Bachelorette Pre-Cap

So it’s another Bachelorette Monday.

Here’s waht we can look forward to tonight:

• The new Bachelor tradition: tightrope walking/bungee jumping date. History dictates that whomever they take this ‘leap’ with makes it all the way…hmmm….there’s something to that tactic then? I’ve been doing it wrong all these years…never dinner and a movie, from now on it will always be a bungee jump first date.
• The men all hate on Canadian Wrestler…because the other Canadian jerk is gone. sigh… a sad reality.
• Replace the lost Canadian content (Craig) with Canadian songbirds The Barenaked Ladies. They love us down there!
• Tears. lots of tears.
• Drama… an overwhelming dose.
• Connection and Chemistry…the two words that could render you unconscious if you were playing a drinking game during this show.

Tune in for the post-show recap.

MTV Movie Awards

So Iguess the MTV Movie Awards were on last night…

I caught it on LATE at like, 11pm – needless to say, I’m a little bit tired, and a LOT disappointed with myself…for losing sleep over said production. It’s sad really. I have apologized to myself profusely all morning.

For those of you who ALSO endured 3 hours of Tom Cruise dancing, Aziz (who?), Vanity shots of MTV losers (think Jersey shore, The Hills, The City etc) and wannabe A Listers (vanessa Hudgeons and her man, Lindsey sober Lohan and the Hilton sisters single and lovin it) – I suggest a nap to make up for it.

If you did NOT see it…Fine, here’s a brief summary of anything worth mentioning:

• The Twilight Kids arent going away…but they did RUN away with every award.
• Kristin Stewart could not be more painful to watch fumble her words into a ‘speech’.
• hint: a thumbs up and a ‘so yah’…isnt a valid ending for a speech. Just sayin.
• Lindsey Lohan was there… no doubt seeing herself 7 years ago and ruing her downward spiral of a ‘life’ since then.
• Robert Pattinson got a haircut. He looks just like that kid from your math class now. With an extra 15 million to spare.
• On another note- he could get action from any girl on the planet…and he is stuck with franKristen… “so, yah!”
• Taylor Lautner isnt allowed to speak. obviously.
• Tom Cruise’s wife looked like a mormon conservative while watching her hubby grind J-Lo on stage.
• J-Lo? Really? she wore a mic but…didnt even eattempt to fake it. No mouth movement whatsoever. but that’s not her money-maker.
• Sandra Bullock is everyone’s favourite person…and by far the best moment of the night. Accepting an award from Betty White, Bradley Cooper and…Scarlett Johanssen. The latter was only there to provide the ‘talked about’ moment of the night, a girl on girl kiss…who knows? Maybe Sandy is exploring other options?
• Good Moment: Amanda Siefreid wins for best WTF?! moment – and her speech was the best “I’m not cool enough to win one of these” – nope you don’t have a mug shot, you’re not cheating with a Chippendale or boozing with Sam Ronson… loser.
• What is the target demographic? Isn’t it usually like 10-14 year olds? If so… there was more Bleeping last night than on  the Comedy Network during a Robin Williams stand-up hour. Classy.
• And holy Cameron Diaz…dirrrty potty mouth! Really classy.
• When did Christina Aguilera make the decision to screw up her baby’s life by imitating sex onstage in her skivvies infront of ogling 13 year olds? That’s gonna be alot of therapy.

So yah, If Twilight was in a category, it won.

I hope you enjoyed that sumary, and say a little prayer for me today- getting through the day with such guilt and self loathing for watching this last night might just be the end of me. If it’s not…the simple fact that I know I will be watching The Bachelorette tonight might put me over the edge…