Monday Night TV FAIL!

29 11 2011

Total FAIL.

A Monday night without good TV, is just a monday night. Kinda like being in prison. Doesnt matter what day it is, you’re in prison. That’s what it felt like to me last night. There was NOTHING on…

I guess that’s not true. I’ll get a ton of hate mail saying that the finale of The Sing Off was on, and the premiere of the new ‘game show’ You Deserve It was on, and A Very Shrek Christmas (or whatever) was on….

I’m now going to tell you why I ended up watching a Storage Wars marathon INSTEAD of these other offerings.

The Sing Off… was a mistake. It is a great filler show for the Holidays or the Summer… but it cannot go up against the likes of DWTS, and other Monday night heavyweights in the awme way that SYTYCD has transitioned. That show is an anomally not a rule. The Sing Off… I watched the first 2 or 3 minutes and I couldnt take anymore. Nick Lachey is completely inadequate as the host. Thats the first thing you notice. Then you slowly slip back into the tired old format where 2 male and 1 female ex-D listers with ‘credentials’ judge each act and overuse words like “amazing” “this is what this show is all about”.

Once you get tired of that, you are exhausted by the video pieces that show each group and their sobstory-backstories. I found myself actually chuckling when the group pretended to’get involved’ in the Trevor Project, and one chorus member shared her deepest darkest memory of Bullying… when she used to get called…. Tall.
Kids can be so cruel.

At any rate, I couldnt get past those 3, very tired, worn out cliches that take away from the entertainment value.

Now, as if I really need to explain myself about why I didnt tune in to even the opening seconds of the new show You Deserve It. You’ve seen the previews right? You get the general idea? In the warm glow of Holiday Spirit, contestants compete in a game show to win money for a needy cause/person. Right away, I know there are going to be lots of tears (which I personally find uncomfortable to watch on TV), alot of heartfelt speeches (which I find even more uncomfortable and time-consuming) and probably not alot of actual ‘game show’. Also, did I mention, it is hosted by ABC’s new Seacrest… Chris Harrison. Yes, of Bachelor ‘fame’.

Honestly, if you know me at all… you know I love a good game show. I’ll watch them all day every day….I can even tolerate Family Feud and their terrible history of bad hosting decisions. However, I hate when game shows try to become MORE than what they are. Keep it simple. Jeopardy is my favourite for that very reason… question + answer = win. But what leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth is the over produced, over hosted, over sentimental shmultz that seems to end up in most of them… think Deal or No Deal… it slowly suffocated to death in it’s own shmultz.

So there – and no, it’s not even Dec. 1 so I refuse to watch a Christmas special. Shrek or no Shrek.

What did YOU watch last night?

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DWTS: Finale May 23rd

24 05 2011

The final 3 performed on the DWTS Finale show last night… and this one is going to be hard to predict!

Kirsty is a crowd pleaser, and arguably the most famous of the bunch. She had two solid dances last night, and was particularly brave in her freedance – wearing spandex and doing flips (or aerials as she says). For a woman of her age, and stature… that is quite an accomplishment! I’m not being rude, I’m being fair… this woman has overcome physical obstacles and puts on a great show, and great dancing every week.

Chelsea is built for this competition, but has lacked the fan support all the way through. She is young, vibrant, game for anything and has a great partner to take her to the end. She was at her best last night with two energetic dances. Her freestyle was a hip ‘lightshow’ that proved how hard she can attack every style of dance with precision. She’s obviously going for the young vote…if there is one.

Hines and his personality might just seal the deal. Not just his eprsonality, his dancing was unreal last night… he had the two dances of the night in my opinion. A smooth Frank Sinatra inspired quickstep, and a lift-heavy freestyle that wowed the audience and judges.

If the freestyle wins it… Hines should get the trophy. If popularity wins it, Kirsty is on top. If consistency wins, Chelsea takes the cake.

Thoughts?

Who do you predict will win tonight?

I’m going to go out on a massive limb and say… Hines will win tonight.





DWTS Monday: May 9th

10 05 2011

DWTS never fails to disappoint me… especially when it gets down to the final stages of competition.

Last night, the final 5 were tasked with an additional ‘instant dance’ – a dance that is performed to music they havent received until 20 minutes before they perform it. To me, this requires musicality… it’s not as difficult as they make it sound. The dances are pre-prepared. But it shows which Stars are really becoming dancers- because the ability to apply your moves is another completely different skill.

