2011 Grammy’s Live Blog

The Red Carpet was fairly standard.

Minaj came wearing her leopard carpet, Gaga came in an egg-chariot, Bieber wore white, Kathy Griffin tried too hard, and Ricky Martin wore silver pants many girls only dream of wearing.

Can we please stop showing a spinning 360 view of the celebs…it’s nauseating on many levels. Juliana and Ryan… I muted you a few times to focus on what I could and couldnt see in Rihanna’s dress.

Start the show…

Opening with a tribute (to someone else other than MJ…surprise!) to Aretha Franklin. In her video vignette we see the evolution of bad hair decisions…and a killer voice! LL Cool J wearing shades and a poor boy hat indoors introduces the Opening ACt: Christina, Jennifer, Florence, Yolanda, Martina. Girl power.

Did Florence not get the memo? It’s black dress night. And, is it a coincidence or a desperate act of patriotism that Christina got the sparkly red mic?

*sidenote: Kind of a dull opening, considering last year Gaga and Elton shredded a new one with duelling glam and pianos.

Boring… bring out Bieber.

WAIT! Hold the press…the first gaffe of the night…watch close. Xtina just FELL onstage…!!! Thanks to the magic of PVR, you can re-watch and post on youtube instantly. Rough week for this girl.

With much RESPECT, why is Aretha sitting in her living room in a cocktail/wedding dress? that’s one classy DIVA right there!

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the women help eachother down the stairs to introduce:

Best duo/Group: Train/Soul Sister

Train has a bad case of Pattinson hair. Just sayin.

Ricky martin and his tin man pants introduce: Lady Gaga…

The egg enters.The egg hatches. Gaga is wearing a yolk hat and dances with human yolks. (Someone has been working out…girls got abs!) Highlight of the performance was the Organ solo… although, strange she didn’t end up wearing the organ. Next time. Anyone else thinking that her final outfit looks like…a yolk pimp?

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Blake Shelton (who?) introduces his fiancee…Miranda Lambert. Another dull performance…but in her defence, she is following the Gaga Yolk number. Bad planning… should’ve been Bieber.

Lenny Kravitz has no hair! Wait, when did THAT happen?!
Introducing Muse to the stage…I see a gold sequinned suit jacket, british boys and a double neck guitar…I’m already more entertained. Could’ve done without the mob scene in front of the band…a bit too Greenday circa American Idiot for my liking.

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Ryan didn’t leave… he’s still here, and introduces another ‘power grouping’ : Bruno Mars, BOB, Janelle Monet.
Bruno MArs has high hair, Janelle Monet has higher hair and BOB has a monacle on a dummy string.
My TV set is malfunctioning… the colour just went black and white,  and Bruno Mars just turned into Frankie Valley.  Actually, I’m kind of loving that my grandmother is loving this along with me! I love me a good throwback performance.

Jannelle Monet is winning me over… loving this moment! Mars accompanying on drums, and some serious neo-motown-soul up in here! I’ve already forgotten Lambert’s performance.

Zach Brown band seems out of place, but it all makes sense now:

Female Country Performance: Miranda Lambert

Did she win by default? The only country-gal that wasn’t at Carrie Underwood’s ‘my husband plays in Nashville now’ party?

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Eva Longoria continues to get invites to parties she doesnt belong at…introduces Bieber!

Bieber and Usher do an Obi-Wan Kenobe/Luke Skywalker act.
Cute. Until the ninjas appear. Yes, ninjas.
So, Jaden Smith and Nicki Minaj obviously coordinated outfits before the show. Leopard print is officially is back my friends.

Enter Usher and his strobe light to finish off the performance.

Ok, some poeple take music too literally. This girl is wearing music on her dress…too far.

*a Neil Young sighting! I can’t believe he got past Ryan Seacrest and Ben Mulroney… Rockstar.

Best Rock Album: Muse

There’s a trend emerging: if you perform, you win. I’ll be keeping tabs…

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Donny Wahlberg and Selena Gomez

Best Pop Vocal: Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga and her faux leather modelled bum receive her award. Classy, for her.

David Letterman adds some comic relief… and introduces Bob Dylan, Mumford and Sons, Avett Bros:
My favourite performance of the night… is that weird? Stand up bass, banjo, sick classical guitar and NO pyrotechnics!  Emo-Acoustic-hipster-neo-folk is here ladies and gents… and I’m kinda loving it! Bob Dylan on the other hand, looks closer to death than Willy Nelson. Good thing he was never really known for his ‘pipes’ (no pun intended).

