AGT Recap: Top 48 Group 2

11 07 2012

I’m finally at a point where I will be watching Americas Got Talent on a consistent basis, and will be able to post recaps and discussion. To be honest, I find AGT hard to watch in the beginning stages – there’s alot of the same kind of thing, there’s a lot of useless judge banter, there’s too much of Nick Cannon being a one-man Nick Cannon show, it’s uninteresting to me. And if I have to hear one more story about perseverance, overcoming the odds, and the American Dream… I will find a cruel and unusual way to end my life. Just saying.

Now that I’ve explained myself, let’s talk about last night’s acts…shall we?

Lion Dance Me – I don’t understand the name of the group, the grammar is incorrect… is it supposed to be? Is it ironic and I’m missing it? Whatever the case may be, I didn’t find the performance to be particularly earth shattering. There’s a Chinese festival every other weekend in Toronto… and you’ll see the same thing performed as part of a parade every time. Next…

Turf – the contortionist dancer got rave reviews from the judges. But I ask you, could this guy sustain a 60 minute headline show in Vegas? I agree, he’s talented and pretty unique… but the guy needs to be in a Kanye video, and make lots of money as a sideshow dance act… i don’t know if he’ll WIN but he was one of the most entertaining acts of the night.

All-Ways – a rock band? I guess. They look like they dressed up as a rock band for Halloween, it feels a bit forced, and I dont know if they’re any more talented than your neighbours kids’ garage band. They sang a Lady Gaga/Beyonce song with an 80’s tenor rock n roll vocal. Strange.

Hawley magic– a husband and wife magic team that lacks finesse and mystery. I could totally guess how the act was done, and that’s not really a good thing. I’m still waiting to be slack-jawed by a magician this season. They are charming, and I think they could be better…they’ve got a shot.

Lisa Clark Dancers – had some awkward exchange with the judges over their choreography. To be honest, I didn’t mind the choreography or the performance as a whole. I thought it was quirky and fun, and stands apart from the high flying, pop locking hip hop we ALWAYS see. However, Howie is right to say that you could walk into any recital and see something similar… it’s just not incredible enough.

Aurora Light Painters – the group that was supposed to be this year’s Blue Man Group, completely failed to WOW last night. I got it. I just didn’t like it. It was boring! I thought it would be creative and mystifying, instead it was just a cute children’s story told in black light. Too bad.

Danielle Stallings – a young singer, with not a lot of …gravitas. She doesn’t command a stage, and she doesn’t really have the BEST voice we’ve heard on this big stage. It was one of those performances you hear at a church, and later you marvel at the courage of the cute little girl… and you congratulate her parents. I actually switched the channel about halfway through, it was  pretty dull. However, the judges seemed to see something that I didn’t… she may have a shot.

Big Barry – is a big inside joke, and I don’t know if HE knows that. He performs Sinatra, brings out pretty women to pat him on the head,wears white suits and rocks a comb-over. He isn’t singing, he’s wailing. He sounds like a human kazoo. I absolutely, 100% agree with Howard Stern that he is jeopardizing the credibility of the show, and taking up the space of other talented acts who had their heart broken when they didn’t make Top 48. He’s the reason I don’t watch this show until the final rounds.

Donovan & Rebecca  – an acrobatic duo with some seriously amazing bodies. Their talent could just be standing still and flexing and they might just win. Wow. Their act was high-flying and controlled artistic movement – certainly a disciplined talent. I think I’ve seen a lot of THIS particular kind of thing – but Howard is right, if Rebecca is showcased for the strength she has, that would be something different enough to captivate an audience.

(sorry, I missed this act the first time around… thanks to a reader for catching the omission!)

Tom Cotter – has the impossible job of delivering a Stand up act to a theatre of people, ranging in age from 5-95,  in less than 90 seconds. Somehow, he pulled it off, and came across very funny and charming. I think his ‘every-man’ persona works for him (middle america) but you can tell he’s got a raunchy edge, which I love.

Ben Blaque – scares the you-know-what out of me. He’s a daredevil with a bow and arrow, and he’s gonna hurt someone some day, and it will be irreparable. That’s the danger, that’s what makes this act a knock out! He looks like Tom Cruise circa MI2, and he wields one of the most dangerous weapons ever invented. What an act!

Tim Hockenberry – has ‘The Voice’ of the season. He is phenomenal, and he deserves his shot on this big stage to make a splash (and a record deal). He sang Katy Perry, but it actually worked for me. He interpreted it differently than her, and his voice has such a unique quality. He was a stand out of the night for sure…

Who should make it through? Only 4 move on, there may have only been 4 deserving acts last night.
Here are my predictions:

– Tom Cotter

– Turf

– Ben Blaque

– Tim Hockenberry


DWTS Season 14 Week 2: Results

28 03 2012

Ready for the first results show of the DWTS season ?