Let’s kick it off with Chelsea. She goes to great lengths to scold Mark for being arrogant and cocky to the judges last week, and where most times I hate this kind of false sentiment, I thought she came into her own a bit, stepping up to Mark. Good job kid. She also won brownie points going into her forst dance – which was beautiful and a break through performance for her. She had a solid effort with her instant dance (but I do find it hard to watch her steal Karina’s outfits… Disney should be careful!) and stayed at the top of the leaderboard.

Hines needed a good dance to propel him into the top with Chelsea – and he delievered! Nothing bring s crowd to it’s feet like a cheesy quickstep with a love story. Hines was fortunate not to get a slow waltz or foxtrot – he defintely won some votes with his dances last night (and his big smile!) The cream is rising…

Ralph- at a time when others are reaching new heights, Ralph unfortunately is on a slow decline… last night, injury ridden performances did not help him at all. I am rooting for this guy, but his injuries picked a bad time to flare up. I think, this could spell the end of his run on the show… yes, it was that bad.

Romeo had a bad week last week, and needed to take advantage of Ralphs misfortunes and put down a killer dance. He did. His first dance was an intense latin (to a Britney Spears song…) that got very high praise from the judges. His instant dance was slightly less stirring, but he ended up with solid scores all said.

Kirsty thought this show would work the same magic as The Biggest Loser – but girl, take care of yourself! Dancing 8 hours a day on 150 calories is nuts. ANyways, she laid down an absolutely fabulous first dance and proved once again, why she has been top of the class throughout the season. She was due for another breakthrough dance, and she nailed it last night.

Thoughts?

It was very obvious last night that Ralph was in great pain and really was not able to compete in the way he would in other weeks. It’s unfortunate, but the karate kid is down… and I don’t see him rising again. Just my opinion.

Who will get the boot tonight? Is your favourite still in? Will the fan vote keep Ralph around?





DWTS: April 18th

19 04 2011

It’s rare that DWTS is so ‘open’ at this stage of the competition.

Usually, there are one or two frontrunners, and 5 or 6 ‘fillers’ with no hope in the world of winning. Conversely, this season there are more front runners than bottom dwellers… a bell curve effect. The lowest score last night was a 22… that’s tough competition!

Nobody is a terrible dancer, those people have already gone home. What remains are a group of potentially great dancers, and only a few will make it far enough to gun for gold.

Ralph – Unfortunately, the Americana-Samba wasnt really his forte. He isnt cool enough to pull it off. Sorry. He’s such a ‘dad’ or ‘fun uncle’ that he can’t get away with grinding out a down and dirty Cowboy routine without it coming across as kitschy and overdone.

Kendra – was completely draped in a flag and likely got a lesson in being ‘sassy’ with the judges. Bottom two. Therefore, tonight was all about the rebound and trying to get voters back on her side. She was much better, but her surge was probably due to the fact that she required no ‘elegance’ on her up-tempo jive.

Chris Jericho- is more of a contender than I thought. He has the tools and the aprtner to go a long way in this competition, and tonight he showed it. He has great hold, and a charming performance gravitas. Softening down, and wearing a white uniform went a long way tonight…

Romeo- (not ‘lil anymore) Is starting to really get into this whole… dancing thing. He is now game for anything… tight pants, suits with tails and putting on Sinatra swagger for his numbers. A good dance for him last night, I like to see him (attempting to) make dancing ‘cool’.

Petra- Is beautiful and sweet – and she reminds me of a throw back hollywood Cyd Charise with her long legs and smooth lines. She pulled off another great routine tonight, putting the kibosh on the accusation that tall people can’t to fast dances!

Hines– Is quite the judege/crowd/audience favourite. His smile lights up the room, and he looked so charming in his white suit last last night. It surprised me to hear that he has accumulated the most judges points, not because I don’t think he deserves it, but because I think he is quietly becoming the frontrunner…watch out!

Chelsea– Dancing to her ‘chum’ Miley Cyrus was kind of corny… but she and Mark layed down a fantastic routine. To me, Mark outshines his partners so much that it can become distracting…I only watch him (I do the same with Derek). So if his partner is irrelevant, his strength might be the reason he makes it so far every year.

Kirsty Alley– Pulled out the big guns, and called ina few favouris from her famous pals. That’s right, there was a cameo from John Travolta in her video diary, and a slew of famous faces showed up to watch her dance. SHe did not have another mishap, but she did not have the best dance of the night either. With those heavy weights on her side, she ain’t going down too quickly… don’t fret.

