The Bachelor March 6th: ‘Women Tell All’

6 03 2012

I used to think the ‘Women Tell All’ show was filler, a throw away, completely fake and unimportant to the ‘flow’ of The Bachelor season.

I’m never thrilled when it airs, because I generally speaking don’t learn anything new, nor so I care what the eliminated women have to say.

I was of the same mind this year, but I am loyal to the show (and to my readers who have to sit through the same sloppy TV that I do…) so I tuned in again last night.

I’m not a fan of recapping each girls ‘journey’ on the show – who cares? We’ve already seen it. This is a tactic used to give Chris leading questions, show a split screen where each girl cries over lost love and ABC gets another 2 hours out of the franchise.

Last night, there was a lot of recapping.

But there were some interesting moments that made the show worthwhile to me this year. First, notice that the girls had elected a spokesperson and ringleader… Emily (campaigning HARD for the next Bachelorette… after the OTHER Emily of course). Her right-hand mouthpiece was Blakely (of all people?). They ran the show. They allowed other to speak, of course, but were in control of the room the entire time. Anytime a girl wanted to chime in, you saw them look to one of those two first for permission and then for acknowledgement. Strange.

The only TRULY must-watch moment in the entire show, was when they brought out Courtney to stand trial against the other girls. Honestly, the ladies had been talking smack about Courtney for an hour and a half, and then Chris brings the poor girl out to face the music. Cruel and unusual punishment and torture in my opinion. Even if she WAS a cold hearted, fake, scene stealer… having to sit as a firing squad of overtly dramatic ex-roomies air their rage on national TV is almost a cheap shot pulled by ABC.

Do you agree?

Yes, Courtney on this show was hard to read, and Yes she said some things that were grounds for some discontentment. But girls, you know just as well as I do that when ladies are forced to share space for a long period of time under stressful situations and emotional highs/lows… we arent always poised and rational. Am I wrong?

In my opinion, from what I’ve seen on TV, what I’ve read, even with the brutal edit the show gave her… Courtney is kind of an introvert who can’t connect and work the room with charm in the same way others could. She’s not an Emily who makes up silly raps and makes friends easily. I bet Emily is the life of the party everywhere she goes. She’s not overly warm, like a Kacie B, who attracts people to her genuine disposition.

She doesnt have a TON of charisma, so she probably felt the need to fake it for the purposes of the show and to mask her awkwardness. She strikes me as someone who gets along better with one or two people in a room, rather than a huge party of extroverted individuals.They wanted their 15 minutes of fame too… they just went about it a different way. Now they judge.

Blakely. She called you a stripper because you look like a stripper. You paid to look like a stripper. You bought stripper clothes for the show, and you never met a bikini that was ‘too small’. Maybe you’re a nice person. Maybe you’re a good friend, a good sister, a good daughter. But you CHOSE a role and a ‘look’ for this show. It’s like dying your hair bright purple and wondering why people are ‘always loooking’ at you.

Anyways, they lambasted Courtney to the edge of a breakdown. I don’t think Courtney was capable of much more in terms of her emotional authenticity. It was quite frankly overwhelming. Hard to watch even. The girls were ALL trying to say their piece, ALL trying to lay the smack down, ALL demanding of a ‘sincere apology’.

Havent we all been in a situation where we’ve been misunderstood, and it finally comes to a head? This was it for Courtney. She faced her den of wolves, with no help from anyone, no support, no friends.

Kinda sad right?

Not if she ‘wins’ in the end… so stay tuned.
It DOES beg the question though… is Ben REALLY worth it?


The Bachelor: Hometown Dates February 20

21 02 2012

I’m almost glad I didnt remember until last night that it was Hometown Date night on The Bachelor.

I wouldve been too excited and over analytical the days leading up to monday night, much better to be pleasantly surprised in my case.

Let’s get right into it shall we… 4 girls, 4 hometowns.

Lindzi – Somewhere Horsey and Southern 

No surprise,  remember, this is the girl who rode in on a horse. Ben says some drivel like ‘ I knew she liked horses, but I didnt know it was such a  big part of her’. Really? You mean you didnt expect that her dad would challenge you to a carriage race? Or that he would admit to you that they kept Lindzi away from boys so she could focus on her horses? Ben seemed very comfortable with the family dynamic, and there’s not alot to not like about Lindzi. She is pretty down to earth, and so are her parents. But is this the kind of life Ben sees himself living? You can take the girl out of her hometown, but you can’t take the hometown out of the girl. Y’know?

Oh, and if you wanted a Bachelor drinking game for the evening… the word is ‘falling’ or ‘love’.

