The Bachelorette: Finale and ATFR

23 07 2012

You found this blog, which means, you have internet access. Check out my deductive reasoning!

So you already know… Emily chose Jef on the Bachelorette Finale last night.

You didn’t really come to my blog to find out ‘the winner’ – you came to discuss last night’s finale and ATFR.

Did you sit through all 3 hours of the Bachelorette last night? I did. And I’ll probably sit through 2 hours of the bachelor Pad tonight… sad right? But it’s Monday night, and it’s the summer. There’s nothing else on and they KNOW it! It’s the ABC Monday night formula: DWTS, Bachelor/Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad… start again.

SO let’s talk about last night.

Here’s my question:

If Arie had received the first ‘last’ date after the two met the Parents… would HE have met Ricki, and would HE have been the ultimate ‘winner’. Was he a victim of…timing? of production? of editing? Or had Emily already made up her mind, requesting the show to work the way it did… Jef getting the first date, meeting Ricki and sealing the deal.

An interesting thought.

ONE guy got to meet Ricki – after that, it was all over.

Jef has never been my favourite to ‘win’. I struggled with his school-boy crush attitude he adopted every time he was with Emily. You’re a grown woman, with a child, who has had your share of romance… does it really sweep you off your feet to hear a guy say he was ‘scared’ to kiss you? Is that endearing? Or it that ‘behind the portables at recess’? I just didnt get…them.

However, I also know how much of this show is scripted, edited to tell a ‘story’, and only seconds of a relationship that manifests itself without cameras rolling. I know this. Therefore, I can’t analyse their relationship based on what I’ve seen every Monday night.

ATFR was useless – it followed the exact same format as every other. “When are you getting married” “What do you love about each other” “How does it feel to be public about your relationship?” “is that a Neil Lane rock on your finger?”

Probably the most interesting story line that unfolded last night…was the Ari rejection drama.

Emily showed up at her final date with Arie, and choked out a rejection instead. Arie’s reaction was extremely realistic. As in, I felt like we were watching a real moment between a man and a woman ending a relationship that was unexpected and emotional. Follow that up with a face-to-face ATFR, where we hear that Arie tried to reach out after the show… and Emily would have no part in it. Emily has shown strength and poise through this entire process, however, she seriously lacks the ability to just… say the hard stuff. She could NOT verbalize her feelings to Arie when she was breaking up with him, and she could not bring herself to properly explain her relationship with Jef to him…even now!

So there was a fair share of drama last night – the question of whether this couple will last is moot. They have the same chance as any other… The Franchise doesn’t exactly have a sterling reputation for developing long lasting relationships.




Bachelorette Recap: Week 7

26 06 2012

Emily decided last week to keep 2 guys, so this week there were STILL 6 guys in the running for her affection. In my opinion, there are probably only 3 guys with any REAL chance at her hand and her heart. She knows that too… which is why she got rid of 2 guys this week, without so much as a bat of an eye.

Next stop on the Bachelorette Travel network – Prague.

There are 4 dates planned: 3 one on ones, and a group date.

1. One on one: Ari

Has a secret! If you’ve read the tabloids recently, you already know what the ‘secret’ is (weeks ago, right?)… he was in a relationship with one of the producers a few years ago. However, what they failed to mention in the show, is that they are still very much close acquaintences. It’s the reason he made the show. Scandal! Do you really think each contestant comes to the show honestly? Of course not! Each contestant has been hand ‘casted’, selected, and it doesnt hurt to have a connection. c’est la vie! But Emily is right, they couldve been very open and honest with her about the relationship, and Ari ‘hiding’ it like a Playboy Magazine, is juvenile.

It doesnt matter…because according to Emily, the producer missed out because Ari is such a good…kisser. I cant make this stuff up. Those words came out of her mouth. A grown woman.

Ari kissed his way to full redemption and forgiveness… she has a really, really big crush on this one.

2. One on One: John

What an agonizingly boring person. He is terrible on camera, hardly looks at Emily when he speaks to her, and has nothing overly compelling to impart. They go into a dungeon for dinner, and he pretends to be scared along with emily. Then he tells an ’emotional’ story about a girl that cheated on him, and instead of being sympathetic, I found it extremely awkward to watch – and he called his date a homerun. Yikes. Delusional.

