DWTS Season 14: Rock Week

10 04 2012

It was ‘fake’ rock night on DWTS last night.

Fake rockers KISS set the tone, with Fake rock decor and even Faker rock music as the backdrop.

It’s like a new genre emerged… Kitsch Rock.

Even though we are about a month into the DWTS season, this was by far the worst perforamance show thus far. There were outright mess ups, awkward mishaps, and good old fashioned sloppy dances. The judges shouldve put away their 10 and 9 paddles because the MOST anyone shouldve received was an 8. But these are celebrities, they need to be reassured every 5 seconds that they are ‘enough’ and ‘special’.

Sherry Shepherd kicked it off with a dark tango that lacked emotion. She was going for intense and brooding, but she just looked bored. I think she was surprised to hear that… it will beinteresting to see how well she takes real criticism. Straight 7’s across the board.

Katherine Jenkins fruitlessly went with mark to an MMA fighting gym to prepare for her dance. Right. Good idea. Anyone else finding the ‘field trips’ are getting really tiresome? Anyways, the only thing she pulled off with any conviction was her outfit. Girl can rock a spandex unitard better than anyone else in the competition. Straight 8’s.

Jaleel White (Urkel) tried to Move like Jagger… but he didnt know who he was. Um. Youtube it. In the same way half of America had to Google your name. Since his first dance he’s been entertaining, but mediocre at best.

Melissa Gilbert apparently was rushed tot he hospital after this dance with an injury. I didnt see anything that wouldve provoked an injury in her dancing, in my opinion, it was flat and she had some unsure moments (which Maks took the blme for…)

Donald Driver – looked too much like a GI Joe or Jacked up Ken doll to be taken seriously. Yes, we women-folk like to see some eye candy, but his upper body was borderline creepy… there were muscles poking out I didnt even know existed. His dancing, was just OK – they made a big deal about how athletes love the Paso, but maybe it’s because they finally get to show their ‘assets’.

Gladys KNight danced to bohemian Rhapsody… why?! Who made THAT musical decision?! It was a horror show, that song is one of the greatest of all time, but Freddy Mercury never intended someone to try and win a dance competition with it. The judges were right… it was the herky-jerky tryring to find the ‘beats’ that made the dance unsuccessful.

William Levy is starting to wear out his initial welcome. He has made some glaring mistakes in all of his dances, non bigger than last night. He was mistepping after mistepping all the way through. Cheryl’s really got to work on his memorization of the steps and execution.

Roshon (let me be frank, he looks like Gumby…no?) took on a more graceful dance, and his lanky long limbs should be a quality, but I find it off putting. He’s not ‘manly’ in his stature, in his personality, in his movement… not a criticism, but why must ABC/Disney continue to foist their young stars in shows that are clearly not meant for them. This show is for wash up D listers!

Maria – another in a long line of injured, but persevering dance stars. Do we believe that Maria has a broken foot? I dont know… I’m a sceptic, so I tend to believe the doctors are actors too. The judges really seemed to give her some leaniance in their scoring this week – she pretty much won the night, but I don’t think she was the best she’s ever been.

Gavin gets better week after week. This week, he did it again. He took control, he didnt look like a scared kitten, or a 13 year old at his first dance… he was leagues above where we’ve seen him before. I think that should be applauded and I think he’s exactly what we need to see on this show. A star, removing themselves from their comfort zone and learning a new talent.



DWTS: Season 14 Week 2

27 03 2012

Round 2 on DWTS – could week 2 top week 1?

I think…. it did!

I’ve had this conversation with anyone who’ll listen. This show isnt just a ‘fun thing’ to do between gigs for these celebrities. It has launched careers, movie deals, magazine covers, hosting jobs… it’s a cash cow for all involved, if they play it right. If you want it, you gotta take it starting week 1. It’s taken 14 seasons for the ‘Stars’ to realize that, and it’s showing VERY early on.

It hardly matters WHO you are – the show has evolved from the NAME to the GAME.

There are a few key factors – you’ll need at least one or two to win this competition:

1. A good partner – Derek, Maks, Mark have statistically won the most trophies. Cheryl and Julianne have won the most for the men.

2. A good attitude in practice – no one likes to see a prima donna celebrity NOT working their tails off in practice. We want to see sweat, ugly hair, and tears. lots of tears.