I’m gonna get right to the punch out – because it’s week one, we’ll save the discussion and general discourse of the eliminated ‘Star’ in later weeks… when it really means something.

In this, the first week of elimination… Martina Navritilova is eliminated from DWTS.

Surprised? Nope.

Sorry to see her go? Not really.

Still scratching my head that Gavin Degraw was in the bottom 2 with her? Uh…yah!

DWTS Elimination Week 3

5 10 2011

The seasons first ‘shocker’ on last night’s DWTS elimination.

It’s week 3, it happens.

The obvious terrible dancers are cut off in teh first two weeks, then week 3 and 4 are traditionally weeks that ‘bubble’ weeks – where people who had ‘potential’ go home.

Some may call last night’s results ‘shocking’… but honestly, look at the situation in full context.

Kristen Cavallari was eliminated last night.

This is a girl who is considered less famous than Rob Kardashian, because she isnt related to the ‘K’ clan. This is also a girl who is notorious for being a ‘witch’ (family blog) on reality TV… like 5 years ago. This is also a girl who is young, blonde, LA-faced and had absolutely NO story to tell when given the chance last night. No story will never will you the mirrorball trophy. There was no connection with the audience, except perhaps the awkward ‘my ex finacee is in the audience tonight to watch me shake my booty to Beyonce’.

Even terrible dancers, like Chaz or Carson, know that this competition isnt all about ‘the talent’. You need either a winning perosnality (which she doesnt have) or a compelling backstory (which she doesnt have).

So, that’s my explanation for last night


DWTS Results: Week 2

28 09 2011

Another results show on DWTS last night.

It’s only week 2, and I’m already sick of them.

You know me by now, I don’t like the fluff, I hate bringing in ‘entertainment’ to fill up an hour show that could just easily fits it’s contents into a half hour show. So, Having Demi Lovato perform and ‘Design a dance’ promos for 45 minutes isnt my cup of tea. However, I do like good suspense, and I felt this week the stage was set for some really good suspense.

For instance, I was pretty sure of the TOP dancers, but not so sure where the bottom dancers would fall. I knew the Model Elisabetta had to be in jeopardy, same with the lacklustre performance of Chaz last night and a smackering of other weaker-thans  like Nancy, Carson, Rob or David.

I was surised that Rob was not in the bottom, I was equally surprised when Chaz was not one of the bottom dwellers.

It came down to David Arquette and Elisabetta Canalis… for a brief second, I thought we were going to witness the first ‘shocker’ of the season.

But alas, the model, Elsabetta felt the red glow of defeat and was eliminated.

This was no surprise to me, I have mentioned on many occassions the latent dislike voters have for ‘models’ on this show. People would rather keep around useless (Rob) or completely unfamous (sorry, JR) than give a model another ‘leg up’ in life. It’s the truth, I’ll swear by it.


AGT Semi Finals: Round 1

24 08 2011

Last night on Americas Got Talent, the ‘best of the best’ from the quarter finals, Youtube and Wildcard round hit the semi final stage.

By now the talentless have been weeded out by democracy…right?


Let’s get to last night’s performances:

Zuma Zuma – one of my favourite acts from the quarter finals, this team of nimble afro-acrobatics is a crowd pleaser. I agree, it was slower than I wouldve liked, but the actual stunts they were performing were….huge.

Beth Ann Robinson – tween-dancer. Normally, I would roll my eyes at the sound of that, but this girl definitely has a mature talent. I don’t think she has a chance of making it any further, but good news for her, only a few short years and she’ll be on SYTYCD.

Russian Bar trio – what a disaster. Oy Vey. This was the high flying, death defying totally unique Bar act that blew us away in the early rounds… tonight, they sang badly and performed mediocre aerials. just…bad.

Kevin Colis – made it through from the Youtube round. I wasnt sure about him in that round, and i’m in the same boat tonight. His voice is, ok. He chooses songs that are upbeat and light which doesnt show off alot of range. I dont think he’ll be back.

Matt Wilhelm – Glow in the dark Trick Cyclist. I get it, it could be good, but I didnt enjoy it. It was cool for like, the first 8 times he spun around. After that, it gets old… and it didnt help that he missed a trick and fell flat on the floor.  Costly error.

Poplyfe – teen singing group. Ok, anyone who knows me knows this… I hate tween/child acts. Particularly with this prize on the line, they don’t excite me, they don’t connect with me, I am never a fan. However, I am loving this little group of art school misfits! They did Come Together, and I dont know WHO arranged it, but it was fantastic!

