Let’s Take a Bachelor Break

Probably the only thing that would lure me away from the Olympics is a good Monday Night Bachelor. It’s like a shot of drama for the week…but not like Canada vs USA hockey drama, the kind of drama only the Bachelor can produce (and it IS a product, lets be honest!)

Tonight is the annual (classic…) Women Tell All episode, and if you are new to the show…this is the Eye of the Storm in the Bachelor season. Before Jake chooses his ‘wife’ next week…the whole gang returns for a night of Q & A fun!

But it’s the Bachelor, let’s not pull any punches, we KNOW what we’re in for…expecially since this season has been the most “dramatic bachelor ever”… so here’s what to expect:

• The return of some old favourites. Like my personal favourite delusional with a pretty face: The Whackjob. You know who I’m talking about, the one who wanted Jake’s babies for her grandmothers sake, but said he sucked at kissing so she left voluntarily.
• Also, the return of the most overused phrase of the year (minus pants on the  ground…) The “inappropriate relationship with a staffer” scandal will rear it’s ugly head again. Rozlyn is back and FINALLY the truth will be revealed…right?
• Ali will also be back… to set the record straight (campaign for a spot on the Bachelorette…or Dancing with the Stars) and confront Jake (make him cry and regret his decision).
• Lots of tears…there will be a an absolute deluge of tears tonight. Guaranteed.
• Vienna Bashing. They ALLL hated her, now is their chance to speak their mind on their favourite topic!
• “Unseen Footage” …more shots of girls in bikinis and Vienna saying stupid things.
• Past season contestants (rejects) will return to talk about how the Bachelor has changed their lives (gave them a full 15 minutes of fame, and apparantly made them incapable of moving ON!)

Tune in for all the inside info, tears and the return of some seriously memorable ‘characters’. Tonight, 8pm ABC

Monday TV Night…

Apparantly TODAY (January 18th) is considered the MOST depressing day of the year, (that excludes people who live in LA, Rio, or Denmark) but I dont see why! ALL the shows are back, it’s the (euphoric) start to Award-show season, the Olympics are only 20 days away, and it’s Bachelor-Monday.

Here’s what (keeps me from being depressed) I’m watching tonight:

The Bachelor-
Can anything top the DRAMA from last week’s episode? By now you’ve seen “the picture“…you know, the picture of the “staffer” Rozlyn “entered an inappropriate relationship” with? it’s HERE. How do they ramp up the drama from last week, how about this...I’m hearing rumblings that Tenley will reveal that she is PREGNANT!
So tonight there will be more group dates, and one-on-one dates…lots more champagne, tears, “connection”, pilot euphemisms, hot tubs and “ab” shots of Jake. I can’t see how you could possibly be depressed (unless you are a contestant on this show, namely Rozlyn). Tune in tonight for the (say it with me now…) MOST dramatic season of the Bachelor yet! 8pm ABC/City.

CSI Miami-
It’s Baaaack! After the original CSI raked in the ratings last week, it will be interesting to see how well Horatio and his gang of gorgeously tanned forensics fare in the wake. Tonight’s episode involves a “baffling case” of a man found chopped in half. All in a day’s work. Again, you only have the right to be depressed if you’re THAT guy. Tune in for another new season of “H”-isms and long walks into the Miami sunset. Tonight, 10pm CTV/CBS

Leafs vs Nashville-
sigh… Did anyone MISS the Leafs on saturday? To be honest, It was kind of a relief. I had a very relaxed Saturday night without them…but it’s monday, and I am forced to be optimistic and watch the Leafs take on the surging Predators in Nashville. After a great performance vs the Flyers, Toskala was a let down in Washington…and therfore, Gustavsson is back between the pipes (such a soap opera for the true starting role…), and it looks as though Primeau and Komisarek are pencilled in after a stint on the injury reserve. cross your fingers for a good performance tonight. 8pm, RSO.

whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV night.

Let’s talk about Last night…

Here are the results of viewership/rating for Thursday night:

1. Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
2. Private Practice (ABC)
3. The Mentalist (CBS) 
4. CSI (CBS) 
5. Bones (FOX) 
6. Fringe (FOX) 
7. Community (NBC) 
8. 30 Rock (NBC) 
9. 30 Rock (NBC) 
10. The Mentalist (R) (CBS) 

interesting. I guess the strategic move to make Greys Anatomy a “crossover event” with its (uglier, less cool) sister show worked out nicely for it’s ratings.

