Idol Winner

It is a ‘beautiful day’…especially if your name is Lee Dewyze (or me) who just WON the title of American Idol (or me…for predicting it!)

But before he got that crown…he, along with the rest of us, had to endure 2 hours (plus about 8 minutes of OT-overtime) of the usual Finale Fluff.

Not only was it the Finale, it was the Simon Cowell Send Off… so you can imagine.

Yep. There were Idols of Yore, Flashbacks, Best Of and Worst Of Moments, Songs and montages…and the most uncomfortable 5 minutes on TV. possibly of all time. I kid you not. If you were watching…you know the trainwreck I’m speaking of…the return of Paula (I’m a comedienne) Abdul.

Paula. Abdul. I dont know where to start or how to explain the disaster that ensued on stage. The woman came out after a year of hiding in a Pink Flower Bouquet/dress, more tanned than The Hoff, and incidentally, delivered her ‘lines’ like the Hoff eating a burger after a binge. yep. I said it. She zinged off some classic one-liners…like “Theres a baby with Simons haircut in the back, and it’s your turn to feed honey…” Question: WHo the *&%#! wrote that for her?

Other WTF moments:

•  Xtina Aguilera’s bedazzled panty hose ensemble (and Charlie Browns little sisters hair…seriously.)
• The return of the forgotten Idols…lipsynching of course, with Alice Cooper?!
• Pants on the Ground…the remix with William Hung. I kid you not.
• Janet Jackson, with Jermaine’s hair, and MJ’s voice…Just sayin.
• Dane Cook…singing…
• Randoms: Michael Mcdonald, Joe Cocker, Chicago and….
• From the near grave…Brett Michaels (he’s so hot right now…it seems.)
• What?! No Betty White?

and if you set your PVR’s you wont know the outcome, so let me tell you…Lee Won, so did Crystal really. Both will be famous and rich and lead better lives than most. congrats.

American Idol: Top 2

You may be thrilled and relieved to know that next season…they are cutting the elimination show to a half hour…instead of trying desperately to fill a full hour.

The first 15 minutes is recap and Ryan acting as Oprah…asking the deep questions like… “how does it feel?” “how has your life changed?” “how proud are your parents”… hard hitting journalism right there.

Then there’s a FORD music video. crucial. earthshattering entertainment. Not at all degrading…

A performance by someone no one has heard of….yet.

3 “at home” video vigniettes…showing how the American Dream is attainable. How many fans each contestant has – most of whom wouldnt have batted an eyelash or spoken a word to them previously. And the home one of the unlucky ones will have to return to after tonight.

Another performance by a 15 year old ‘phenom’ from Canada… Bieber. 45 year old moms and their 12 year old daughters are going crazy in the quiet of their own homes…its the truth.

FINALLY… nope, another recap.

sorry…FINALLY… Casey goes home.

Top two is set: battle of the true titans of the season, it’ll be a goodie! Crystal vs Lee…bring it!

American Idol Tuesday

Who wants to promote an album on Americas biggest television vehicle? Miley Cyrus did last week, and this week…Usher. A very sound choice by their PR team and agents. Smart.

The Cyrus tween was useless, and this week Usher didnt do much more than intimidate the singers with his swagga’, style, shades and forced humility.

But let’s get to the show!

Sioban: I hated it…I cringed even! She’s always riding the line between screechy and brilliant…tonight she leaned too far to the left…the screachy left. I dont think she’s leaving us tonight, but dont be surprised if she’s the one they have to save later on.

Casey: Good thing he’s pretty and plays a sick guitar. Because that’s his MO right now, his voice certainly isnt something to write home about, and his performance is always borderline open-mic-til-last-call.

Big Mike: I love the song he chose, and he is definitly the KING of love songs. Careful Big Mike, you might get stuck in a rut, or stuck in the love-song corner. Again, I dont think he’s going anywhere anytime soon.

Didi: She reminds me of a hybrid of Brooke White and Megan Joy. But both of those singers faded after a strong start. She is following the same path…becoming irrelevant, dull, and middle of the pack every night. I dont know what will save her at this point…but she still has a few weeks to figure it out.

Tim: weak, vanilla, forgettable…surprised?

Andrew: Everyone in America goes “finally!”. Finally this guy became original and interesting again! A great song, he made it cool and contemporary– a song I could hear on the radio.

Katie: always picks the obvious songs, makes the obvious camera eyes, and if we aren’t careful, will go further than Siobhan. Seriously.

Lee: my newest obsession clearly. I love him every week, and this week he finally got the accolades he needs to boost his star-power and position in this competition.

Crystal: I still close my eyes when I listen…is that wrong? I like what I hear (blindly), but I kind of wish she didnt speak as much (because she comes off silly)- I’d rather think of her as a musical genius with Joplin in her blood. Great performance tonight- but please take Simons advice: dont let the hair/makeup/image department suck your blood.

Aaron: trying waaay too hard…leather jacket, designer jeans and an unoriginal song. It’s always an awkward situation when he sings, he is too young and gawky, he has had the most severe make-over, and he gives the camera bedroom eyes. Not my taste.

Predictions for tonight? Fiiiine….

Bottom 3: Tim, Didi, Aaron
Who will go home? Tim (if the earth still orbits the sun…and all is right with the world)

Tune in tonight for the results! 9pm FOX/CTV