The Joys of Christmas Programming

10 12 2012

Falalalalala -lala-lala

Tis the Season.

I watched a Home Alone Marathon last night… as a result, I set a marble trap at my door before I went to bed. Just in case. They’ll never outsmart the well-prepared.

The signs of Christmas are all around us – I’m not really referring to Christmas trees, lights or the occasional flurry, I’m much more interested with what the networks have come up with to keep us tuned in this Christmas. They bank on us forgetting how MUCH we hate Christmas specials hosted by marginal celebrities and their even more marginal friends (I’m talking about you Blake Shelton…). They KNOW that we’ll forget how excruciating it is to sit through a Holiday parade… unless it’s muted. Otherwise, you have to listen to the cheese-ball announcers pretend their degree in Journalism was worth it.  And they consider us to be naively entertained by any ‘new’ special, game show or filler episode on TV between Thanksgiving and New Years that has anything to do with Christmas, giving, or singing. They wouldn’t spend a dime on this rot if we didn’t fall for it… every year.

This year?

Extreme Home Makeover takes over the TV for 2 hours every Monday for a  SPECIAL Holiday edition. 2 hours. Remember when Extreme Home Makeover was an HGTV show, and the most compelling part of the show was the big reveal? Now its a show that spends 1:45 minutes forcing waterworks from even the coldest of hearts. Just when you thought a story couldn’t get anymore tragic… they throw in a terminal illness, or a war veteran. And just so we are clear on the semantics… a makeover is working with what you’ve got to make it better. Ty and crew do NOT ‘Makeover’ – they tear down and build mortgage busting mansions that would make King Louis XIV jealous. Just sayin’.

Today, I look at the TV line up for this evening (yes, i start planning my attack at 8am, don’t you dare judge.) and see a new show that I don’t recognize airing after the Voice on NBC. The show is called ‘Take it All‘ – it’s a limited -run gameshow, and it’s hosted by… wait for it, in fact, I could give you 3 guesses and you’d nail it in one… Howie Mandell.

Howie Mandell – who says the show is, and I quote, “The Price is Right meets Jerry Springer“. That sounds like afternoon programming at the retirement estates in Crocketbluff, Arkansas. Or what’s on a loop in the 7th ring of hell. Either or…

That’s not all ladies and gents… after an hour of this insult to intelligence, stay on NBC for the sophomore season of Michael Buble Christmas – featuring his famous pals, Carly Rae Jepson (Grammy nominated… don’t shoot the messenger), Rod Stewart (yep, still living) and Blake Shelton (who did he sell his soul to?).

Oh it’s on. It’s officially the Christmas season – when TV gets really really bad, and we don’t care.

What are YOU watching tonight?





Weekend in Review

19 04 2010

There was a whole lotta TV on this weekend…for any kind of TV watcher. Lots of sports, lots of awards shows, SNL comedy, Donald Trump trainwrecks…everything!

Here is a little recap…I’ll try to be brief!

Current NHL PLayoff races:
OTT vs PITT – Sid the Kid is the MAN… PITT leads 2-1
MTL vs WAS – Ovechkin isnt really a factor, tied 1-1
PHI vs NJ- Brodeur cant score goals, PHI leads 2-1
BOS vs BUF – an even match, tied 1-1
PHX vs DET, the darkhorse is sticking around! PHX leads 2-1
VAN vs LA, Louuuuuuuuu! series tied 1-1
SJ vs COL, another shocker, COL leads 2-1
NSH vs CHI, young guns starting to heat up, tied 1-1

The Junos:
hosted by “the heart of the world” (bit of a stretch…) St Johns Newfoundland. And Stars were given an “out” with the Iceland Ash debacle…so there were a few no-shows. But the important people were there: Bieber, Drake, Buble…and good thing too…because Michael Buble was the star of the show, cleaning up the awards!
here’s the list of winners:

FAN CHOICE: BUBLE
SINGLE: JUST HAVENT MET YOU YET, BUBLE
INT. ALBUM: KINGS OF LEON
ALBUM: CRAZY LOVE, BUBLE
GROUP OF THE YEAR: METRIC
NEW ARTIST: DRAKE
NEW GROUP: ARKELLS
SONGWRITER: K’NAAN
ROCK ALBUM: BILLY TALENT
COUNTRY ALBUM: JOHNNY REID
POP ALBUM: CRAZY LOVE, BUBLE
RAP RECORDING: SO FAR GONE, DRAKE

Congrats Canada on another good year of music! Um, and next year, the show is heading the real heart (no exaggeration…) of the world- TORONTO!

American Country Music Awards:
Hosted by the face of Country music…no not her (Taylor Swift), or her (Dolly Parton)…or her (Faith Hill)…REBA! Oh, and in case you thought country music wasnt “gay-friendly“…Cher showed up.

Here are the big winners! (and no, it’s not a typo…Taylor Swift ain’t one of ’em!)

ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR: CARRIE UNDERWOOD
TOP MALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR: BRAD PAISLEY
TOP FEMALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR: MIRANDA LAMBERT
TOP VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR: LADY ANTEBELLUM
TOP VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR: BROOKS & DUNN
TOP NEW SOLO VOCALIST OF THE YEAR: LUKE BRYAN
TOP NEW VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR: JOEY + RORY
TOP NEW VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR: GLORIANA

Big weekend right? Country music, Canadian music and hockey…?! Albertans mustve been glued to the TV for 3 days straight!





End of a 2-week Love in….

1 03 2010

I tried to keep up— it’s hard to encapsulate an entire 12 hours of thrill and olympic stories every night on a blog, even harder to try and sum it up after the conclusion. But you know I will always try!