3. A story – We love a good backstory – so make sure you tell it BEFORE you get axed.

4. The Moves – because most celebs have mastered the ‘tricks’, it comes down to dance ability. A good dance will be rewarded…

So let’s get to the dancing shall we?

Katherine Jenkins – Remember her? She’s the blonde Brit (don’t they have their own version of this show?) I have nothing against her, I just feel like within the current roster, she’s a bit of a head scratcher. Not that it matters, her PR team is genius because she is knocking the SOCKS off this competition in the early weeks! She was strong last week, and this week she absolutely nailed her jive… maybe it was in small part her partner, the showman Mark or the tiny tassled dress giving the illusion of movement… but this girl can dance, and her career might’ve just hit an American launching pad.

Roshon – is a Jonas Brother, except about 3 years too late. He’s just a bit ‘too much’ for me. Too much Disney Factory personality and look. But because he has youth on his side, he’s got the body and the energy to take on high tempo dances… like the quickstep. This was a good dance for him, it will be interesting to see if he can mature and scale it down for a Viennese waltz in later weeks.

Maria Menenous – continues to polarize herself. She could be the’ hot n sexy young thing’… but then she opens her mouth and she’s looses her ‘sex appeal’. Let’s not even begin to talk about her laugh. *shudder*. She would be considered a front runner in this competition because she has the RIGHT partner, the RIGHT body (to fit into any sequin bra) and she’s GAME. Their performance was probably my favourite of the night – it had a Bonnie and Clyde theme and Derek’s creative fingerprints all over it.

Jaleel White (Urkel) – another good routine, probably not as sharp and surprising as his first. But he’s got massive potential if he lets his personality shine and attacks dances like he did week 1. He’s still a favourite…

Sherri Shepherd- has great chemistry with Val, she couldnt have gotten a better partner for this experience. She is LOVING this…can you tell? It’s infectious, it’s fun to watch and she represents alot of demographics who watch and vote on thsi show. Her dance last night was great, she kept great pace and didnt let her ‘thickness’ hold her back from any tricks and kicks. You know, she will be the first on People magazine talking about her ‘dance diet’. it’s coming.

William Levy – Has a lot of fans for someone I’ve never heard of. HE will be a contender, Cheryls got a good one this year. This week, he was working on his form, which probably led to a slightly wooden performance overall. However, he aint going anywhere, his scores are great and Cheryl promised he’d take off more clothing.

Jack Wagner – overdanced it. Probably trying to ompensate for the fact taht he’s irrelevant and has no real shot at winning in this competition. That may sound hardsh, but t’s true. He’s not good enough, nor ‘famous’ enough nor personable enough.

Donald driver – might turn into a sparkplug dancer… he’s quick to a fault at times, he lacks precision and hold, but he’s got the fire in his belly to make it happen. I can see him getting batter, even in week 2, so I think he’ll be a contender in this show.

Gladys Knight – Is a revelation. She has poise, she has elegance, but she also has sass, determination and and boatloads of  ‘can do’. She has nailed 2 dances in a row, last night was even better than her first week. She might also be the biggest ‘name’ on the show…doesnt hurt.

Gavin Degraw – Closely rivals Gladys Knight for the biggest ‘Name’ ont he show… but he has the edge in relevance. He has a number 1 record in the country right now, and he’s on DWTS?!?! It still boggles my mind. The guy doesnt need it, which might be a reason he wont win. He’s trying, he’s giving it a shot… but he doesnt NEED this in the same way Melissa Gilbert needs this. Are you with me? ANyways, he’s been mediocre, but he is a true NON dancer and there’s something charming about watching a kitten learn to walk…right?

Martina Navritilova – was hard to watch last night. It was a slow, painful, agonizing death march… once she went off the rails (I think it was the second or thrird beat) she was finished. There’s one every season, a person who completely forgets everything from a weeks worht of practice, and it’s pure live TV terror. I feel bad for her, but I think she’s on the chopping block tonight. As much as good dancing should be rewarded, bad dancing should be punished.

