Bachelorette Recap: Week 7

26 06 2012

Emily decided last week to keep 2 guys, so this week there were STILL 6 guys in the running for her affection. In my opinion, there are probably only 3 guys with any REAL chance at her hand and her heart. She knows that too… which is why she got rid of 2 guys this week, without so much as a bat of an eye.

Next stop on the Bachelorette Travel network – Prague.

There are 4 dates planned: 3 one on ones, and a group date.

1. One on one: Ari

Has a secret! If you’ve read the tabloids recently, you already know what the ‘secret’ is (weeks ago, right?)… he was in a relationship with one of the producers a few years ago. However, what they failed to mention in the show, is that they are still very much close acquaintences. It’s the reason he made the show. Scandal! Do you really think each contestant comes to the show honestly? Of course not! Each contestant has been hand ‘casted’, selected, and it doesnt hurt to have a connection. c’est la vie! But Emily is right, they couldve been very open and honest with her about the relationship, and Ari ‘hiding’ it like a Playboy Magazine, is juvenile.

It doesnt matter…because according to Emily, the producer missed out because Ari is such a good…kisser. I cant make this stuff up. Those words came out of her mouth. A grown woman.

Ari kissed his way to full redemption and forgiveness… she has a really, really big crush on this one.

2. One on One: John

What an agonizingly boring person. He is terrible on camera, hardly looks at Emily when he speaks to her, and has nothing overly compelling to impart. They go into a dungeon for dinner, and he pretends to be scared along with emily. Then he tells an ’emotional’ story about a girl that cheated on him, and instead of being sympathetic, I found it extremely awkward to watch – and he called his date a homerun. Yikes. Delusional.

And is there anything more immasculating than your roomate stealing the girl behind your back? Sean waited until John returned home, and slipped out to steal some alone time for himself. Homerun? I think Sean got MUCh closer to a homerun than John did that night! They were rounding second in the alley!

3. Group date: Sean, Doug and Chris

This group date turned into a 2 on 1 very early on – Cartoon Doug was sent home, or graciously set free, by Emily after a long chat about their future. Doug ‘saw’ it. Emily was not ‘feeling’ it. Doug reminded me of a nervous promdate… and no one feels comfortable sitting next to THAT guy. The lowlight of the entire episode, was watching Doug ‘go in for the kiss’. She was in the middle of rejecting him, and he went for it. She thanked him sweetly and hardly skipped a beat. 5 seconds later, he was packing his bags.

Remember Sean’s romantic gesture last night? Well, Emily sure did. Chris didnt stand a chance in this 2 on 1. But you know what definitely didnt help? His intense scowl, and reprimand of Emily’s decision to include him in a group date and not a 1 on 1. Like a petulent child. Like somehow, it was his god-given RIGHT to spend time with her. Verging on Kalon-esque.

4. One on One: Jef

Where Jef uses a puppet as his mouthpiece to say ‘I love you’ to his girl. It’s just so cheeseball, and so immature. but then , their relationship is that. She is a different Emily when she is with him. She is goofy, she allows herself to get wrappe dup in his clumsy charm, she accepts the skinny jeans…

I just don’t picture that family photo! An Emo hipster and his southern Belle. It’s just… baffling. However, Jef IS a nice guy, and they seem to have a good time canoodling and talking about life, love and other mysteries. Could he be a father figure…like yesterday… for Ricky? I don’t see it, but maybe she does.

At the Rose Cermony – Emily makes up her mind without a cocktail reception, and Chris couldnt be more panicked! He stops the Rose Ceremony for one last chat with Emily. He apologizes, and pleads his case – it’s exhausting isnt it?

It seemed to be convincing enough for Emily, she keeps Chris and sends John home. Shocked? Nope. Do I think she flip flopped after Chris’ empassioned apology? Perhaps. But she knew that Doug and John, and likely Chris were never going to be her husband… so it was a pretty easy decision this week.





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