Becuase each girl is now ready to say… I am falling in Love with Ben OR I have fallen in Love wth Ben OR I can see myself falling in love with Ben. See the differences? Well, wither way… you’re going to get a little tipsy if you’re playing along.


Kacie B – in another Southern place

Remember on their first date when Kacie B stole a baton from the store to show Ben her skills? Well, he’s on HER turf now, and she put together a little show for him – complete with highschool marching band. Remember when Tenley DANCED for Jake? That was an awkward moment for everyone. I am getting that same feeling from this ‘entrance’… imagine for a moment what Ben is thinking. “Holy crap. This is a grown woman, performing a baton twirling routine from her grade 9 glory days. Yikes.” The rest of the date… unbelievably, went downhill from there. Ben meets her daddy, and daddy does not give his blessing for a proposal at the end of this. Then mommy tells Ben that she would not approve of them living together. 2 strikes… plus the baton twirling?


Nicki, in yet another Southern Horse place.

This horse place is scarier than the first horseplace. Because this horseplace is like the MGM backlot they forgot to tear down after John Waynes last picture wrapped. Ben and Nicki go to the tack shop for a boot fittin’ and cowboy outfittin’. Ben gets a really really nerdy hat and uncomfortable looking boots. Under the hat, his hair looks like a bowl cut a la all the little boys in my calss circa 1995. Not a hot look. But Ben says he’s living out a fantasy…. but playing cowboy dress up is different than living it. The guy who did your fitting… you know, the one with the grey mullet and mutten chops? That guy lives it. Nicki seems to have a nice family, Ben seems to enjoy himself and the father bestows a tearful blessing on the couple.


Courtney in…. not California.

I expected a Californian family, with Real Housewifes taste. You know, like Chantel O’s family a few seasons past… statues, pools, vaulted ceilings and catering. Instead, we went to her familys home in Arizona where we met her sister and her parents. I always study the interaction between the contestants and their families… particularly their ciblings, because it’s hard to fake that relationship. Courtney was very sweet, very natural and very respectful of the household. The vibe was actually very inviting and friendly. Courtney had a talk with her sister that seemed like a candid conversation between sisters (unlike the one between Kacie B and her sis…where Kacie B did ALL the talking and the sister nodded, twice.) erhaps Courtney is misunderstood, mis-edited, mis-represented on this show… beacuse in her element, she certainly disnt ONCE seem like a manipulative hater.

However, if I were any of the other girls – I would be extremely upset about 2 things.

1. The skinny dipping thing.
2. The fake wedding thing.

Courtney has been naked with Ben, and has now basically gone through the motions of marrying Ben. Does anyone else actually stand a chance?

I think at this point, the girls are jockeying for the position as next Bachelorette… the Miss Congeniality prize, rather than the real prize (Ben… I have to keep reminding myself of that.)

So at the rose ceremony, it’s no surprise that Kacie B is sent home. Ben steered clear away from that family disaster. He knew, that if things got any more serious he’s have to have THAT arguement with Kacie’s parents. The one that goes against all their moral values and Kacie’s entire upbringing.

I’ll bet he wasnt looking forward to that.

So the final 3 remain: Courtney, Lindzi and Nicki.


The Bachelor Monday: January 30th

31 01 2012

See now…. THIS is why we watch The Bachelor.

THIS is why the franchise has become so successful.

THIS is why it wins it’s timeslot every monday, why spin offs like The Bachelor Pad draw viewers and why it continues to be one of the longest running reality TV programs (next to Survivor of course).

Every week, we tune in because there is a formula that we can’t resist, and every once and awhile there’s a moment we were SO glad we tuned in to see. Mostly, so we can talk about it with our girl friends later.

This week, we all know what that moment was… the skinny dipping.

Let’s start the discussion. It’s the only one worth having from this episode… (please, do we care that the girls had a baseball themed date,  or that Ben made out with Nicki in his first one on one, or that Elyse didnt get a rose on her one on one? Not really.)

So the girls go on a group date. Everyone hates group dates, because your ‘alone time’ is minimal, and the rest of the day/night you are forced to chit chat with you competition. Mostly in a bikini or a steamy hot tub. It’s not particularly fun or romantic.

So we all know at this point, you have to make the most fo your ‘time’ with Ben. 2 girls did that. Kacie B, was able to lure him into an emotional conversation about his life and his journey to find love. She got the rose. However, the girl that made the MOST of her time was once again…. model Courtney.

Girl knows what she’s doing. In my opinion, this particular scenario was NOT set up by producers, I think she just ran with the opportunity as it presented itself. As evidence by the fact that Ben, once coerced into de-frocking, tried to hide his ‘parts’ from the camera. Almost like he remembered this would air…on TV, but before that… a team of editors would get to look at his naked rear for hours on the cutting room floor.