Melissa Gilbert – has resorted to good ole fashioned Hollywood name dropping. She used to date Billy Idol in the 80’s. That’s low. Yah? Well looks at the hosts of waitresses and Z-list models George Clooney has dated… it aint sayin’ much. Whats lower? Saying dancing is harder than childbirth.  Well, you cant fault her for the amount of ‘try’ she puts into this… but her scores are bottom dwelling at best.


In this the first week of elimination, I believe the axe falls on Martina or Jack.



DWTS Season 14 Premiere

20 03 2012

The first episode of DWTS Season 14 kicked off rather impressively last night!


Usually the premiere is more about ‘potential’ and setting up the backstories we’ll follow all season. This season, it felt a little bit different. There wasnt quite as much emphasis on the Celebrity back story, as there was on executing a good first dance. Don’tfret… the sob stories, the metaphors, the weight loss cover stories… it’ll all come. But I was pleased with the pace and the week 1 talent that stormed the stage.

Celebrities are getting up for this now. It’s a chance at rejuvenating and recessitating a feldgling careeer. It’s a ‘role’ that is campaigned for shamelessly behind the scenes. It is a HUGE paycheque depending on the success of the Star. And those two factors are driving the Celebs to compete.

ut everyone has to start somewhere…

let’s get to the week 1 performances shall we?

We start with Maria Menounos who, has somehow acclaimed notoriety and a house bigger than yours despite a terrible and paralyzing affliction… her laugh. Yeah, it’s bad. Google it. However, she makes up for it with some charisma, a killer ‘bod’ (which she gets because she’s ‘sporty’) and the Ace in the hole… Derek and his army of grandmothers who will vote for him no matter WHO he gets as a partner. She was good. She’ll get better, and she’s easy to throw around and dance around.

Next Jack Wagner – who thinks very highly of himself and his career. I had to Google him and I’m still a little foggy on his ‘Star’ status. I would say at this point, his partner might be more of a celebrity than he is… that’s what happens when you’re on a hit show 14 seasons running. Anyways, he didnt blow me out fo the water, or make me a fan… but apparently his entire fan club was at the show last night.

Donald Driver, Greenbay Packer receiver – the guy’s got GREAT legs… he showed them off  in practice. I’d kill for those calves. His dancing was a bit frenetic at times, it think the excitement of the lights, the audience and the pace of the dance was a bit overwhelming. But he has potential – he’s definitely got the character, the smile and the atheticism to go far.

Gavin Degraw might be one of the biggest names on t he show this season… but his unassuming personality, and quiet wit might get overshadowed by some of the larger spotlight huggers clawing at a career rebirth. His dancing was exactly what you would expect for a ‘week 1’. He was a bit stiff, a bit slow… but very eager to learn and get better. Thats what you need to make it on this show… plus, he’s in good hands with Karina.

Obligatory Disney Star. They all look like poor boy versions of Jonas brothers to me. Roshon is young, toothy and already has ‘the moves’. I don’t know that his particular fan base watches THIS show, so he’ll have to have a break out performance quickly. He was pretty on point last night, but he used a lot more Michael Jackson/Usher moves than traditional cha cha . 

Anyone else get the idea that Sherri Shepherd has been campaigning for this job for a LONG time? She’s SO happy to be on this show, and that’s something I can connect with. Imagine getting teh role of a lifetime on your favourite show? She has a true edge because the same audience that watches The View, watches this show. She will be able to boost The Views ratings with her ‘insiders’ perspective and she’s a figure a huge auudience in a certain demographic see EVERYDAY at 11am. She delivered, because her first dance was great…

Melissa Gilbert,  who my mother knew right away as Little House on the Prairie girl. I knew her as the woman with the drug problem on Oprah. Funny, she never mentioned that in her intro. She’s very lucky to get Maks, but I forsee a lot of bickering as the competition moves onward. Does she have a big enough Star to shine? Is this her career comeback? Watch for her on People if she makes it much further. I get that vibe from her.

the Mexican Brad Pitt. Ooh lala. I see he brought a lot of fans with him. He and Cheryl are going to be a force to be reckoned with for a long time in this competition. His good looks, accent and latin american community of fans will propel him. He had a good first dance, all he really needs to do is wiggle his hips for an audience reaction… let’s see how well he does with tricky technique in coming weeks.