And is there anything more immasculating than your roomate stealing the girl behind your back? Sean waited until John returned home, and slipped out to steal some alone time for himself. Homerun? I think Sean got MUCh closer to a homerun than John did that night! They were rounding second in the alley!

3. Group date: Sean, Doug and Chris

This group date turned into a 2 on 1 very early on – Cartoon Doug was sent home, or graciously set free, by Emily after a long chat about their future. Doug ‘saw’ it. Emily was not ‘feeling’ it. Doug reminded me of a nervous promdate… and no one feels comfortable sitting next to THAT guy. The lowlight of the entire episode, was watching Doug ‘go in for the kiss’. She was in the middle of rejecting him, and he went for it. She thanked him sweetly and hardly skipped a beat. 5 seconds later, he was packing his bags.

Remember Sean’s romantic gesture last night? Well, Emily sure did. Chris didnt stand a chance in this 2 on 1. But you know what definitely didnt help? His intense scowl, and reprimand of Emily’s decision to include him in a group date and not a 1 on 1. Like a petulent child. Like somehow, it was his god-given RIGHT to spend time with her. Verging on Kalon-esque.

4. One on One: Jef

Where Jef uses a puppet as his mouthpiece to say ‘I love you’ to his girl. It’s just so cheeseball, and so immature. but then , their relationship is that. She is a different Emily when she is with him. She is goofy, she allows herself to get wrappe dup in his clumsy charm, she accepts the skinny jeans…

I just don’t picture that family photo! An Emo hipster and his southern Belle. It’s just… baffling. However, Jef IS a nice guy, and they seem to have a good time canoodling and talking about life, love and other mysteries. Could he be a father figure…like yesterday… for Ricky? I don’t see it, but maybe she does.

At the Rose Cermony – Emily makes up her mind without a cocktail reception, and Chris couldnt be more panicked! He stops the Rose Ceremony for one last chat with Emily. He apologizes, and pleads his case – it’s exhausting isnt it?

It seemed to be convincing enough for Emily, she keeps Chris and sends John home. Shocked? Nope. Do I think she flip flopped after Chris’ empassioned apology? Perhaps. But she knew that Doug and John, and likely Chris were never going to be her husband… so it was a pretty easy decision this week.


Bachelorette Recap: Week 4

5 06 2012

It feels like this season of the Bachelorette is practically void of the overtly dramatic for-the-sake-of-TV scenarios.

Is it because Emily is keeping it to a minimum? Is it because these guys are bad actors? Or is it because they have to save it for The Bachelor Pad now? All of the above.

Emily has a very subtle, yet totally direct way of rejecting men she isnt interested in. She has very specific questions to ask of them, and if she doesnt get the right kind of response, she is swift to deliver the blow. However, she also has such a genuinely sweet disposition, that her rejections go down like sugar. Half the time, I can’t tell whether the guy himelf knows what just hit him…all of a sudden he’s in a limo!

But it is Week 4, so producers have been able to creat e a little bit of house-drama to keep the franchise afloat. There were a few you-know-what disturbers. The jocks form their clique. Doug gets picked on. Chris is insecure about his age. Ryan’s a crazy person. and we get our first 2-1 date of the season!

Let’s start with the One on One date with Daddy Doug. First stop on the Board of Tourism promotional tour, Bermuda. the two go walking around the isalnd (not difficult to do in one day, I’ve done it.) It’s the perfect back drop, however, maybe next time they ask about the weather on the dates they will be shooting. It looked absolutely frigid. Missing the opportunity to get Emily in a bikini, and the men topless. Huge oversight. At any rate, Doug plays the perfect dad – and Emily questions him on it. She didnt really get what she wanted, but I guess she appreciated the fact that he IS such a nice guy and a good father.

He sticks around and gets a Rose (but not a lot of action).

The group date was a sailing competition, that Emily looked completely uninterested in watching. If she doesnt want to watch it, why would I? I guess there were two boats racing, and it looked super difficult, and somehow the guys who were clearly in the lead for much of the race, were suddenly overtaken in the end. Strange. Those guys got to have more time with her that night, the others were sent back to the hotel.

