Bachelorette Monday…

12 07 2010

Didjya miss me?

Anyone…?… Bueller?

well, I’m back – and even though I was miles away, I was still able to find the a)channel in a very confusing tv guide  and b) the time after very long days of vacation gallavanting, to watch the “special” Bachelorette with added (cherry on top) Break-up exclusive conversation.

There is TOO much to say, and I’m sure it’s already been said. Is there really a person to ‘side’ with? We ALL hated Vienna on the show, we all HATED the decision, we all WANT to say I told you so…but all of a sudden, Jake is not that likable. Anyone else see the comparison between this interview and the Tom Cruise/Matt Lauer interview a few years back? The intensity in Jakes’s eyes was almost… Scientologist. Sorry. I’m sure there are normal Scientologists that dont overreact, make up words and shoot lasers in rage from their eyes.

Anyways…it’s over and done with…the magazine covers are now a week old and outdated. Let’s hope neither of them extend this exposure-whoring any longer…I just dont think I can care much less. It was probably the most awkward 45 minutes of TV I’ve ever sat through (and let’s face it, I’ve seen alot of Paula Abdul over the years…) and therefore, it made for some great post-mountain climbing entertainment.. Sad. I know.

So Tonight…Ali gets a FULL 2-hours to herself. She got seriously gypped last week…no one was watching for her, obviously. Sources tell me she wastes alot of people’s time in the end…but I’m not going to divulge anything more than that.

Ali goes on hometown dates tonight, undenyably my favourite episodes of every season- I love watching families embarass their fame-mongering sons/daughters in front of a super hot suitor!

and there’s a serious bombshell coming…perhaps not this week, but it’s coming. You’ll know what I mean when it happens.

Tune in for pure, uninterupted Bachelorette tonight 8pm, City/ABC.


Bachelor news

22 06 2010

You’ve heard it by now…

Jake and Vienna are no more.


Why is the Bachelor working within totally different parametres than the rest of the world? The working average/ratio of success is extremely low (1 or 2 of like 19) – in every way that you look at this…it’s NOT a success. It’s NOT a show where people “find love”…it’s NOT the last resort and the sure-fire way to get a ring in 3 months. Yet, the show still operates under this guise. The assumption that grouping random strangers with fake tans and a gym obsession in one mansion in LA will ultimately produce…love.

Ridiculous…and this is just another example. Jake and Vienna were characters in their own reality show…that’s it. It extended into a short stint on Dancing with the Stars and a few magazine covers for the the bewitching Vienna.

Any other show, would see this as a means to an end..obviously, something isnt working. If Extreme Home Makeover continually had people lose their over-the-top home to creditors, or continually had people live int he home and hate it after a few months….the show would change. right? On Survivor, if contestants got part-way through and started dropping like flies, or quitting…they would adjust? Just saying…why is this show any different?

Here’s the key… get your man and LEAVE. get out of the spotlight, never to be seen or heard from again…except on manditory bachelor reunions/specials.

Or…try NOT going the dramatic route, and pick the GOOD GIRL! Tenley…think SHE wouldve left you? Highly doubt it, you’d be married with children by now. But…probably not famous. That’s the toss up isnt it?

Now, how long before  Jake tries to join the Bachelor Pad cast?

DWTS results

27 04 2010

An hour of this is faaaar too long.

I was vague in my prediction, simply because…it’s way to hard to choose which non-star will go home each week.

Tonight, after some performances, some recapping and some suspensful music… Spoiler alert!!!

Bottom two: Neicy and Jake

Jake the Bachelor milked his 15 minutes over 3 full shows…but was finally given the boot.

Next for Jake? he wants to act. I’m serious…his words, not mine.

Monday TV Night

29 03 2010

Who am I kidding…it’s DWTS Monday– it OWNS the night!

Since no one got the ‘heave ho” last week, ALL the ‘stars’ are back to dance for our viewing pleasure tonight. Yup, you get to see Buzz Aldrin shake it, Kate G fake a personality and Pam An try to keep it all in.