Tennis champ Martina Navratilova has a dancefloor at her home? Really? That’s what it looked like. I also noticed she had American flags hanging in the background of anywhere the camera landed. It’s slight, but you know the intent. She’s not ‘American’ and Foreigners do NOT do well on this show. I’m not playing the race card… it’s just a fact, and she knows it. No, she did not look comfrotable in that dress even though yes, she does still have a bulging forcep muscle! Unfortunately for her, she’s not the only athlete on the show, and she happens to be in the ‘older’ crowd.

Katherine Jenkins  –  who? Right. She’s a semi famous Brit (they LOVE those on this show!). They couldnt get Adele, so they got her. She’s lovely. She’s blonde, fit and has an accent. She also dances with Mark ballas who can make ANYONE look ‘cracking’. She received very high scores for a well executed foxtrot.

Redefining the role of ‘token old legend’  Gladys Knight took the stage and the audience by storm! She moves extremely well, has charm and personality for days and nothing to lose. Her career doesnt hinge on winning or losing. She’s here simply to edify her own interests and satisfaction. She may not win, but she wont be a shrinking, shriveling old violet that withers and lets age become an issue.

The final dance was performed by Jaleel White- AKA Urkel! One of the most classic TV characters of my generation. I was geeking out at the chance to see him again. THIS guy is exactly the right ft for this show. A guy who needs a career jumpstart after years of laying low, in the shadow of his iconic character. And he could be a contender! He was fantastic this week, and its only week 1! I  am so pleased to see him blossom into a starpping young man and a heck of a good dancer.





DWTS Monday: Week 7

1 11 2011

Halloween week on DWTS is usuallu one of my favourite weeks.

The dancers are more advanced, so they feel the freedom to be more creative… and they have an excuse to dress up MORE than usual. That goes for the production team that has been given a serious raise this year, and really hits it out of the park with their set dressings and costuming this season.

I see Brooke Burke (Charvet) pulled out her vamp costume she’s been using since 1991. Honestly, with dress up 100% or don’t dress up at all. Like Tom.

This mustve been a tough night for Tom Bergeron, as the show aired mere hours after the news of Kim Kardashians 3 month long, 10 million dollar marriage ended. You KNOW he was just itching like crazy to say something snarky, but I’m sure he was givent the ‘too soon’ talk beforehand.

Let’s get to the dancing shall we?

I’ll start with Rob Kardashian – obviously, his entire brood wasnt there to cheer him on tonight. Only his less famous sister and his ‘kinda’ Dad who received WAY less camera time than usually allotted to the Family. I guess they had other things on their minds. Anyhow, Rob danced a tango to The Addams Family, and apparantly found a resemblance to his own Family. A stretch, but ok. I’ve told you how much him being on this show annoys me, I can’t take him seriously because I find him extremely insincere. However, if you keep around a dancer for 7 weeks, there will be exponential growth in abilities. It’s science. He was bound to have a really good week, and this was it. He was one of the dances of the night…. and how nice of Kim to help lil bro out by making her earth shattering announcement on voting day.

Next, Nancy Grace. Yikes. It is shocking to see such bad dancers still around…. but it goes to show that there are the ‘cream of the crop’, there are the ‘have potentials’ and then there are the leftovers. I don’t mean to be offensive, I’m simply saying that even with Nanacy Grace sticking around for 7 weeks, she has not really improved dramatically… nor has she really ever stepped out of her initial ranking as a perrennial bottom dweller. She’ll be there again this week, not surprisingly.

then there’s Hope Solo. I wouldve put her in the ‘Potentials’ category as an athlete, dancing with Maks, pretty face, good body. Here’s the thing, she’s never proved anything and she’s never had a ‘cream of the crop’ week. Last week, Maks stood up for her because i’m sure it is frustrating to have someone with potential, never reach it. This week, in my personal opinion her dancing digressed again. She reads like a book, every mistake she makes her face rats her out right away. She lacks performance, she lacks technique and she is awkward to watch. She didnt get the same whipping post reaction from the judges, which was a bit cowardly… but understandable.