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Lea Michele gets her Grammy moment…sort of. She’ll settle for introducing Lady Antebellum. I know it’s a different ‘Lady’ but this performance could have used some Yolk dancers …no?

Miley Cyrus is far too sparkly, and far too irrelevant… it’s amaing what a year does to a reputation. Last year she sang with Taylor Swift, and her parents were proud of her.

Country Album: Lady Antebellum (they just performed… so the trend is becoming eerily obvious.)

Jamie Foxx still pops up at every Award Show… introduces Cee-Lo, Gwyneth and The Muppets.

Elton John…or Cee-Lo shows up in Mardi Gras with his puppet friends. There are an awful lot of boas, sequins and man-powered entities going on. Then Gwyneth Paltrow shows up in a black unitard a la Olivia Newton John in Grease. GOOP seems to be working (maybe Carrie Fisher picked the wrong diet program?). Wow,  she’s working that piano harder than her hubby.

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*sidenote: I’m still humming that darn Cee-Lo song. Feathers or no feathers…catchy tune.

Neil Patrick Harris always gets an invite…of course. Introducing Katy Perry!

Performing a song no one knows is brave… let’s hope a medley is afoot.
Still waiting.
No one likes home videos Katy.
Finally…Teenage Dream. And apparently Nicole Kidman is KP FAN!

What ever happened to Norah Jones you ask? She got her hair cut , oh and she is singing Jolene with Kidman’s Hubby and John Mayor (who already got her number…)  I like these 3…tour? single? Career revival?

Song of the Year: Need You Now (and yes, they just performed…just sayin’)

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Canadian Alert: skinny Seth Rogen. Burns Miley Cyrus (someone had to!) and introduces Rihanna, Eminem and Dr Dre.
Girl is fierce….kills it! Eminem emerges from the ashes (literally and figuratively) and hasn’t missed a beat. Bleepers finally get to work their buttons. And we were worried about Cee-Lo.

The godfather of Rap… Dr. Dre . Thank goodness Mick Jagger is performing, or these guys would’ve felt old. Overall, one of the better performances of the night… Lambert is still a bottom feeder.

Jewel and John Legend look cute together no?

Best New Artist: Esperanza Spalding

Stun.shock.awe. heartbreak for Bieber fans and Canadian tweens nationwide. Will the sun rise tomorrow? Why should it even bother…

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Matthew Morrison gets the worst job of the evening. Nope, not babysitting the Smith kids…introducing the President of the Academy. *time to grab a late night snack, looks like I’ve got some time.

The illustrious, long-suffering, miracle of perseverance… Mick Jagger. Proof that with the right legs and diet (or medicinal) regimen, you can wear skinny jeans at any age. Bieber, take note. Ever a consummate pro, Mick finally got Cindy Lauper on her feet… and didn’t need yolk dancers to back him up!

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Kris Kristopherson reminds me of Jeff Bridges in Crazy Horse.
Introduces Babs… Barbara Streisand. I’m gonna make a solid wager that she won’t have yolk-dancers…
I was right.

* side-question: who’s the bigger gay-icon of the night…Gaga or Streisand?

Nicky Minaj and Will.i.am don’t look…human. Is that the theme this year…Gaga?

Rap Album: Eminem

Another loss for the Canadian contenders. So we are enduring -24 degree weather, and now this?! cold. very cold.

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P-…P-diddy, Puff, Puff Daddy… that guy introduces: Drake and Rihanna

A bonfire on stage…is that really safe?
the heat will no doubt re-fuel the HOT rumours about this duo. I’d be fine with that. Carrie Underwood left us, we need another Canadian-in-law.

J-lo and her husband haven’t been to one of these parties in years. Anthony takes it upon himself to ‘perform’, since he wasn’t formally invited to do so. Awkward.

Record of the Year: Lady Antebellum
The country-Fergie wins again! C’mon… you see it too don’t you?

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* we’re in the home stretch… hang in there folks. Canada’s got one more shot at glory… on paper.

Jason Segal seems like an odd choice to present Arcade Fire. But then…who would be a more appropriate ‘fit’?

You want drama, interest and creativity? No dancing yolks, but Arcade Fire is a seriously exciting band to watch live. I found the lighting on the seizure inducing side… and the bikes were a bit of an afterthought, but the mega phone, female drummer and broken guitar strings made for a great way to end the show. Thank goodness it wasn’t Lambert.

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Babs and Kris reunite to introduce-

Album of the Year: Arcade Fire
!!!!! Gaga might just grow a tail and curl up in her monster cave.
Merci Merci Arcade Fire for ending on a truly Canadian note. And Merci Merci American Grammy’s for letting us have this win.

