the musical stand up. He looks so comfortable and works the crowd like a champ. Ahhh…. just like ol’ times.

on a sidenote, is there a funner group to sit with than The Help this entire award season? Please, would you rather sit beside those ladies or Rooney Mara…I rest my case.

First award presenter… Tom Hanks. Who else?

Best Cinematography: Hugo

quickly and unceremoniously… NEXT!

Best Art Direction: Hugo

If you’re counting… that’s a quick 2 on the board for Hugo, and zero…any other film. Just wait, you’re going to get sick of The Artist pretty soon.

…. look at that! The live band gets the upper box seats usually reserved for the peanut gallery.

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A weak intro into a video montage of ‘movie moments’. The obvious are there – Titanic, Jaws, Star Wars, Rocky…. and others like Harry Met Sally, Princess Bride…. uh, really?

Cameron Diaz shows off the success of her arm toning regimen, and Jlo show off… HER god given assets. Surprised?

Costume Design: The Artist
(btw. This guy is Canadian… )

Make up Design: The Iron Lady

I love watching Meryl ‘Woop Woop’ for her make up designer… I also loved the off-the-cuff ‘try’ from Jlo and Cameron. Turning around to announce the award. Please. Jlo got to show off BOTH her money makers, she’s gotta chalk that up as a PR win.

another video montage… every actor you can think of, with great lighting, describing their first recollection of ‘The Movies’. People like Adam Sandler slipped in there… he’s up for a ton of Razzies this year….so…

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Sandra Bullock, major movie star, presents for Foreign language… KILLS it with a German/Chinese gag. I dont miss the contrite Madonna at all in this situation. Even though, she would be the obvious choice as a presenter… #sarcasm

Best Foreign Language Film: The Separation

(despite what he says in his speech, somehowI doubt that there are legions of Iranians watching. There are a few other things that would take priority at this time… just saying)

And Christian Bale looks seriously dapper in an all black tux/shirt/tie … (is anyone NOT going to see him in the final Batman? I’m so there opening day…)

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer

If you didn’t have her in your Oscar pool… you weren’t paying attention.
She smartly covered all her bases with”Thank you Steven Spielberg” and  “Thank you World!”.

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Billy Crystal introduces the next video piece, a fun little ‘focus group’ scene with some comic geniuses… Katherine Ohara, Eugene Levy are always great!  (FYI. More Canadian content!)

Enter Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper… They could’ve given her some more script to work with, she’s MADE for the live environment…when are they going to realize that?!

Best Editing: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

They were sitting pretty far back #badplanning

Best Sound Editing: Hugo

*anyone else thinking that the people at People shouldve taken personality into account when selecting Sexiest Man this year? Y’know what’s not sexy? A dull as mud pretty face.

Sound Mixing: Hugo

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The Muppets make an appearance, to introduce Cirque du Soleil’s ode to ‘The Movies’. Remember when The Cirque was a bunch of french canadian clowns? Not anymore! What a show they put on… highlight so far! #ThatsEntertainment #MoreCanCon

Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. – RDJ does a sight gag with a doc crew… Gwyneth plays along better than I would expect. #goodgirl

Best Documentary: Undefeated

yet another sign of the 2012 apocalypse… P Diddy gets a shout out at The Oscars.

Chris Rock appropriately presents Animation…. he is fantastic as a presenter, but this is old hat for him. Remember, he hosted this gig a few years ago. Before the Anne Hathaway and James Franco debacle.

Best Animated Film: Rango

No. Johnny isnt there, if he was, Gore Verbinski wouldve had a better seat.

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Melissa McCarthy is a funny lady, so glad she’s getting some camera time tonight!

Emma Stone and Ben Stiller present – Emma Stone proves why she’s so lovable (and Lindsey Lohan’s career just took another major hit). LOVE that the producers are giving actors/actresses rope this year… creating some great moments.

Visual Effects: Hugo

If you’re keeping count, Hugo is killing it… You might think it’s got a chance to sweep the BIG one. #OscarPoolSurprise

Melissa Leo gets an automatic invite back for winning last year… they choose to forgive and forget the swearing on live TV thing.

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer

The oldest actor EVER to win an Oscar. And more…. #CanCon

*Is it wrong to say that Christopher Plummer looks like one of the jeering old Muppet men?

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BIlly Crystal does a fantastic ‘I know what you’re thinking’ bit with unsuspecting audience members. He does a great job at playing with the audience without making them completely uncomfortable a la #RickyGervais

Penelope Cruz and Owen Wilson are a slightly mismatched pair (question: why does his hair NEVER change?) and present…

Best Original Score: The Artist

Will Farrel and Zach G make a splash by crashing cymbals in front of the King and Queen in the front row (Brangelina). Now this was a great comic pairing! On a side note, Brad and Angie seem to be in high spirits and a good mood tonight. #stillcampaigning

Best Original Song: The Muppets

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There are girls handing out popcorn… considering the waifish starlets are literally sewn into their haute couture and are months into a rigorous Oscar diet… this is probably the wrong crowd for caloric refreshments.

Angelina Jolie is rocking a hip-high slit…. and some serious LA face.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Descendants

The winners do an exceptional job at playfully mocking the Angelina hard pose. Brilliant!

Best original Screenplay: Midnight in Paris

More famous people talk about the essence of great film. I love that Reese Witherspoon has an embarrassing favourite movie. As do I. But I wont reveal it until I get asked to be in a video montage on the subject.

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The technical awards highlights… amazing how they can recap this ceremony in less than a minute. back to the pretty people!

Kristen Wiig and the Bridesmaids FINALLY get a chance to be awesome on stage. They may not win tonight, but let’s recognize that they were the most entertaining group on ‘the award circuit’ this year. #FunnyWomen

Best Short Film: The Shore

Melissa McCarthy plays a drinking game with “Scorsese”. Werent we all? Cheers.

Documentary Short Subject: Saving Face

and the last Bridesmaids present…

Best Animated Short Film: The Fantastic Flying Books

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Michael Douglas gets a solo gig as a presenter.

Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius

This is where the French start taking over the awards…watch out.

Meryl Streep is presenting and nominated this year #WhatElseisNew . She is the picture of elegance and distinction. Now THATS a star! Somehow, she commands attention without showing obligatory boob, or…leg.

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Here comes the Memorial Montage…a piece that is sure to make even War Horse seem tame. Oh dear, here comes the choir. #tissueplease . Mostly all photos this year… very Annie Lebovitz -esque .

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In part 3 of the Famous People introspective, we finally get a cameo from Julia Roberts.

Natalie Portman only comes out of hiding at Award season. We haven’t seen her since last year’s campaign. The stars up for the ‘BIG’ awards get a full oratory essay about their great work.

Best Actor: Jean DuJardin

is this the 2011 Roberto Begnini? The over enthusiastic and hard to understand European…who we may never see again?

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Colin Firth will honour the ladies… #swoon .

Best Actress: Meryl Streep

GASP! Twitter just exploded! Moment of the night… biggest surprise? How is it a surprise when it’s Meryl?!
I could watch her accept awards all night….any sunday night, all year.

aaaaand the final award of the night, presented by Tom Cruise. Must’ve campaigned HARD for this gig.

Best Picture: The Artist

C’est Fini ! Bon Nuit…

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27 02 2012
Oscars Wrap Up 2012 « TV Night Blog

[…] was live blogging, but I wanted to wrap up the evening with a post- show retrospective and discussion. I havent yet […]

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