Ricki Lake continues to be a strong contender for the win – what’s the deal with Derek Hough? What does HE do to get stellar performances from his partners? Mind you, he has been very lucky with his partners in the past… he rarely gets a ‘dud’. Ricki has eprsonality, she has talent and she was in Hairspray…. she’s got the motion of the ocean. This week, she found out that she has a pinched nerve, the doctor make sit sound like she could paralyzed if she coninues… but of course, she perseveres! Another great dance this week from Ricki, she’s making the race tough…

for someone like JR Martinez, who really has been the frontrunner from the start. The problem with always being at the top of the leaderboard, is that at some point you arent going to WOW people as much as the previous week,  and it will result in criticism. This was not JR’s best performance, but it certainly was not a bad performance. It’s all about timing and peaking at the right points in the competition – JR might not have eaked at the right time, but if he can bounce back next week… he’ll be back on track.

David Arquette is an example of someone peaking at the right time. He was slow to progress, but now that he’s ‘got it’, he’s really starting to pull out great performances to go with his excelling technique. This week, he lead off the show with a ‘bang’ literally, as a magician. He reminded me of a Snidely Whiplash character, and he totally sold me. Yes, he’s a goof, he’s eccentric… they probably have a hard time putting together a video package for him every week. But he is sincere, he is entertaining and I think he’s producing quality dances week after week.


I’m hoping for Hope or Nancy to go home tonight… however, we could have a ‘scare’ if one of the frontrunners doesnt get enough support.

DWTS Monday: Week 6

25 10 2011

If DWTS doesn’t MAKE your monday night… I don’t know what to tell ya.

I am absolutely loving this show this season, and yes… I agree with the rest of the world that Monday is a tough pill to swallow… but I also like to believe that network TV is doing it’s part to save the night for us.

Yes, it was another DWTS highlight  last night!

There is finally GREAT dancing, there is off-stage drama, there are major freak outs, major diva moments, major flops and a Broadway group number.

Let’s start with the individual dances:

Rob Kardashian – is getting better. I will admit it. He’s not as difficult to watch as he once was… but that should be a given considering that’s the ONLY thing he does all week. However, he has this unexplanable stunted movement that is obvious in dances that are meant to have continuous motion. He doesnt connect his movement properly… and that’s what gives him an awkward quality. he may still have a chance to ‘break out’ because there are worse dancers remaining. I really wish he wouldnt bring his whole family to the show – they are the loudest, most obnoxious camera whores of all time.

David Arquette has been getting better and better, but this week had a bit of a slip in progress. He wasnt bad, he has great personality and his movement is agile and refined. However, he was out of sync with his partner throughout the dance, so it seemed slightly ‘off’ for me. He is one that needs a true break out dance, maybe it’ll come next week if he sticks around.

Nancy Grace is not doing herself any favours by being a B***ch in rehearsals and revealing her ice queen self to the voting public. I like seeing tough women on judge shows… but I don’t like seeing the same ‘toughness’ while learning to dance to Spamalot. I mean seriously. Time and a place Nancy. I still dont understand why she can’t seem to smile when she dances, ‘Always look ont he Bright Side of Life’ has to be one of the only songs that it is IMPOSSIBLE not to smile when listening to it… she has an uncanny ability to ‘stone face’ any dance.

Hope Solo had arguably the most talked about dance in DWTS history after last night. Not becasue it was good, and not because it was a disaster, but because it was the perfect storm. Her video package showed her frustration at never getting good scores… her dance, from step 1, was not going to get her better scores. She was forcing ‘sexy’ on us like a $2 hooker, and her motion was not fluid throughout the piece. So the judges knew they had a tough job in giving her criticism. But they did. And Maks had a hissy fit on Len… telling him it was time he left the business. Snap!

I’m not going to dwell… if Maks didnt get emotionally involved, he would look at the dance in a totally different light. It was not good. Period.

Chaz Bono is a dancing disaster. What makes it worse, is pretending that somehow he will get better with ‘hard work and dedication’. He won’t. I do feel bad for Lacy, because it reflects on her if after 6 weeks… her dancer is still no better than week 1. I’m not even going to talk about the dance, it was the same as every other Chaz dance…. shuffle left and right, arms up at the end, bad scores.

JR Martinez made my night. Yes, thank you for pointing it out Len… THIS is the real reason we watch this show. To see people become great at dancing. And he is great at dancing! His movement is professional, his charisma is untouchable in this competition and his attitude is winning. He is in his own league (wih the exception of perhaps Ricki…) and is my favourite person to watch hit the stage.

