The Joys of Christmas Programming

10 12 2012

Falalalalala -lala-lala

Tis the Season.

I watched a Home Alone Marathon last night… as a result, I set a marble trap at my door before I went to bed. Just in case. They’ll never outsmart the well-prepared.

The signs of Christmas are all around us – I’m not really referring to Christmas trees, lights or the occasional flurry, I’m much more interested with what the networks have come up with to keep us tuned in this Christmas. They bank on us forgetting how MUCH we hate Christmas specials hosted by marginal celebrities and their even more marginal friends (I’m talking about you Blake Shelton…). They KNOW that we’ll forget how excruciating it is to sit through a Holiday parade… unless it’s muted. Otherwise, you have to listen to the cheese-ball announcers pretend their degree in Journalism was worth it.  And they consider us to be naively entertained by any ‘new’ special, game show or filler episode on TV between Thanksgiving and New Years that has anything to do with Christmas, giving, or singing. They wouldn’t spend a dime on this rot if we didn’t fall for it… every year.

This year?

Extreme Home Makeover takes over the TV for 2 hours every Monday for a  SPECIAL Holiday edition. 2 hours. Remember when Extreme Home Makeover was an HGTV show, and the most compelling part of the show was the big reveal? Now its a show that spends 1:45 minutes forcing waterworks from even the coldest of hearts. Just when you thought a story couldn’t get anymore tragic… they throw in a terminal illness, or a war veteran. And just so we are clear on the semantics… a makeover is working with what you’ve got to make it better. Ty and crew do NOT ‘Makeover’ – they tear down and build mortgage busting mansions that would make King Louis XIV jealous. Just sayin’.

Today, I look at the TV line up for this evening (yes, i start planning my attack at 8am, don’t you dare judge.) and see a new show that I don’t recognize airing after the Voice on NBC. The show is called ‘Take it All‘ – it’s a limited -run gameshow, and it’s hosted by… wait for it, in fact, I could give you 3 guesses and you’d nail it in one… Howie Mandell.

Howie Mandell – who says the show is, and I quote, “The Price is Right meets Jerry Springer“. That sounds like afternoon programming at the retirement estates in Crocketbluff, Arkansas. Or what’s on a loop in the 7th ring of hell. Either or…

That’s not all ladies and gents… after an hour of this insult to intelligence, stay on NBC for the sophomore season of Michael Buble Christmas – featuring his famous pals, Carly Rae Jepson (Grammy nominated… don’t shoot the messenger), Rod Stewart (yep, still living) and Blake Shelton (who did he sell his soul to?).

Oh it’s on. It’s officially the Christmas season – when TV gets really really bad, and we don’t care.

What are YOU watching tonight?

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Saturday Night Live

23 10 2010

SNL (Emma Stone +Kings of Leon)

= Formula for Amazing potential!

Please don’t let me down! I have such great expectations for this week – I feel like Emma Stone’s complete take over of Lindsay Lohans career starts tonight.

Are you watching? I will have a recap/witty commentary on the blog tomorrow…

Operation ‘stay awake’ commences!





Premiere Week

23 09 2010

Holy Premiere Week Batman!

Wondering if there’s anything ‘new’ on tonight? Here’s the lineup of new shows and premieres set to air tonight… my advice? Stay in. Do NOT make plans. Cancel existing plans. and settle in for a looong night:

ABC:
My Generation
Greys Anatomy
Private PRactice

NBC:
Community
30 ROck
The Office
Outsourced

CBS:
Big Bang Theory
s%#! my Dad says
CSI
The Mentalist

Fox:
Bones
The Fringe

What did I tell ya? There is just NO excuse to leave your TV set tonight…you’ll miss far too much!

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV Night.





You’re fired…You’re Hired!

18 05 2010

CBS is axing the following shows…

Ghost Whisperer
Gary Unmarried

Cold Case
Miami Medical
Accidentally on Purpose
Numb3rs
The New Adventures Of Old Christine

Yikes, did you watch any of these shows?

On the flip side, FOX  and NBC seem to be hiring…here are the new shows announced:

FOX:

 Lonestar, a prime-time soap about a Texas family.

 Mixed Signals, about three friends and their relationships.

 Ride-Along, a police series set in Chicago.

and NBC:

 The Event, a 24-like conspiracy thriller.

 Undercovers, a spy drama from J.J. Abrams (Lost).

Outsourced, a comedy about a mid-American novelties company whose call centre has been outsourced to India.

 School Pride, a reality series about renovating broken-down schools.

Intriguing?





Some Sunday recaps

4 04 2010

Happy Easter weekend!…but even if you didnt watch the 10 Commandments or Ben Hur, there were other options!

