The Bachelor: Week 3 January 16

17 01 2012

Welcome to the next stop on the Bachelor Tourism Commercial… it’s week 3 and we’re in the Beautiful Bay area, in everyone’s favourite city with a bridge… San Francisco!

Look! There’s a trolley! Look there’s Chinatown! Look theres a big bridge!

(brought to you by, the city of San Francisco and )

So, the girls were taken from Sonoma Valley to San Francisco – Ben’s REAL home town. Not to be confused with his hometown in Sonoma (?!?!)

The first one on one date was climbing ‘the bridge’. Every season, the bachelor(ette)s ‘plan’ a date that will test ‘trust’ and ‘endurance’. A huge metaphor for love. In every instance, the bachelor(ette) picks the contestant with the “intense fear of heights” (unwittingly) and proves that “together, we can survive the ups and downs of a scary journey called love”.

it’s formulaic…it’s cheeseball… it’s sewn into the script of this show pretty much every week 3. Deal.

The girl/guy (contestant) always gets the rose.

I can tell you right now, if I was forced to face my greatest fear on a date…(which would be going to a spider petting zoo FYI) I wouldnt see that as a bonding experience. I would be huddled rocking back and forth in fetal position yelling scathing incoherent obscenities at the guy who CHOSE this scenario. A peck on the cheek and a pat on the behind wouldnt ‘make it all better’.

I digress…

Whether she faked her fear of heights, or was easily comforted – girl got the rose.

The group date was probably the most ridiculous date I’ve ever seen on this show. Seriously. Ben takes the girls to a fake snow hill in the middle of San Fran. They strip down to their skivvies, put on skiis and try to impress Ben with their ‘skills’. This is the kind of event I see Hugh Hefner throwing in his backyard…or grand staircase. The worst part about this date was the lead up… they all get into the newest Honda model and check out the features! OH look, it has a wallpaper feature! The only thing missing was the MSRP. It was almost as shameless as the American Idol Ford commercials.
Not only that, Ben proceeds to tell us how everytime he walks these streets he thinks to himself “I wonder if  could ski on these hills?”. Right.

In the meantime, Brittany (one of the blondes…) decides that this isnt the show for her, so she packs her bags and leaves. Leaving a gaping hole to fill… more on that later.

So Ben’s second one on one is with Lindzi (the one with the horse). They take a private trolley ride around the city, where Ben shows her ‘the sights’ of a place she could potentially be moving to in the future. Dont you hate the new line they have made maditory for all contestants to say? “I can definitely see myself living here”. It’s almost as bad as ” (blank) is the perfect place to fall in love”. ALmost.

They have dinner, they stop into a piano store to make music… She gets a rose.

Here comes the much discussed ‘twist’. So… here’s how it is explained to us: the funeral directorShawntel  from Brad’s season, saw Ben on the show and fell in love. There is also mention of conversations they have had in the past… now she’s coming to crash the party to see if those feelings were real, and stop him from going any further on his quest for love. 

I dont think this makes her any less deserving of his time than any other girl in the house. They all made a HUGE stink about how he has built new relationships here and that she doesnt even know him. Tell me, how many cumulative words has any of the girls said to him one on one this season? Shawntel seems to allude to a prior history. So, that’s not really the issue.

The issue is, another girl walks in… looking smokin’ hot, and Ben gets flustered when he sees her. I think what followed was an embarassing demonstration of how cruel the female species can be. Shawntel takes a lot of heat, withstands verbal abuse and unfair defamation of her character. If this was planned and orchestrated by the producers (and who are we kidding…) I say shame on them for making this girl look like a jazabel and referred to as ‘Brad’s trash’. Shame.

So now the question is, will Ben keep her around?

At the Rose Ceremony: All the usual suspects make it through. Dramatic pause as Ben holds the final rose, and 3 girls (including Shawntel) remain. One girl faints from the emotional overload. Doesnt matter, she still didnt get a rose. Neither of them did… Erica, Jaclyn and Shawntel go home.


Bachelor Monday: January 24th

24 01 2011

The only thing good about a Monday, is The Bachelor… are you with me?

Today, I woke up far too early, to weather that was far too cold to a day that was far too long.

So yes, The Bachelor was the best part of this particular January 24th.

Let’s get to it then!
What are the Bachelor Drinking Game words of the week? Scary, and Real

The first one-one date was with an early front runner, Chantel O. I can’t say why, but Brad and Chantel have a bit of a ‘real’ thing happening. He seems to really hint that he really likes this girl, I dont know why, and I dont see her charm. BUT, we all know my theory… He likes the brunettes. So- their date went very well, they spent the night cuddling and talking about how ‘real’ their relationship is. (Shot.) She gets a rose.

Oh, and before we go on… Crazy Michelle woke up with a black eye. No explanation BUT it came in handy as a reason get some much needed attention from Brad.


The group date – the ladies all visit a radio show where Dr Drew makes even more $$ off  emotionally unstable semi-celebs with no discernible future past this 15 minutes. The girls ‘opened’ up about their relationship issues and their concern over Brad’s relationship issues. Blah, blah… it doesnt matter WHAT the group date is, it always ends up in the hot tub. That’s where the true drama bubbles to the surface. And the ‘tag-I’m it!’ dating comes into play. It seems like these girls literally say two words this ‘future husband’ once every 4 days… what an insane show this is! A shy blonde girl gets a rose.

Crazy Michelle got the final one-one date. She revealed (faked) a fear of heights as they repelled down a building and into a pool. She gets a rose.

At the Rose ceremony, Chantel gets very emotional over Brads gesture to Emily. She breaks down and tells him that she didnt know she would feel this way. Really? You didnt think that seeing your ‘future husband’ have a relationship with 20 other girls wouldnt affect you? They didnt prep you at your casting call?

Relax. you have a rose.

So 3 other ‘who the heck are they?’ girls went home, and Crazy Michelle remains.

She is totally necessary to the plot line, if we lost her…there would be no show. You don’t think the producers know that?

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