Ricki Lake received a standing ovation and another leaderboarding leading score (tied with JR) for another great performance. As I was watching, it hit me once again the benefits of having a g reat partner. Derek sells everything, Derek choreographs fantastic crowd-pleasers and he is a spark plug to those who can rise to the occasion. Ricki is a perfect partner for Derek and that’s why she has risen to the top in this competition.

The group number was fantastic, and it really spotlights the true dancers from the stragglers.


DWTS Monday: Week 5

18 10 2011

It’s DWTS Week 5… and last night was a classic Week 5.

This is about the time when the cream REALLY starts to rise to the top, and the bottom dwellers stick out like sore thumbs.

Last night, the true contenders made an impact, and the others… were obvious. It was also 80’s night, so it gave producers an excuse to go gaudy with the decor, dress Brooke Burke up in shoulder pads and sequins, and bring in The Bangles as the performers. 80’s prom.

Let’s get to the dancing….. the dirty dirty dancing. Sorry.

Rob Kardashian is really starting to get to me, not that his personality should have anything to do with my critique of his dancing…. right? He’s a guy with no redeeming qualities… I’m sorry, beating your sister at DWTS is NOT a career accomplishment. But what really bugs me, is that I see absolutely NO passion for life, which translates into his loafish dancing. The judges aren’t as hard on him as they are on JR or others, because there’s no point. He doesnt really care. That’s my opinion.

Nancy Grace has one intensity level… high. However, I think that she was able to tone it down quite a bit last night for her ‘fun’ routine. Showing Nancy having a good time, being fancy-free and frolicking is exactly what she needs to stick around any longer… not sure if it’s too late for her, but this was, in my opinion, her best dance.

Hope had a lot of potential coming into this competition. SHe’s an athelete, she’s paried with maks, she’s got the body and the determination. But there is something NOT clicking with her and her dancing. She isnt connecting, she isnt really improving, and she can’t seem to infuse ANY personality into her performances. I get it, she’s not an actress, but honey… it doesnt take a great actress to smile every once and a while. But it’s her lack of improvement that bothers me…. she’s had pretty much the same scores every week.

Carson is nothing if not entertaining. However, as Carrie Ann said… it’s week 5. An audience can only watch ‘folly’ for so long before it becomes tiresome. Carson basically does the same routine every week, but with a differnt costume/outfit. He lacks grace, he lacks technique, he lacks dexterity. But he is having a great time, and showing it. Don’t worry, he’s not going to win… give him one or two more weeks at the most.

David’s star and talent are on the rise. First of all, his body is insanity. Pure Fight Club insanity. There is nothing sexier than seeing a man take charge on the dancefloor, and he is starting to take the lead and be ‘the man’. Obviously, the ulterier motive for him on thsi show is redemption… and it’s working. He is becoming a favourite, and people are forgetting about the goofy alcoholic married to a ‘Friend’ that he once was. His performance was great, even better, his determination is palapable.

Chaz is frustrating to me. This is a person who, if he was a soap star, wouldve been gone week 1 or 2. Now it’s week 5, and Cher was at the last dance…. so can we please all agree that it’s time for Chaz to go? He never doesn more than a shuffle or a slide step in any of his dances, and I don’t really see a mirrorball trophy in his future. He’s not a dancer, and never will be… so I think he has made his point, I think DWTS got their ‘storyline’ for the season… let’s reward dancers for their skill.

JR has latin roots, and he channeled them ALL in this dance. His hips were shakin’, body was groovin’… he found HIS dance! He also got the best lines of the night from Bruno and great scores, once again becoming the leaderboard topper! Yes, this was the dance of the night by a country mile, and I’m so glad that the judges rewarded him for his tenacity and wild abandon on this dance.

Ricki was the leader last week by a slim margin, this week she fell all the way down to 4th spot with her foxtrot. Yikes, quite a tumble. Not tha tit matters, she’s still a contender. Actually this shouldve been a great week for her, she was in Hairspray in the 80’s and could have done a more ‘Hairspray inspired’ dance to remind people of the nostalgic whimsy of that show. heck, even John Waters showed up (creepiest man in Hollywood… by far.) They can’t ALL be homeruns.