Celebrity Apprentice:

Can I just say one thing, Rod-Blag is useless. An idiot, and talentless. I just dont get it…he WAS a governor…not an overly great one (obviously)…but a “leader” of a state nonetheless…he had to have had a Russian-sized ARMY of people carrying out tasks and actually doing the work FOR him. But Idigress…

Recap of the Night:

  • Rod Blag and VS model are chosen as PMs
  • Both PMs are flown offsite to ORlando
  • Task: create a 3D Harry Potter Promo for Universal Studios
  • Remember, ROD-Blag  is technologically challenged…yes that means cell phones, texting, emailing, and general computer turning-on (think early 1970’s communication methods…)
  • He hands over the responsibility to the  (previously)strung out, pretty haired, romantically delusional rocker…a safe bet right?
  • Both PM’s spend the majority of the task in Trumps plane, in Florida or en route.
  • The women used every communication method possible to stay in touch and on point.
  • Rod Blag is useless….have I mentioned that?
  • They tried to make Cyndi look like a raving lunatic-ess… again. But in the end, this was a task directed at slightly twisted, nerdy children who believe in magic and witches…an area she excelled in. (wasnt that her fanbase in the 80’s?)
  • Best quote of the night goes to (the always entertaining) Sharon Osbourne sticking up for Cyndi “If Cyndi wasnt here, it would be like watching ice melt“…love her.
  • Ultimately, The boys promo was verging on creepy and definitly a cornball attempt.
  • The womens was a much more interactive experience…and they have the secret weapon…Cyndi (frickin) Lauper.
  • Boys lose: Rod Blag brings Curtis (okay….?!) and Michael (what the…?) into the boardroom…
  • Now the (excrucutiatingly long) deliberation over who is the most uselss (you KNOW my vote…)
  • And there IS a god..Rod Blag is off TV (for tonight…watch for his appearances on various morning shows tomorrow morning)




Thursday Night TV

25 03 2010

Wondering why you were watching Survivor last night? Basketball is back …and CBS officially drops everything (even a ratings super star like Survivor) to air every minute of it. I mentioned it was College Basketball right? ONly in America.

Fortunately, There are other options on this thursday night! So you can go ahead and cancel any plans youve made…

Here’s what I’m watching tonight:

Greys Anatomy:
It’s going to be a goodie tonight. If there is one thing Greys does well…it’s ‘special’ episodes (the bomb episode was one of the greatest hours of TV i’ve witnessed…), and tonight, we get to see a flashback into the relationship between Teddie and Owen in the throngs of war. I think this will be pretty epic. Not only will we get a glimpse into their previous frienship and working relationship, saving soldiers in combat…but also, we will also start to understand the origin of Owens Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. Apparantly, this episode will shed some light on the incident that started it all…and the ‘trigger’ that will continue to set him off. Intriguing? I think so…! Also…i hesitate to mention, I’ve been hearing some rumours of a pregnancy…somewhere, with someone. Unsubstantiated! So don’t freak out, but I have some good sources. Tune in for some Greys drama tonight, 9pm ABC

NBC Comedy Tursday:
8:30 pm- Parks and Rec
(give it a try, it’s really quite a treat…I often find myself LOLing)
9pm- The Office (a new office relationship to follow, and whatever happened to the “contract” between Dwight and Angela? find out tonight.)
9:30- 30 Rock (Who doesnt love a little Tina Fey…fantastic on Letterman last night btw)
10pm- Marriage Ref (ok, so this is definitly a ‘filler’ show…but tonights panel is Kelly Rippa, jerry Seinfeld and Alec Baldwin)

Or you could watch…basketball (?!)

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV NIght.





Wednesday Morning Tidbits

24 03 2010

This is not just a TV Pre-cap and Recap Blog…I make it a goal to bring you all the news in the TV world. In my segments entitled “TV Tidbits“, I bring you anything that I’ve been hearing around the interwebs (thats what the kids are calling it…) giving you more to talk about in a long elevator ride with your least favourite co-worker.

Some Wednesday TV Tidbits:

  • I know you are following Paula Abduls career with vested interest, as am I. Today, there is news that she is in the development stage of a new show (yes…another new show rumour). If you ask me, her attempts are getting weaker and more desperate- the latest is a reality show based on Flash Mob dancing. I kid you not folks. It is rumoured that she will host along with Super-dance-choreographer (Think Michael Jackson, High School Musical and Hannah Montana) Kenny Ortega. Really? Is there enough material for an entire show about this phenomenon? If this sounds like a terrible waste of money and air-time…consider this: it’s for NBC (think Marriage Ref).
  • Let’s jump to another (time wasting) saga…the Conan OBrien career epic. The latest news is that FOX is set to announce his hiring in their May 17th advertisers preview. So… will switching networks help his ratings? You gotta know that contract will be IRONCLAD, Conan wont be screwed again.
  • In other FOX news, they have unveiled a few new Pilots for next season worth mentioning (forgetting about). First: “Tax Men”- Ron Howard produces this one (do other producers have jobs?) and it is an Office-esque comedy centred around the IRS, it’s bad reputation and hateful public persona. Sounds kinda rib-tickling…we’ll see.
    Second: “Wilde Kingdom”- The return of Kerri Russel (in case you were losing sleep over it) and Will Arnett! This will be an Arrested Development-esque comedy, because most of the writers of the show come from AD. The show is about a rich aristocrat falling for a tree-hugging charity-case. I hope this is better than it sounds, it will come down to writing and style.
  • Programming note: Survivor is on TONIGHT…and thanks be to the gods of all that is fair and just…it will NOT be a recap show. Check back for a pre-cap this afternoon.







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