The Bachelor Monday: January 30th

31 01 2012

See now…. THIS is why we watch The Bachelor.

THIS is why the franchise has become so successful.

THIS is why it wins it’s timeslot every monday, why spin offs like The Bachelor Pad draw viewers and why it continues to be one of the longest running reality TV programs (next to Survivor of course).

Every week, we tune in because there is a formula that we can’t resist, and every once and awhile there’s a moment we were SO glad we tuned in to see. Mostly, so we can talk about it with our girl friends later.

This week, we all know what that moment was… the skinny dipping.

Let’s start the discussion. It’s the only one worth having from this episode… (please, do we care that the girls had a baseball themed date,  or that Ben made out with Nicki in his first one on one, or that Elyse didnt get a rose on her one on one? Not really.)

So the girls go on a group date. Everyone hates group dates, because your ‘alone time’ is minimal, and the rest of the day/night you are forced to chit chat with you competition. Mostly in a bikini or a steamy hot tub. It’s not particularly fun or romantic.

So we all know at this point, you have to make the most fo your ‘time’ with Ben. 2 girls did that. Kacie B, was able to lure him into an emotional conversation about his life and his journey to find love. She got the rose. However, the girl that made the MOST of her time was once again…. model Courtney.

Girl knows what she’s doing. In my opinion, this particular scenario was NOT set up by producers, I think she just ran with the opportunity as it presented itself. As evidence by the fact that Ben, once coerced into de-frocking, tried to hide his ‘parts’ from the camera. Almost like he remembered this would air…on TV, but before that… a team of editors would get to look at his naked rear for hours on the cutting room floor.

So here’s the question. Who do you hate more right now? Ben or Courtney?

Courtney is the wiley one, the one who proposed and concocted the plan in the first place. But, you are hosting a  group date and you scurry off with the ‘hot one’ to go skinney dipping? That’s low.

How do you compete with that? No amount of talking about feelings and love will ever compete with ‘omg! I just saw a model naked!’.

There have been a lot of people walk off the show for ridiculous, petty and even unexplained reasons. But if I was a contestant on this show, it would be over for me right then and there.

At the Rose Ceremony, Emily tries (again) to warn Ben about Courtney. Girl, this guy has seen his wildest fantasy come true… he doesnt care if ‘she’s kind of a weirdo’. Couldnt care less at this point.

But in the end, the limo drove away with Jennifer who was heart broken, of course.


The Bachelor: Week 3 January 16

17 01 2012

Welcome to the next stop on the Bachelor Tourism Commercial… it’s week 3 and we’re in the Beautiful Bay area, in everyone’s favourite city with a bridge… San Francisco!

Look! There’s a trolley! Look there’s Chinatown! Look theres a big bridge!

(brought to you by, the city of San Francisco and )

So, the girls were taken from Sonoma Valley to San Francisco – Ben’s REAL home town. Not to be confused with his hometown in Sonoma (?!?!)

The first one on one date was climbing ‘the bridge’. Every season, the bachelor(ette)s ‘plan’ a date that will test ‘trust’ and ‘endurance’. A huge metaphor for love. In every instance, the bachelor(ette) picks the contestant with the “intense fear of heights” (unwittingly) and proves that “together, we can survive the ups and downs of a scary journey called love”.

it’s formulaic…it’s cheeseball… it’s sewn into the script of this show pretty much every week 3. Deal.

The girl/guy (contestant) always gets the rose.

I can tell you right now, if I was forced to face my greatest fear on a date…(which would be going to a spider petting zoo FYI) I wouldnt see that as a bonding experience. I would be huddled rocking back and forth in fetal position yelling scathing incoherent obscenities at the guy who CHOSE this scenario. A peck on the cheek and a pat on the behind wouldnt ‘make it all better’.

I digress…

Whether she faked her fear of heights, or was easily comforted – girl got the rose.

The group date was probably the most ridiculous date I’ve ever seen on this show. Seriously. Ben takes the girls to a fake snow hill in the middle of San Fran. They strip down to their skivvies, put on skiis and try to impress Ben with their ‘skills’. This is the kind of event I see Hugh Hefner throwing in his backyard…or grand staircase. The worst part about this date was the lead up… they all get into the newest Honda model and check out the features! OH look, it has a wallpaper feature! The only thing missing was the MSRP. It was almost as shameless as the American Idol Ford commercials.
Not only that, Ben proceeds to tell us how everytime he walks these streets he thinks to himself “I wonder if  could ski on these hills?”. Right.

In the meantime, Brittany (one of the blondes…) decides that this isnt the show for her, so she packs her bags and leaves. Leaving a gaping hole to fill… more on that later.