DWTS Monday: Week 4

11 10 2011

Things are finally starting to heat up on DWTS, and last night was probably the most interesting week of the competition to date.

Not because Cher was there.

Not because 2 members of the Kardashians were there.

and not even because we saw the return of ‘Mergatroyd’!

because it was everything DWTS strives to be…. glamour, glitz, fun, entertainment, bright lights, bright personalities, live music, public humiliation, personal triumph… Hollywood.

It was all there last night.

The theme was appropriately Hollywood Music scores… which gave the production crew an excuse to jack up the glitz-factor, add musicians tot he ever expanding stage and allow ‘gimmicks’ for dramatic effect.

So let’s get to the dancing, shall we?

Chynna Phillips: trainwreck of epic proportions. Hard to watch, when the wheels completely come off a performance that has taken HOURS to perfect all week. It happens, yes. But it could be her ‘last mistake’ on this show. Normally, I would say ‘her fans will pick her up’, normally massive ‘mistakes’ are just stroylines of redemption for the next week… however, in this case, i’m not sure.

Nancy Grace: needs to work on her expressions. She has one. ONE. And she uses it as her ‘intense,serious about this dance, attacking the performance’ look, but it aint working anymore. She could be in trouble tonight, her dancing isnt great, but her connection to the audience is the real downfall. Even is her dancing improves, she will not gain fans with her icy glare.

Rob Kadashian: What I hate about ‘Stars’ is their massive ego. And Rob Kardashian has the motherload of egos. Yet, the enablers around him keep giving him ammo… ‘this dance requires you to be more arrogant’. Really, this guy needs to work on arrogance? They pretend that the role ‘fits’ and they can ‘connect’ to it… but only if it isnt self effacing. ‘I can relate to Superman, because he is quiet and nerdy… and i’m quiet (but not nerdy)’. His dancing is certainly improving week by week, I just can’t get over his personality, and that aint changing.

Hope SOlo: Good move. She had been playing her sexy soccer player card too often, this week… she danced to a cute and cuddly Toy Story song that really softened her image. The dance was fairly memorable, and she is showing versatility… I don’t predict her to be the winner, but she is a solid contender at this stage of the game. Let’s see what she falls back to next week…

David Arquette: As Indiana Jones… perfection. This was HIS role, he did very well with the dance and the character. MUCH better than last week, and hopefully he can conteinue to grow and build on this successs. Here’s a guy embracing the opportunity to get back on the ‘right foot’ and maybe clean up his public image in the process…. that’s exactly what this show is for!

JR Martinez: Skyrocketed up the leaderboard too fast… because now, he is under the microscope more than ever, and cannot ‘top’ himself every week. I actaully really enjoyed his Pink Panther routine, I thought he looked like a pro and added some light hearted personality to it. The judges, however, didnt agree. I don’t know what to say, they put pressure on the leaders early, likely because they know they’ll be around for awhile.

Carson Kressly: o….m….g. It’s Johnny Depp’s gay cousin. Who says you can’t swashbuckle in sequins? Carson is playing up his role on this show to perfection. Here’s a guy who does NOT fit the mold, so he puts rhinestones all over it instead. He is the light on this show… don’t worry, he won’t win, but he’ll provide a few more ‘talked about moments’ than someone like Kristen Cavallari.

Ricki Lake: Theres a formula to this show, if you havent noticed. The struggle and then the triumph. The Struggle? Ricki wanted to quit the dance was so hard. The Triumph? She gets the first 10’s of the season! She is now the frontrunner…and she really is one to watch. Remember, she got the People magazine cover, she has personality, she’s likable, she has Derek Hough and she is ‘a viable star’.

Chaz Bono: I’m convinced Chaz didnt go home last week because his mother was going to be in the audience this week. I am also convinced that the songs and themes for their performances are predetermined…. Rocky was the ‘perfect fit’ for Chaz’s journey. Remember? Struggle and triumph. The struggle? Chaz’s physical state. The Triumph? Running up a flight of stairs at the end of the performance, infront of  his overwhelmed mother in the audience. His dancing is not good. But he,  unlike Kristen, has a compelling backstory (and super famous mother) that will carry him further than his talent should take him.


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