Tonight, dancers take on either the Jive or the Foxtrot (so, either an exciting  dance or an I-have-time-to-take-a-bathroom-break dance.)

Any guesses as to which REAL stars will be in attendance? I’m betting on Ali showing her mug at some point to promote the new Bachelorette (show she harbours no hard feelings towards Jake), Vienna is now a crowd-staple, Lisa Rinna (and her lips) will most definitly warm a chair, d’ya think Jon Gosselin will ever get a ticket? Throw in a few Jacksons and other ABC faces

Tune in tonight, 8pm ABC

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV NIght.

DWTS Recap

22 03 2010

There were more stars in the audience than on the dancefloor…thus the charm of Dancing with the Vaguely Familiar.

Recap of the Night:

  • Chad O- has a relatively affable personality, and he’s got Cheryl (the little tyrant!). Judges thought he was so-so…and dont be embarassed, I dont know who he is either.
  • Shannon Doherty-not to be confused with Pete Doherty, although I can tell you who I’d rather party with… when did Shannon become so dull? A nice little storyline about making her ailing daddy proud…but that’s been done. I want the Diva back.
  • Neicy Nash- a breath of fresh air on this show. everyone is tucked and airbrushed, but also wound so tightly by their PR reps…Neicy is entertaining! Okay, yah…obviously she’s bigger than the usual model-suspects ont his show…but she also has a big personality. If this girl continues to move well…she could become a fan-fav.
  • Erin Andrews- no mention of the hotel room scandal, whew. Couldve been awkward and she couldve used the pity card early on for votes…instead, she used her quirky sarcasm and ability to keep up with Max. Rumours are already flying about their relationship off-dancefloor…ineveitable, they are both tall and tanned….what do you expect!
  • Jake Pavelka- Anyone else kinda sick of his story splashed all over TV? Cmon ABC…you should be dumping him and plugging the new TV careers of scorned cast offs or even Ali (the new bachelorette). Thats not to say there werent plenty of bachelor (ette) cast members in the crowd…they were everywhere! At any rate…Jake was handsome but awkward, surprise to anyone?
  • Buzz Aldrin- this was more difficult to watch than watching Jake cry over Jillian last season. I felt like i shouldnt be watching it. The man is a legend….and they love throwing every space euphemism in the book at him…but the whole thing was just awkward. i have no more words really…
  • Evan Lyshechuk– anyone else get an elitist vibe from this guy? Is it because his personal costumer is Vera WAng? Is it the 2 pounds of gold around neck? Or is it the snide remark referencing Evgeni Plushenko he made in jest to his Russian partner? It’s going to take a while for me to awrm up to him…but i’m sure he’ll stick around.
  • Nicole SHerzinger– we find her in her natural habitat…the recording studio. wait! the recording studio is where she feels most at home?! I thought the whole point of the PCD was that….they werent selling ‘the vocal’, they were selling a ‘performance’. hmmmm. anyways, of course she cleans up nicely and no surprise, the favourite of the night for the judges. Sigh…
  • Kate Gosselin– I thought she would be better than she was…not that I’m complaining. Any one else hate her MORE with the new hair? at least it was ‘mom hair’ and not ‘mom trying too hard’ hair. Moving on, she was not channeling the sexy in her hair…she was as stiff as her personality. yikes.
  • Aiden Turner- has the sex appeal and the accent…but no natural ability for dance. but he did show up to practice with flowers…swoon. Worst of the night point-wise.
  • Pam Anderson– an enigma. At heart, a good ole fashioned canadian girl, with a sense of humour. But as soon as she’s ‘on’…she turns into the bombshell maven of dirty thoughts. I dont know how much appeal she will have with the family viewing audience (husbands pretending to avert the eyes, wives secretly judging…kids sent to bed.)