So here’s the question. Who do you hate more right now? Ben or Courtney?

Courtney is the wiley one, the one who proposed and concocted the plan in the first place. But, you are hosting a  group date and you scurry off with the ‘hot one’ to go skinney dipping? That’s low.

How do you compete with that? No amount of talking about feelings and love will ever compete with ‘omg! I just saw a model naked!’.

There have been a lot of people walk off the show for ridiculous, petty and even unexplained reasons. But if I was a contestant on this show, it would be over for me right then and there.

At the Rose Ceremony, Emily tries (again) to warn Ben about Courtney. Girl, this guy has seen his wildest fantasy come true… he doesnt care if ‘she’s kind of a weirdo’. Couldnt care less at this point.

But in the end, the limo drove away with Jennifer who was heart broken, of course.

Bachelor Recap: ‘Its all an Act’ Week 2

10 01 2012

Week 2 on The Bachelor is notoriously messed up.

The crazies come out on week 2 and set up the whole season of drama.

Which is why, I was glued to my TV last night, to watch trainwreck after trainwreck start on their collision course.

I think I’ve said this before – Ben is not the Prize on this show. Nor is he really a necessary component. He may or may not find ‘love’, but he is certainly not the “Star” or the real storyline. He is the common thread, and at times, the referee… but not much else. Not to say I dont like Ben, he’s a charming guy with redeeming qualities and fun hair. He also happens to have a really cute sidekick/dog…which makes me like him even more. It’s just that is has become all about the girls and the drama between THEM that is keeping The Bachelor ‘must see’.

Here’s a nutshell recap of last night

The girls are uprooted and sent packing to visit Ben in Sonoma California… incidentally where he lives and where his Winery operates. In upcoming seasons, will we see the girls following the Bachelor to HIS day job… you know, where he’s most comfortable and in his element? Seriously… blatant advertising.

Ben gets his first one-on-one date. He takes Kacie B (doncha hate the initials thing? I do…) on a walking tour of his town, Sonoma tourism 101. “Wouldnt you like to live here?” “I can totally see myself here”. Riveting stuff. Then they share a ‘moment’ watching old family videos at the theatre… awkward date, watching Ben cry over his dead father. ouch.
Anyways, she gets the rose… she’s a nice take-home-to-mom type girl.

Group Date – Ben takes a ton of girls tot he ‘Town Square’ where they audition for parts in a childrens production of a Bachelor Fairytale. These girls should all be good at ‘acting’ – most are models, aspiring actresses or have fake jobs… remember, this show is ‘casted’.
The bigger drama occurred at the after party… obviously, drinks were flowing, bikinis were on, Hot tubs were present. Is it just me or did The Bachelor resurrect the swimming pool girl-on-shoulder wrestling game? Just hit me…

The girls all accuse Blakely of being a slut (among other things), and she fills that role very well. It might be an assigned role, but she seems to really excel at making people uncomfortable, inciting tears and paranoia, and batting her fake eyelashes at Ben shamelessly.

She gets the rose. Such a metaphor for life…am I right ladies?

The final one-on-one was with model Courtney. I think we all ahve a reason to hate on this girl… she’s a model. Liek a real, working model. The producers don’t have to do much to make her unlikable. However, I’m getting a real mix of emotions over this girl – her date with Ben was the best…by far. They took the dog, got in the car and had a picnic in the woods. Very comfortable, very easy… she didnt pose as a person who was comfortable, she just…was. There’s chemistry, but I dont think it hurts that she… is a model.

She gets a rose (surprise, surprise)

At the Rose ceremony… the Crazies implode.

Blakely runs crying in a corner behind luggage. NY Blogger crawls into bed and weeps. There are girls crying everywhere. Ben acts like a babysitter playing hide and seek with 7 yer olds… going room by room to console sobbing contestants. It was hysterical!

Easier just to report on who DIDNT get a rose, and it was the over emotional blogger from NY (girl had a rough night…) and another blonde.

If you stay long enough… you get a ‘role’ to fill. One can only applaude the girls who hit the high notes and add major drama to our monday nights!

The Bachelor Premiere : Season 16

3 01 2012

Gather round Bachelor fansBen is back as The Bachelor and the 16th season premiered last night.

Remember when The Bachelor started? It was a hunky, successful perfect mold of a man. There have been many iterations and version of ‘the Bachelor’ image… we’ve seen tall dark and handsom, we’ve seen gorgeous blondes, we’ve had Italian princes, we’ve had pilots and gym rats… and now, we have California floppy, long haired, soft spoken, heart broken Ben.