Thoughts?

How did your favourite perform? With such strong scores across the board, will a favourite go home tonight?





DWTS: Season 12 Premiere

22 03 2011

Ready for another season of DWTS?

How did this show become must-see TV in every demographic? Especially when it continues to draw only the ‘personalities’ that have been unemployed for decades, or are working on a project no one has heard of, or their name sounds only vaguely familiar and your teenager has to Wiki them.

Whatever it is… it doesnt take away from the cold hard fact: I love this show.

Luckily for the new contestants, DWTS has adopted the First-Week-Freebie format, whereby everyone gets a free pass into the second week. This would prove to be a god-send for most dancers last night!

Let’s get started…

Disney Girl – yes, another one. Her biggest claim to fame is that she’s TV-kissed a Jonas brother. So… why didnt they get Miley Cyrus? Anyhooo – she’s got loads of potential, she knows how to follow choreography and she’s got a Julianne Hough smile… she should be fine for awhile.

Wendy Williams – I thought she was going to be a force to reckon with… battle of the ballroom divas between her and Kirsty Alley. I was SO wrong. This woman has some serious inferiority issues. As soon as she wasnt comfortable in her space, she withered into a wallflower. It’s always pathetic to see a grown woman cry into her $6,000 weave.

Hines Ward – Keep your eye on him. He’s another footballer-turned-dancer that could be in it to win it. Not only is he charming and actually a household name, he has hip action already!

Kendra- She will have the moves, it aint quite there yet. I can also see her being a contender as one of the more famous names in the group (go figure) and Heff cheering her on from the seats with his newest add-on.

Karate Kid– shocker of the night… the Karate Kid is 50?!?! Not only is that emotionally depressing to me as a tween in the 90’s… but the guy looks like he’s 30 at most. Hey Wendy, get HIS plastic surgeons number. I kid I kid. For the first night…this guy was awesome. He has emerged as the front runner among the men for sure.

Sugar Ray- the token old-guy of the season? He doesnt look it! Unfortunately, he dances like an old-guy. He lacks finesse and fluidity, and although he has legendary status…I don’t see him making it very far in THIS competition.

Dr.Love– Well…he has personality. That’s about all I can say about him. He is the perfect fit for Lacey- theya re both quirky and fun…. but unless she can pull of a miracle, she’ll need to find another job next month. Just sayin.

Chris Jericho – remember him? He used to be the Hottie of the WWE world when people still considered it a sport. He likes to think of himself as the ultiamte showman. That did not translate as well as I wouldve thought on the dancefloor. He has potential, I’ll give him that. But he really needs to cut the cheeseball faces and leather get-ups.

Romeo- His dad is the infamous Master P. Those of you who have watched the show from it’s earlies days will remember that trainwreck of a casting decision. So Romeo was definitely a step up! He’s fit, young, fresh and if he doesnt take himself too seriosuly, he’ll do well in this competition.

Model- She is… a model. Tall, long limbed and fresh-faced. This bodes well for ballroom dances like the waltz and the foxtrot…but it will be interesting to see how she can ‘move’ when faced with a latin or american dance.

Kirsty Alley– face it. we all thought Kirsty Alley was going to be awful. We were all wrong, and I’ll be the first to give much respect to Kirsty Alley today. The woman is carrying over 50 extra pounds but she can MOVE! She has control of her body, she kept up with Maks the whole time and has a personality. What’s not to love about that?!

Thoughts? early favourites?

I can see potential in alot of the dancers, and with 8 hour-a-day dancing schedules… we will see some massive improvements next week.





The Bachelor Monday: February 21

21 02 2011

My favourite Bachelor episode… Home town dates.

Why?

Because I’m a major voyeur. This is exactly why Reality TV appeals to me…I want to see how other people live. I know how I live…and I for one would NEVER want cameras to capture my monday nights. But I get such satisfaction from seeing OTHER people’s monday nights…without them knowing I’m there.

Freud me as much as you want… but tonight was a heck of a night to be a voyeur.

Brad went to each girls hometown, met family and got a snapshot of what he would ‘inherit’ with a proposal.

First: Chantel O

Girl is LOADED! WEll, at least, her parents are…the house alone was intimidating for a guy to walk into. Not to mention, the fact that her mother has obviously spent a fair amount on… ‘upgrades’, and her father pretends that he knows what it’s like to be poor and working class. Right. Overall, the date went well – Chantel is charming, and has it all together.