Overall, not a bad evening. Brooke was forgettable (but at least she wasnt Samantha), the ‘Stars’ now assemble in the Celebri-quarium instead of backstage, and the judges scores are revealed in a new graphic (ooooo!). Nothing ground breaking, but at leat it’s not another Bachelor behind the scenes special.

I feel used…

1 03 2010

I have my own theories about this season’s Bachelor…if you care, here they are:

Last season, The Bachelor really came into it’s own as THE dramatic drug and watercooler/talk-show fodder. Although it’s not a new show, it has Up and Down seasons…last year was arguably THE MOST DRAMATIC after-the rose cermony, or even most dramatic hour of TV in the past decade. Jason choosing one girl and dumping her LIVE on TV for another girl…you can’t write stuff like that…or can you?

This season, I feel like this story was written from the start. There were many signs… Vienna was the girl in the spotlight the entire time. She was the one they WANTED us to hate. The villain. Tenley was the girl everyone expected…she was jake in female form.

But Jake defended Vienna with his every breath. From the get-go they had a ‘special’ relationship. Contoversial…but great for TV.

We were set up!

Fine. I fell for it…joke’s on me. I’m sure they pegged Vienna from the start, as a girl to promote as the one to root AGAINST…but they couldnt have found a more sentimaental choice than Tenley. Seeing that girl absolutly crest-fallen yet classy upon rejection…it’s almost shameful. But who knows…maybe she’s the real fakey and Vienna is the real heroine. I dunno anymore…

In closing, my theory is that reality TV plays with everyone’s head, and it’s far from ‘real’ TV. So the fact that they chose such a ‘safe’ Bachelor in Jake, meant that they had to create alot of drama to compensate. And Rozelyn couldnt bare that responsibility all by herself.

Congrats Jake…you really are her biggest fan…err…only fan.

Back to Reality…

1 03 2010

literally…back to Reality TV. It’s monday night, which means ABC takes over from NBC’s temporary ratings supremacy, with their dramatic-juggernaut…The Bachelor.

It’s not just any bachelor monday folks… it’s the FINALE, and the After the Final Rose (a post-show wrap up that was put on the MAP last year with the Jason/Molly phenomenon)

How could it get much more emotionally tumultuous this season? With a finale to rival all other finales (at least that’s what they are promising). Listen, we’ve all heard the rumours, and considering Jake has already been doing some damage control about his ‘decisions…” I think it’s safe to say alot of us will be unhappy with the outcome tonight. To be even more ‘elephant in the room’ about it…Vienna (the female Wes)  might just win this thing.

Obviously, this would be very upsetting…and I think it will chip away at Jake’s credibility as a discerning, stand-up guy looking for true love. So look for him to do alot of  explaining on the “after show”…if not dump Vienna altogether. I hear Rozlyn’s available.

The other reason to watch tonight, ABC will also be releasing the names for the newest cast of Dancing with the sorta-Stars! (Wow, Abc is really coming on strong after the Olympics… sucker punch to the groin for NBC. ) I am already hearing a few rumours about this one… first, we know Pamela Anderson will be one of the contestants ‘gracing’ the stage (first time you’ve heard the word grace associated with Pam -And right? sorry…) The other thing I’m hearing, is that last year’s most photog-ed mama has also signed on…No, not the Octo-mom…the other one: Kate (my husband is a fame-monger but I’m not) Goselin. You shouldve been next to me when I read this…I’ve never made such a disgusted sound in my life, not an attractive response. But really, this is jsut such an eye-roller for me. Other rumours include: Tom Selleck, K-Fed and another football ‘star’.

I guess the next question is…who will take over the co-host spot left tragically by whats-her-face. I’m hearing Brooke Burke (boring), Scary Spice (far more entertaining!) or…Ellen (not a chance).

So be watching ABC tonight, that’s really where the party is. Start watching at 8pm tonight, I will have all the post-show reaction and  complete DWTS cast list after the Final (somehow I doubt it) Rose.

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV Night.

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