So guys like Ryan, Jef, Ari etc. got some more alone time with Emily. Ari cemented his position with a good old fashioned make out session on the beach. Jef… hardly looks at her when he talks, looks so uncomfortable sitting beside a woman, and has a bouffant. I dont get it. I dont get him. And I certainly dont get why Emily would have any interest in him. It looks like a school teacher relationship to me…and I’m not OK with that.

Jef, of all people, gets the Rose.

The 2 on 1 date, is by far one of my favoueite features of The Bachelor franchise. I love this date. It’s so painfully awkward, and the silence makes for the WORST TV… so bad it’s good. Usually, the lead will pick two peple that are totally different… to determine which they want to keep around. Last night, Emily picked two very quiet and unassuming guys, John and Nate. Guys I had not payed much attention to, and neither had she. Nate cried when talking about his family and friends. John played the cool card. Neither of them did much to shine or stand out. Girls play this game better. On the Bachelor, the two girls invited ont his date come out guns a blazing – stealing kisses, stealing time, desperately campaigning for their lives on the show.

Emily chose the Cool Confidence of John. I guess if you HAD to choose…

At the Rose Ceremony, Chris confronts Doug about his comment about his age. It did not show any maturity on Chris’ part to pick a fight over something so minor. Doug shot him down with ease and precision. Chrs eventually moped and walked away. That was the extent of it.

Notice how quickly we’ve changed the Top of the Crazy leaderboard? It was Kalon… remember him? Now it’s definitely Ryan. He’s the obvious king of the drama, and most destined for Bachelor Pad next season.

Emily keeps him around for another week. There may be some outcry… but here’s what I figure. Emily has a Top5 or even Top 3 guys that sees any chance of developing real feelings for in the end. But this is a TV show. She cant pick those guys right now, she has to follow a process. So, instead of keeping around guys that are dull as lead, she’ll keep a few ‘fun ones’ around. Why not?

She sends home two guys: Michael, and Charlie


The Bachelorette: Final 3 July 25

26 07 2011

We have reached the final 3 on this season’s  Bachelorette.

Was this what you had in mind?

The Twins (Constantine and Ben) and JP fly to Fiji to ‘fall in love’. But they arent the only ones. In a stunning twist (if only hasnt been used and overused by this farnchise every season…) Ryan returns to have one last chace with Ashley. When did she start calling him ‘Ry’? Just wondering.

Anyways, Ryan gets a free trip to Fiji to spend a few days ‘waiting for a kncok on the door’. Life is tough.

Ashley starts her week of dates with Ben F, who is seriously falling for her and wants to tell her. Guys love to talk a big game, but when it gets down to it…all aof them are scared to death of saying the L word. They have a nice date, go yachting, go scuba diving, have dinner. Oh right, then get to spend the night together. Imagine if he HAD told her he loved her?

Next, Constantine tries to pick up where he left off… but isnt fooling anyone. He does a great job of digging a massive hole and dying in it. Hint: saying you havent felt the urge to hold her hand, kiss her or open up… not getting you anywhere. Also, saying that he wouldnt mind if his buddy Ben F got his girl… equally damaging. This was not a great day for Constantine, and it didnt end well either. At dinner, he rejected the ‘overnight’ stay and decided there was nowhere else to go in this relationship. He left. For good reason – the man wasnt feeling it, why would he force another 8 awkward hours out of the girl?

Before we get to JP – Ashley delivers the final blow to Ryan. I never liked Ryan particularly, I always felt like he was ‘too much’ to handle…but his sincerity in his last ‘hurrah’ on this season made him a contender for the Bachelor next season. Seriously. The guy mustve gotten some acting lessons, or the Producers coached him, or the editors did wonders… I dont know. But believe you me, they have their man for next season… and this was the ‘ to be continued’ storyline they were looking for.

Now, Jp’s date– More boating, more private island-ing, more staring off into the sunset and the future fo the relationship-ing. JP has this thing figured out. He isn’t concerned with other guys, he isnt whining and kavetching about being chosen or not… he is confident and that is a super turn on at this stage in the game. JP isnt leaving without his girl. He’s a fighter. But even with all that ‘fight’ in him, he still hasnt said the big L word. No that it mattered, of course, they take it to the bedroom at the end of the evening.

The Rose ceremony is completely unecessary and anti-climatic – but Ashley fills 25 minutes with comparison notes, date recaps with Chris and a big long speech about the imporatnce of really wanting and accepting her ‘rose’.