Second: Ashley

Lives so” North East”…she can see Canada from her house! Not only that, those French Canadian influences have crossed the border, and she indulges Brad in the delicacy… Poutine. THis girl is seriously small town… if you can believe it, she and Brad chose the lobsters they would eat for dinner with the Family…fresh. Her family seems very much liek the average family… perhaps a little too excited, but cameras will do that to people.

Third: Shawntel

Ok. We’ve all had bad dates. We’ve all had dates take a sour turn. But I think it’s safe to say that none of us have had a date take such a macabre tone than meeting and touring a Mausoleum. Shawntel is going to re-watch this episode and want to take her own life…it was that bad. When you take a scalpel to your dates navel… things aren’t going to end well. Too bad, at least the girl has a ‘real job’ and her family doesn’t have a house in the south of France.

Fourth: Emily

The one we’ve been waiting for… Brad meets Ricky. It was really  nice to see Emily’s mother instincts in their natural environment…so cute to hear her pet names, and trying to explain who ‘Mr Brad’ is, and why he brought her a kite. Lame! It was definitely awkward at first… Brad isn’t great with words, and apparently Ricky can’t be paid to act for the camera. But there was a bit of a breakthrough in the end… this gives Emily a surge ahead in the running me thinks!

Rose Ceremony:

Brad gives a rose to: Ashley, Emily (he would’ve been a HEEL if he hadn’t!) and Chantel O.

Not surprising. The funeral home date was a depressing glimpse of the future… and her Dad wasn’t giving her up to Austin Texas in the drop of a hat. An easy choice in the end.





Bachelor Monday: February 14

14 02 2011

The producers of The Bachelor mustve licked their lips in pure satification and pure good-fortune at the thought of The Bachelor landing on February 14th…Valentines Day.

it’s almost too perfect…

If you were alone tonight, was there really anything more appropriate to be doing than watching The Bachelor with a box of chocolates and a bubbly beverage?

On that note… the Bachelor Drinking game phrase tonight was: ‘Can I be honest with you?’ – if you were playing that game, your feelings of loneliness would’ve been masked by a tipsy comatose by 9 o’clock.

First 1-1 date was with…surprise surprise…Emily. Do ya think he likes this girl? He takes her to a deserted sand dune in the middle of the aqua ocean with nothing but a picnic and fire to keep them occupied. My first thought was… where’s the port-o-potty…but that’s just unromantic, practical, tiny bladdered me. He promises to give her a rose…but doesnt actually HAVE one to give. He also pushes her to her maternal edge by asking to meet her daughter because next week is…meet the family. She did a great job of politiking her way out of that question…

The second 1-1 date was doomed to fail. How do you follow a day on an island paradise with Emily? Britt may be just as blonde…but she has barely an ounce of personality, and barely an ounce of sexual prowess. And she breaks the number one rule of The Bachelor. Never say ‘I have a hard time showing my emotions’… its your ticket out of Bachelor town. And it was the poison that sent her home this week… Brad gave her the humiliating break up speech and sent her packing.

the last 1-1 date was a cultural day of interaction with Shawntel… the funeral director. I kinda like this girl… she has a real-life job, and a real-life personality, it’s refreshing. Brad seems to think so too… anything would be better than the awkward cliff jumping with Britt.

The Group date was a bust. First of all… what kind of a date is it being dragged out of your bed pre-dawn to perform for a photoshoot? A bad one. A terrible date idea. The girls rolled around in the sand, didnt hesitate to go topless and seethed at the amount of sexual energy there was between Brad and Michelle. Michelle admits that she’s ‘done a little modelling and acting’…yep, she’s got a curiously blocked IMDB page… but that’ll all come out in US next week.

So Brad has to reassure each girl that he still has feelings for her… and each takes their turn doing the ugly ‘send me home’ cry. It’s pathetic and totally unattractive…but seems to be necessary.

At the Rose ceremony – Brad for-go’s the cocktail party because he’s made up his mind. I love a man that takes control. sigh. Brad keeps his promise with Emily, gives a rose to Shawntel, Ashley is safe… and he chooses Chantel over Michelle.

If you thought Michelle was going to have a freak out of epic proportions… she opted for the cut-eye, silent treatment that means… she is plotting to steal Brad’s first born, or howl outside his window until a restraining order is issued. You know she’s that kind of girl.

I can’t wait to see the hometown dates… always my favourite episode! But now that crazy Michelle is gone…will there be enough drama to keep the show afloat?








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