So Ben’s second one on one is with Lindzi (the one with the horse). They take a private trolley ride around the city, where Ben shows her ‘the sights’ of a place she could potentially be moving to in the future. Dont you hate the new line they have made maditory for all contestants to say? “I can definitely see myself living here”. It’s almost as bad as ” (blank) is the perfect place to fall in love”. ALmost.

They have dinner, they stop into a piano store to make music… She gets a rose.

Here comes the much discussed ‘twist’. So… here’s how it is explained to us: the funeral directorShawntel  from Brad’s season, saw Ben on the show and fell in love. There is also mention of conversations they have had in the past… now she’s coming to crash the party to see if those feelings were real, and stop him from going any further on his quest for love. 

I dont think this makes her any less deserving of his time than any other girl in the house. They all made a HUGE stink about how he has built new relationships here and that she doesnt even know him. Tell me, how many cumulative words has any of the girls said to him one on one this season? Shawntel seems to allude to a prior history. So, that’s not really the issue.

The issue is, another girl walks in… looking smokin’ hot, and Ben gets flustered when he sees her. I think what followed was an embarassing demonstration of how cruel the female species can be. Shawntel takes a lot of heat, withstands verbal abuse and unfair defamation of her character. If this was planned and orchestrated by the producers (and who are we kidding…) I say shame on them for making this girl look like a jazabel and referred to as ‘Brad’s trash’. Shame.

So now the question is, will Ben keep her around?

At the Rose Ceremony: All the usual suspects make it through. Dramatic pause as Ben holds the final rose, and 3 girls (including Shawntel) remain. One girl faints from the emotional overload. Doesnt matter, she still didnt get a rose. Neither of them did… Erica, Jaclyn and Shawntel go home.

The Bachelor Premiere : Season 16

3 01 2012

Gather round Bachelor fansBen is back as The Bachelor and the 16th season premiered last night.

Remember when The Bachelor started? It was a hunky, successful perfect mold of a man. There have been many iterations and version of ‘the Bachelor’ image… we’ve seen tall dark and handsom, we’ve seen gorgeous blondes, we’ve had Italian princes, we’ve had pilots and gym rats… and now, we have California floppy, long haired, soft spoken, heart broken Ben.

I dont want to get into a discussion about whether Ben will be a ‘good’ Bachelor… it doest much matter. It’s the format that works, not the prize. But this new ‘bachelor image’ is an odd choice. It seems as though the production crew is fully aware of this peculiar situation… average guy meets 25 ’10’s’ and dictates their future in pageant fashion.

It’s ALL about the girls.

Ben isnt doing alot of heavy lifting… he doesnt have the gravitas nor the personality for it. The girls are carrying every scene, the girls are creating all the drama (surprise surprise) the girls are the focal point of every shot. Ben’s screen time is minimal… beacuse it is inconsequential.

So last night, Ben met his 25 carefully selected (cast) women. The usual suspects show up, models, actors, executive assistants, sales reps, ‘in fashion’, pesonal trainers, dental hygenists… these are people who have the means to take this much time off, dont have an important job to keep them there, or view this as a better opportunity for career movement. (There are 7 model/actress/pageant girls… ’nuff said)

Then there are the crazies… you know who I mean. The Canadian with the last name ‘Bacon’, the game hunter, the ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ love blogger, the southern belles, the perky british world traveler, the girl who brought her grandma, the girl wearing the kentucky derby hat, the girl who walked past Ben without saying a word (insert porn music), and the lesbians.

There was drama as soon as the girls arrived. of course. We didnt wait months post Bachelor Pad for slow ramp up to tears and bickering. No no no… The Bachelor delivers. Not that Ben has anything to do with it.

The love Blogger thinks the lesbians hate her. The girls resent the ‘Grandma’ card and horse gimmick. There is a whole lot of alcohol being poured… tears, hugging, awkward conversations.

The First Impression Rose was given to Lindzi the horseback rider from Seattle. This is an ever-important rose.. this person always seems to be a strong contender for the long haul in this ‘competition’… so watch out for this girl.

The rose ceremony was built up more than most seasons… I guess after 16 seasons, the producers have realized that since we havent formed an opinion on any of the girls, nor do we remember any of their names or backstories – they have to create reasons for us to care about the first cuts.

The one main storyline – the lesbian vs the blogger – proved to be enough to built some suspense for the Rose Ceremony. The blogger showed up late after crying in the bathroom, and both the lesbians made it through to the next round. So did the Blogger…

It’s probably easier to say who DIDNT make the cut… Canadian Bacon, The Brit, one of the actresses, and 3 others. It really doesnt matter… however, each girl probably got just as much air time as Ben in this episode, so that should fill their 15 minutes of fame.

Thoughts? Any early favourites?

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