Surprise surprise, both men take it.


Tune in on sunday for the Men Tell All (or some, a few things, nothing we dont already assume…)

Bachelorette Monday: July 11

12 07 2011

A jam packed Bachelorette last night – full of all the Bachelorette goodies the franchise has to offer.

Not only did we get a new episode, but we also got a bonus featurette: Emily’s tearful return and explanation of her failed relationship with the doomed two-time Bachelor Brad Womack.

Let’s start with Ashley and her boys.

We’re down to the final 6, how did time go so fast? Ashley is choosing her Final 4 in this episode…

First, her one on ones with Ben F are heating up. He has definitely won her heart with his wind blown, morning hair and quiet confidence. They traversed the Taiwanese countryside in a moped and Ashley is very comfortable around him. Apparantly. She kept him until morning. Ooolala.

In her one on one with Ryan (totally excited, totally hyped, totally thrilled, totally…awesome!) Ashley found out JUST how passionate he can be…about…everything. I’m sure the editors worked their magic, but Ryan went on wuite the rant about water tanks and energy efficient solar coolants…or soemthing like that. I tuned out, so did Ashley. Ryan didnt make it past that date – he was sent home for ‘lack of connection’. He was bummed, but not defeated. This guy is the living embodiement of Rob Lowes character in Parks and Recreation. Just sayin.

Next, there was the always awkward group date with Ames, Lucas and JP – taking old fashioned wedding pictures. Sigh. Could these dates get any more tacky? JP was already having some jealousy issues from Ben F’s overnight with Ashley, and he addressed them with her. Ames is…. unique. You can tell simply from his clothing choices. But, he is a little charmer, and I think he stands out a bit when in a group. He’ll be an interesting one in the Men Tell All. Lucas is a southern gentleman who hasnt gottena lot of screentime. I don;t hink Ashley is thrilled about him being married before. It’s obvious that it’s an issue, because she brings it up EVERY time they talk.

 In the end, JP got the rose for confessing his feelings…

At the Rose ceremoney, Ashley selected her final 4, leaving out Lucas.

The Final 4 are:

Ben F


I don’t really want to get into a discussion about Emily and Brad. She doesnt need to explain herself, and she doesnt need to re-affirm his good character. It’s unneccessary, and shame on producers who think that every couple should feel obliged to give us ‘updates’ on their status.

The Bachelorette: Monday June 20

21 06 2011

The TV install was complete JUST in time for The Bachelorette last night.


So last night, if you weren’t already SICK and TIRED to DEATH of hearing about Bentley… it was another rough night.

The first date, was with Ben (the winemaker with the scruffy hair) – one of my early favourites. They traversed through the the local markets, painting fans, interacting with the locals, buying cultural food and wares. Like a normal everyday date. The chemistry is palapable, particularly when they were sitting infront of a holy temple and forbidden to kiss. Tension. Don’t worry, lots of kissng came later during dinner. Needless to say, he got a rose.

The group date was controversial – or at least thats how the producers decided to play it. The men were pitted against eachother in Mui Tai Boxing (by the way, I’ve taken Mui Tai boxing classes…and I’ve never gottena black eye…just sayin. Producers could make Yoga a danger sport) in the process, Ames not only picked the pink shorts, but was brutally beaten up in his round. He left for the hospital, and was back just a little woozy at the cocktail party. Make love not war!

The last date was the dreaded 2 on 1 date…and the players? William (the roaster) and Ben (the other one). William decided to pull out yet another Jerk Card and ‘tattle’ on Ben, saying that he talks alot of game about going back home. Ashley took swift action and ousted Ben. William assumed he had it made, and was teh benficiary of a one-on-one date due to his shrewd move. Not so. William ALSO got the boot without a rose. Ouch!

Before the Rose cermoneyBentley comes up again. Ashley confides in Chris, saying that she can’t really get over him in her head. She needs ‘closure’. She needs to talk to him. She needs another cry in his arms.

If the producers think they can milk this storyline, they will…it’s in his contract. He’ll be back whether he wants to or not. So next week in Hong Kong, you are going to see his mug back on the tube.

At the Rose cermoney, The blond surfer dude went home without a rose.


The drama continues next week, are you sick of Bentley being the theme of this season?

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