So I have pulled together some of my favourite or note-worthy moments…so read, enjoy, and remember all the fun we had in the past 2 weeks!

Winning Moments:

  • Police close Yonge, Canada’s biggest street, for an impromptu ball hockey tourney after gold medal win!
  • The Bobsled ladies cute dance on the podium and the short track speedskaters Cobra pose
  • The Bilodeau Brother…Canada’s favourite fan!
  • Jon Montgomery walking the streets of Whistler, and showing off his day-job skill- auctioning off a ‘golden pitcher of beer’
  • Was there a more expressive win than Scott Virtue after their short program…? Who says we are mild mannered people…!
  • After winning the GOLD in mens hockey, the ‘boys’ carried around Canada’s largest flag-on-a-stick. Better than a Stanley Cup.
  • Clara Hughes has a conniption…after her team mate Kristina Groves wins Bronze!
  • Best piece of Olympic Footage all 17 days…Marianne St Gelais watching her boyfriend win gold in Short Track. If you haven’t seen it…find it….it’s more thrilling than the race.
  • Clara Hughes gets her 6th Olympic medal…immediately donates all her winnings to Right to Play…class act.

 

Displays of Canadiana:

  • Impromptu anthem sing- alongs… at curling matches.
  • People voluntarily wearing flashing antlers at closing ceremonies
  • Those HBC outfits…just, wow. Talk about free product promotion…everyone and their dog had a Canada hat, sweater or puffy vest.
  • The fog horn that went off in Whistler Village every time Canada stuck gold!
  • Prime minister Harper played Polka-roo for 2 weeks…popping up everywhere! (While Obama was delivering a healthcare speech…he was at a hockey game, we’ve got healthcare taken care of in this country…)
  • The guy down the street from me with a light display of Olympic rings, and the medal count…seriously, Russians may have been to the moon, and dance some pretty fine ballet…but will they do THAT?!
  • The most famous people in our country…no longer the celebs in the crowd, but the ones flinging themselves down chutes of ice… or rockstar curlers.
  • The Raging Beaver helmet of Jeff Pain, skeleton.

Randoms:

  • The over 200 variations on the Believe song…It will take me another 4 years to get that earworm out of my head.
  • Norwegian pants…taking peoples mind off of the “Pants on the Ground” obsession.
  • Even Oprah had a hard time finding a pair of Red HBC mittens…I got mine for Christmas.
  • Best celebs of the games: Marianne St Gelais, Hot- Curler Cheryl Bernard, The PM,  Jon Montgomery, Most eligible bachelor Jon Morris (curler), Alex Bilodeau’s bro, Captain Sid
  • Anyone else think Russia looks…boring? Bring on more flying moose and beavers!
  • LUUUUUUU!
  • Movie cinema’s showing the Olympics on the big screen…awesome!
  • 18,000 or more people crammed into every and any hockey game…like Latvia vs Slovakia…with no actual Latvians or Slovakians in the crowd!
  • Best Romances: Marianne St Gelais/Charles Hamelin, Joannie Rochette/ FL Tremblay, Ashleigh McIvor/Chris Del Bosco, Christine Nesbitt/Netherlands speedskater, Jenn Heil/Her Coach and former Olympian Dominick Gauthier (also Bilodeaus coach)
  • The Legendary Donald Sutherland talks ‘hockey’ with ex PM’s son, Ben Mulroney. Sounds like a non-sequitor, until Mark Messier and Steve Yzerman joined them. Strange…and only in this country.
  • Every morning, CTV tried to fill 4-5 hours of Olympic-themed coverage…waiting for events to start Eastern Time. It became painful, they started interviewing Cab drivers, anyone who was wandering the streets at 4am Pacific time, researching the science of Beaver tails and Poutine, an throwing it to the weatherman every other segment.
  • If only once every four years, we get to hear the cutest french accents from Quebecer athletes…I love our country! Try not to smile when the speedskaters say things like “we win as team, we love our team, we are best in the world…merci”

Closing Ceremonies:

  • Starts off with a joke about the Opening ceremonies, a great display of our ability to laugh in spite of ourselves…while the world laughs at us usually.
  • Why in the heck is everyone wearing flashing Reindeer hats? It doesn’t go with the Americans Ralph Lauren…ha, joke’s on them!
  • I’ve never wanted to shoot myself more than sitting through the IOC and VANOC speeches, and the Russian and Oympic anthems (taking the liberty to sing ALL the verses!)
  • We need excitement, we need passion, we need to get the party started…enter Neil Young to save the day!!!!
  • Followed by a few Canadian Rants from Campy Canadians and one who hasn’t lived here in 30 years: Bill Shatner, Catherine O Hara (looks fantastic!) and Michael J Fox (he’s right, we CLAIM him…no matter where he lives!)
  • The best moment of the evening: Michael Buble in a Mounty outfit singing Maple Leaf forever.
  • Oh, but it’s not over…off comes the mounty outfit, in comes the Busby Berkley showgirls, flying moose, blown up beavers, flying cirque-leaves and a giant game of table hockey… the Canadian revue! Amazing, I have never laughed so hard and been so full of Canadian pride for all our stereotypes…we know how to embrace it!
  • A bunch of random performances: Nickleback (sigh…can we un-claim them?), Simple Plan (them too?), Avril Lavigne (she can be set free also…), K-OS and Alanis Morrisette.
  • A great show, a real party…and those antlers became a sea of glittering lights for the Buble Vegas-in-Vancouver show!

And I will now leave you with some images of the nation-wide,  post-olympics euphoria!

 

 

 

 








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