VMA Awards 2011: Live Blog

Live blogging here from (the couch infront of) the VMA Awards and the ‘Black Carpet’ pre show.

Follow my tweets as the celebs file in and the stage is getting set for the VMAs…

Classy way to start off the show #JerseyShore

You can still be out of tune using autotune #VMAdiscovery

Better get used to the Black Carpet #onceyougoblack

Newsflash: Justin Beiber’s snakes’ name is Johnson. #inappropriate

Nicki Minaj #abitmuch #overkill

Sneek peak: Nicki Minaj and Rihanna video totally phallic.

Adele = Nicki Blonsky… you see it right? #vma

What the heck is katie Holmes doing here? #confused

There is a lot of TRY arriving on the red carpet #LMFAO

I’m always waiting for Britney Spears to break court enforced character

Katie Perry … my eyes. the colours. #crayolaexplosion

——– Show is about to start… ———

I have extreme Gaga anticipation right now….

Gaga does her best impression of De Niro. Performs a self aware monologue… interesting. I think I performed something similar for my Grade 12 Drama class.

She’s gone one step further into actually becoming Elton John or Billy Joel. But say what you want, the woman can sing the stuffing out of her songs.

So if you answered: “a white tee shirt and black slacks” to the question “what will gaga wear?” you win.

That will not be her only outfit tonight, nor will it be the last time she’s on stage… don’t fret.

Kevin Hart. Opener, or host or something. Whatever he is, he’s talking too much… kind of like Gaga’s opening.

Jonah Hill and Nicki Minaj couldnt be a more awkward pair. After losing all that weight, Jonah just looks and talks exactly like his buddy Michael Cera.

Best Pop Video: Britney Spears (anyone else still wondering if her real hair has grown in yet?)

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So I guess Kanye DID get an invite this year. #timehealsallwounds

Kanye may be trying to promote Americana… but he IS wearing a Canadian Tuxedo. #jeanonjean

Sean White and Miley Cyrus. sorry, I couldn’t type for a second there… i’m mesmerized by Miley’s outfit choice. There had to be other options.

Best Rock Video: Foo Fighters (VMA favourites, a safe choice.)

David Brole tries desperately to be poignant. Dude, you’re talking to a crowd of people who care more about where Justin Beibers snake ‘Johnson’ is. #FallingOnDeafEars

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Rebecca Black sighting. #sigh

Will Farrel and Jack Black have a dance off  (which could’ve been funnier…) and announce…

Best Rap Video: Nicki Minaj (exactly what she wanted… that get up was meant to be noticed. Heck everything about her is meant to be noticed.)

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Best Collaboration: Katie Parry Kanye West (still making jokes about ‘The Interruption’)

Rick Ross and Paul Rudd… no THIS is the most confusing pairing of the night. But somehow, they make it work. They announce…

Pitbull featuring NeYo performance. Look at that, who says there isn’t a job for former Deal or No Deal models? They now back up rap stars.

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Katie Perry is back. To announce the performance I’ve been waiting for all night…. Adele!

Adele, recreating her video is the smokey soft light only accompanied by a piano and a mic stand. Singing my favourite sob-song from her album “Someone like You”, so classic, my night is complete. Pass the tissues.

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Jessie J needed some circulation, so she is now standing.

Didn’t we all think Kim K would be on her honeymoon? Might as well invite Paris and the cast of Teen Mom along… #nobigdeal

Best Male Video: Justine Beiber (he was so busy playing with his Johnson he almost missed it. I kid I kid. He is so much more well adjusted than he should be…wow.)

Chris Brown performs. Are we…. fans of his again? Apparently VMAs are making it ok. Anyone else find it ‘appropriate’ that the other former Worst Person Award winner Kanye West is the only one standing for him?

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Lady Gaga is back, and I was wrong. Looks like she’s gonna rock her male identity all night.

She starts the Britney Spears tribute.

The many faces and transformations of BS being played out on stage. Fierce.

Gaga, Spears and Beyonce all on stage at the same time…it IS ladies night.

Beyonce performing, minutes after announcing her pregnancy. Would never have noticed. Seriously. Sequins and a wind machine hide the bump well.

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Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner…kind of a step down for her.

Best New Artist: Tyler the Creator (who? right.)

Zoe Saldana loves her clavical, and she shows it as often as she can.

Performing, Young the Giant. Nope, never heard of them either… but apparently they brought their own fans? Don’t know that I’d be admitting that. However, I’m enjoying the performance. The lead singer looks to be the inspiration for Gag’s Joe, and he has the balls to perform a crowd surfing stunt on live TV.

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Ok, Jersey Shore cast with Cloris Leachman. VMA’s leep one-upping themselves for most mind boggling combinations of presenters. Kill me moment of the night.

Best Female Video: Lady Gaga (maybe she’ll get a kiss from Snooki… she never turns a guy down)

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Russel Brand, one of the most interesting people of the evening, presents the Amy Winehouse Tribute. What a great orator he is, appropriate choice.

Tony Bennett takes the stage. I am… in awe. Legend.  So great to see video footage of Amy at her finest, duetting with a class act.

Performing Valerie, one of my favourites! Bruno Mars with an awesome opening photo montage of the short lived life of Ms. Winehouse. Love that they chose an upbeat song to remember her by… no waterworks. Reminiscent of an Ed Sullivan show act of the 1960’s (look it up… please.)

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Katie Holmes has a purpose. She’s a presenter.

Video of the Year: Katie Perry ( Robbery!)

The square? Bit much.

That’s the end of the night for me… After a little bit more CanCon (Drake) Lil Wayne closes the show.

 

Back to TV

Ok, I apologize for getting slightly sidetracked with TIFF.
This IS a TV blog!

Let me get back to business…because there’s a whole lotta new business goin’ on!

To start with, the VMA’s were held last night (but unless you have MTV…you didnt see it.) Here’s what you missed:

• Justin Bieber looked cute. But will definitely need to change his hair…at SOME point!
• Lady Gaga continues to boycot clothing in it’s tradional function. She wore everything from golden feathers, to raw meat to snake skin, pointy leather brazier and faux hawk… somehow I doubt we have much in common. 
• Taylor Swift milks it…even though the Kanye-cow is completely dry. Some people write songs about embarassing moments… I try to forget about it and move on…to each his own.
• Usher continued to worm his way back into the fame game. A smart decision…he wore what Beiber wore. Foolproof tactic.
• Rihanna and Eminem opened the show… you know, Eminem, that white rapper guy from the year 2000? Right, well, he’s back.
• Big winner: Lady Gaga… good thing she planned lots of outfits for the occasion. Although perosnally, I wouldve swapped out the meat ensemble with something less…edible.

All this week…your favourite TV shows are slowly starting to get back to work. You’ll see Ellen and Oprah back at their normal times with all new shows.
Remember, this is Oprah’s last season premiere..it…will…be…HUGE! Oprah Huge. Like, she has to beat giving new cars to the audience, and she will! Tune in today at 4pm… hugeness (have I said that?)