I dont want to get into a discussion about whether Ben will be a ‘good’ Bachelor… it doest much matter. It’s the format that works, not the prize. But this new ‘bachelor image’ is an odd choice. It seems as though the production crew is fully aware of this peculiar situation… average guy meets 25 ’10’s’ and dictates their future in pageant fashion.

It’s ALL about the girls.

Ben isnt doing alot of heavy lifting… he doesnt have the gravitas nor the personality for it. The girls are carrying every scene, the girls are creating all the drama (surprise surprise) the girls are the focal point of every shot. Ben’s screen time is minimal… beacuse it is inconsequential.

So last night, Ben met his 25 carefully selected (cast) women. The usual suspects show up, models, actors, executive assistants, sales reps, ‘in fashion’, pesonal trainers, dental hygenists… these are people who have the means to take this much time off, dont have an important job to keep them there, or view this as a better opportunity for career movement. (There are 7 model/actress/pageant girls… ’nuff said)

Then there are the crazies… you know who I mean. The Canadian with the last name ‘Bacon’, the game hunter, the ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ love blogger, the southern belles, the perky british world traveler, the girl who brought her grandma, the girl wearing the kentucky derby hat, the girl who walked past Ben without saying a word (insert porn music), and the lesbians.

There was drama as soon as the girls arrived. of course. We didnt wait months post Bachelor Pad for slow ramp up to tears and bickering. No no no… The Bachelor delivers. Not that Ben has anything to do with it.

The love Blogger thinks the lesbians hate her. The girls resent the ‘Grandma’ card and horse gimmick. There is a whole lot of alcohol being poured… tears, hugging, awkward conversations.

The First Impression Rose was given to Lindzi the horseback rider from Seattle. This is an ever-important rose.. this person always seems to be a strong contender for the long haul in this ‘competition’… so watch out for this girl.

The rose ceremony was built up more than most seasons… I guess after 16 seasons, the producers have realized that since we havent formed an opinion on any of the girls, nor do we remember any of their names or backstories – they have to create reasons for us to care about the first cuts.

The one main storyline – the lesbian vs the blogger – proved to be enough to built some suspense for the Rose Ceremony. The blogger showed up late after crying in the bathroom, and both the lesbians made it through to the next round. So did the Blogger…

It’s probably easier to say who DIDNT make the cut… Canadian Bacon, The Brit, one of the actresses, and 3 others. It really doesnt matter… however, each girl probably got just as much air time as Ben in this episode, so that should fill their 15 minutes of fame.

Thoughts? Any early favourites?

Bachelor Finale : March 14

14 03 2011

Big night for Bachelor fans. The biggest night… Bachelor Finale night.

That’s right…it’s final decision time. No more giving out roses, no more group dates, no more hot tub parties and cocktail soirees.

But I won’t prolong this. Brad chose Emily.

He chose the real grown up relationship over the sexy, fun relationship (and trust fund).

It will be interesting to see if this lasts. I truly hope it does. I was an Emily-fan from day one, and her story broke my heart…she is genuine and classy, and I wonder if she doesnt deserve more. But what do I know? Brad may be just as sincere and ready to man-up as he preaches. Like I said, I seriously hope so… and if not, US magazine is ready to run the story.

Cheers to the happy, ‘very real’, couple.


The Bachelor: Women Tell All

7 03 2011

Still waiting for the Women to Tell All.

The women say the SAME thing every season. This process is emotionally draining. Real connections are made. Real hearts are broken. I learned so much from this experience. The cliches are too many to count.

I don’t know what I expect from this show, explainations arent really necessary. We all know this show is ‘created’ for monday night drama. I can automatically assume the ‘crazy girls’ are fabricated in many respects, and that the drama in the house is a product of too much time spent in a house with over 20 women. Brad has little to do with that. He’s just the bait and hook. The prize. He could just as easily be money or a mirrorball trophy.

What I DID learn tonight, was that Michelle is much nicer and unassuming woman than I ever expected. In fact, most girls made themselves look worse tonight… where asMichelle redeemed herself a bit. I get her now. She was a sarcastic oddity in a house of mostly childish girls.

Big news of the night was the may-jor makeover Ashley showed up with tonight. Raven Brown locks, short fringe, apple red lips, and girl’s been hittin’ the gym. It was the smokin’ hot revenge makeover… and Brad fell totally victim.

It has been widely speculated that Ashley will take the reigns in the next season as the Bachelorette. Could that be the reason for the visual upgrading? probably.

So next week is the finale, where Brad has promised that he will find and propose to his wife. Will it be Emily, or Chantel? Who’s the lucky lady, and who will end up on next year’s Bachelor Pad?

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