I have to admit, I wasnt even tempted to watch the Private Practice part-2 of Greys…I’m sure there was lots of cheating, pregnancy scares, nights of passion regretted in the morning and witty doctor-speak/innuendos.

Nice to see 30 Rock in the top 10- strange that Parks and Rec (in between Community and 30 ROck) did NOT crack the list…and there was a cameo by Amy Poehlers off-screen hubby as a manic MRI technician…hilarious. Try again next week. 

CSI is no surprise, DR Ray is breathing new life into that show—we still love the CSI structure…let’s see how it’s off-shoots do in the coming week with their premiere episodes of the season.

HUGE response from Bachelor fans on the leak of the PHOTO…you know what I’m talking about, the picture of the producer Rozlyn entered an ‘inappropriate relationship’ with, consequently ending her chances with Jake. The trade off…in hindsight…probably not the best decision she’s ever made. Maybe he has a great personality.

Bachelor Scandal…

Wondering what the “staffer” Rozlyn had an “inappropriate relationship with” looks like? Voila…

courtesy of TMZ.com

Bachelor Recap…

I sure hope you didnt choose tonight to skip an episode of the Bachelor…because with all the rumours swirling…the ‘you-know-what’ really hit the fan.

Here’s a rundown of Monday’s drama:

First group date-
girls get to so a photo-shoot with Jake for InStyle magazine…considering 8 out of ten girls on this show are models/cheerleaders or miss america contestants…this was not an overly challenging task. Except for ‘restaurant owner’ Christina (perhaps the only one who hasnt tried out for ANTM before landing this gig).
The group then retires to the pool…which means the bikinis are not far behind. and we get the opportunity to see Jake in his skivvies …thank you ABC.

The Rose: given to the first girl to don her bikini, shake what her mama (plastic surgeon) gave her, and slip Jake the tongue (gag me). Rozlyn. (remember this name…it comes in handy later on in the night…)

One on One date-
Blonde Ali is forced to face her fear of flying with Jake.
Oh, and- “on the wings of love’ was the soundtrack…it was only a matter of time… (and I’ll bet producers are gatehring as many play-on-word songs as they can…”fly me to the moon” “fly like an eagle” “take me to the pilot”…it’s endless) Is it just me, or was this an exact replica of the first date Jake had with Jillian? Live music, dancing…hmmmm.

2nd Group date-
Elizabeth says “no kissing” until she’s the ONLY one Jake kisses…forever after. an interesting tactic…my gut tells me…she may be sorry in hindsight.
Vienna shares her sobstory— she eloped with someone she didnt even know…in retaliation to a breakup. Is that really something you want to share on a first date?

The Rose: goes to the “hard to get”- Elizabeth.

Rose ceremoney/Cocktail party–
And the drama begins: Rozlyn (I told you to remember her…) is escorted away from the party by Chris (the host who finally has a purpose) and the talk went like this–

Chris: “you’ve participated in an inappropriate relationship with one of our staffers” .
Rozlyn: blank, wide eyed stare.
Chris: “he’s been fired as a result”.
Rozlyn: “My personal life isnt anyone’s business” (really? You’re on The Bachelor…cant you see the cameras? It’s a TV show…watched by millions…FYI)

rozlyn gets the axe from chris.

Really Rozlyn? was there someone on staff who was a better catch than Jake? someone more attractive in a bathing suit perhaps? Someone with more potential for future talk show appearances? hope he was worth it honey…
and in her last diva moment of the show— she forces/hires the taxi driver to help her pack and act as her minion. (another budding ‘staffer’ relationship perhaps?)

Chris then pulls aside Jake . He is ‘devastated’. Did he really think she was “wife” material? did she look like a “holly housewife” in her tiny-red-bikini and expensive…err…body-enhancing purchases?

The big announcement is then given to the rest of the ladies— shock and awe! My question is…why are people crying? One less girl to compete with. Not to mention that she was a girl that looked flawless in a  bikini…and was the first to have a serious make out session with ‘your future husband’.

The Rose Ceremony (finally) continues:

– Vienna (or is it Berlin…Dublin…?)
-NY Gia
-perfect ‘Ten’-ley
-Tenessee mom Ella
-Brunette Alicia
-Blonde Cory
-Canadian Jessie
-(Another) blonde Ashleigh
-whack-job michelle
-Catherine…who? (is she new? i dont remember her)

Bitter last moments: the usual…the awkward “how could he do this to ME!?” crying on camera…

My cringe-worthy moment of the night is actually more of a question tonight- Why do these grown women feel the need to scream like 13 year olds watching a Jo-Bros concert every time Jake walks into the room?