West Springfield Dance – need to change their name. Sorry. It’s not memorable, and they ARE! This si the creepy dancing zombie act… and they could come up with a ghoulish name to fit, but I never remember them until they perform. A different dance act, very unique… not sure if it’ll fly with everyone voting.

Melissa Villesenor – comedienne. I laughed! She had SPOT on impressions of Wanda Sykes, Sarah Silverman, Christina Aguilera and Shakira. This is a super talented girl… her abilities are insane. Try, just try to imitate a SINGER liek Christina to perfection. Amazing, I hope she continues…

Team iLuminate – human light board. They are definitely an act that could draw a crowd every night! They could pack any theatre in Vegas tomorrow. Last night, they recreated a video game… it was…a geek’s delight. So cool, so entertaining, what a show!

Daniel Joseph Baker – strayed form singing Gaga and took on Adele (no , not Rolling in the Deep…thank goodness). This kid, looked like Liberace, but sings like no other male power singer I’ve heard. Unreal. HE is why other singers like Kevin will not stand a chance…if anyone should make it through for voacls, it’s this guy.

Miami All Stars – the dynamic dacne troupe from Miami. They have so much energy, so much showmanship, so much entertainment value. It’s almost hard to watch, because there are SO many of them, and double the amount of feet moving at the speed of…dance!

Lys Agnes – Opera singer. Took on Evanescence and truly did ‘bring it to life’. Lets be honest, that song is old….but it has the potential to hot a home run if sung by a great vocal performer. Lys Agnes has the chops to slay any song…and she definitely did that last night. What a way to end the show!

AGT Wildcard Round: August 16

17 08 2011

Last night, the chosen Wildcards got their second chance on the AGT stage.

I understand the concept, giving people a second chance. I get it. But it only works for me if the acts chosen to represent themselves again are worthy in the first place. These acts were a repeat of what we’ve seen from them in the past, that wasnt enough to get them any further in the competition.

The Youtube round makes more sense to me, these are people who didnt get the chance to audition and are given a chance, The Wildcards HAD their chance, and unless something major changed in their acts… it’s the same old story on a different night.

At any rate, here’s who we saw last night:

The Kinetic King – he might be my exception. The poor guy had a dynamo act that went very very wrong last time. An epic collapse. He needed redemption and he got it BIG time.

Funny Little People – Thought you’d never see them again? wrong. I hvae mixed opinons about this act… I get it, but I don’t love it.

Avery  and the Calico Hearts – Avery and the Chipmunks performed the same, out of tune, tween-song and dance routine they were ousted for in the first place.

Charles Peachock – Uh oh. He dropped one of his juggling swords. Still one of the more entertaining acts of the night.

Shevonne – judges loved her, but I bet if they watch it back they’ll hear what I heard. Very out of tune.

J CHris Newberg – Comedian, actually pretty funny. Way to take on Piers ‘Roast style’.

Seth Gabel – cocky magician. But really, I’ve seen a million times before… ‘look, theres nothing behind me! Cue fire! Now there’s a car behind me”.

The Fiddleheads – bluegrass group. Judges absolutely ripped them a new one for their cover of Billie Jean. I didnt hate it, but the judges opinion matters to voters.

West Springfield Dance– another dance troupe, but I enjoyed their creative interpretation of Marilyn Mansons Beautiful People… it was like the Monster Mash meets The Joker.

Landon Swank – the’ Other’ magaician. This guy, however, looks more like Houdini than Criss Angel… which is refreshing. He escaped from a small vat of water in front of our eyes.

Yellow Designs Stunt Team – More BMX bikers. Not much more to say, theres room for one of those acts, but not two…and the other act might be slightly better. And the Pirate costumes were confusing.

Summerwind Skippers– nothing has changed. It’s a skipping group – it’s high energy and entertaining for 2 minutes, but drags after the initial awe wears out. They have as good a shot of moving forward as any, particularly with this rounds level of competition.


The only acts I saw IMPROVE from the last we saw them, were the Kinetic King, Landon Swank and perhaps J Chris Newberg. I can predict that The Kinetic King will move forward… but after that, it’s really anyones guess.


SYTYCD Canada: Top 16 Results

27 07 2011

I’ve always said, SYTYCD Canada does Results show right.

Half an hour, no fluff, one group performance, no commercials between results, 6 quick solos and the final elimination. The show is about the contestants, not promoting new albums.

Anyways, last night the Top 16 went to Top 14 as two more dancers were cut fomr the competition.

I will also keep it short and sweet…

Teya and Boneless were eliminated last night.

Surprised? I have to say, I felt like Boneless had proved that he was the kind of charasmastic, versatile and hardworking character that the judges usually keep in MUCH longer into the competition. And he had the only truly SICK solo of the bunch.



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