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It’s a wrap! Only about 27 minutes overtime. And the night got better as time went on… The opening act was weak, but the closing act was superb.

2010 Grammy Nominations

Is there anything more insipid than a full hour dedicated to announcing names for the Grammys? (Maybe the tree lighting at Rockefeller…but that’s a necessary evil during the holidays)

Last night, the Grammy Nominations were announced through vapid filler (who thought LL Cool J had enough personality to run this thing?)  and b-list celebs in attendance. So, if you were lucky enough to MISS the ceremony, but still want the list… thank me:

Album of the Year:

The Suburbs – Arcade Fire

Recovery – Eminem

Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

The Fame Monster – Lady Gaga

Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

Song of the Year:

“Beg, Steal or Borrom” – Ray LaMontagne

“Forget You” – Cee Lo

“The House That Built Me” – Miranda Lambert

“Love the Way You Lie” – Eminem feat. Rihanna

“Need You Know” – Lady Antebellum

Record of the Year:

“Love the Way You Lie” – Eminem feat. Rihanna

“Nothin’ On You” – Bruno Mars

“Forget You” – Cee Lo

“Empire State of Mind” – Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

“Need You Now” – Lady Antebellum

Best New Artist:

Justin Bieber

Drake

Florence + The Machine

Mumford & Sons

Esperanza Spalding

Best Country Album:

Up On The Ridge – Dierks Bentley

You Get What You Give – Zac Brown Band

The Guitar Song – Jamey Johnson

Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

Revolution – Miranda Lambert

Best Rap Album:

The Adventures Of Bobby Ray – B.o.B

Thank Me Later – Drake

Recovery – Eminem

The Blueprint 3 – Jay-Z

How I Got Over – The Roots

Best Contemporary R&B Album:

Graffiti – Chris Brown

Untitled – R. Kelly

Transition – Ryan Leslie

The ArchAndroid – Janelle Monáe

Raymond V Raymond – Usher

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals:

“Don’t Stop Believin’ (Regionals Version)” – Glee Cast

“Misery” – Maroon 5

“The Only Exception” – Paramore

“Babyfather” – Sade

“Hey, Soul Sister (Live)” – Train

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals:

“Airplanes II” – B.o.B, Eminem & Hayley Williams

“Imagine” – Herbie Hancock, Pink, India.Arie, Seal, Konono No. 1, Jeff Beck & Oumou Sangare

“If It Wasn’t For Bad” – Elton John & Leon Russell

“Telephone” – Lady Gaga & Beyoncé

“California Gurls” – Katy Perry & Snoop Dogg

Best Dance Recording:

“Rocket” – Goldfrapp

“In For The Kill” – La Roux

“Dance In The Dark” – Lady Gaga

“Only Girl (In The World)” – Rihanna

“Dancing On My Own” – Robyn

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals:

“Ready To Start” – Arcade Fire

“I Put A Spell On You” – Jeff Beck & Joss Stone

“Tighten Up” – The Black Keys

“Radioactive” – Kings Of Leon

“Resistance” – Muse

 

There’s a few more obviously… check out http://www.grammys.com for the FULL list (it’s long…just warning you!)

 

Happy Monday

After CBS stole the TV audience last night at The Grammys, ABC can’t wait for…Bachelor Monday to sweep the night! I’ve hardly had time to recooperate from last nights drama (namely, Gaga’s lightning bolt dress), and I now head into the ‘most dramatic’ night of TV!

Here’s what I’m watching tonight:

The Bachelor-
Obviously. But how can Jake ( the producers) trump last week’s thriller, where Jake sent a total of 4 girls home?! How about the promise of a ‘startling revelation’ from one of the girls? Or how about a 2 on 1 date pitting Gia vs Vienna (Satan’s little sister), where one stays and one goes home? Well, both those scenarios happen tonight on an all new, dramatic overload…who says Monday cant be amazing?! Tune in tonight, ABC 8pm.

CSI:Miami-
Those of us living north of the 49th parallel love to live in Miami vicariously through this beautiful CSI team…and really, who wouldnt want to be Horatio for a day. If I could get away with saying HALF the mello-dramatic cliches he does, I’d be a pretty cool cat. At any rate, Delko returns tonight, and the team tries to prove a man on death row innocent before he gets ‘the chair’. Tune in (after the Bachelor, how handy!) CBS/CTV 10pm

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV Night.

Grammys 2010- Live Blog.

Here goes…

• My first question is…why is “the situation” in ANY way related to this event… did he get kicked out a bar/strip club across the road and wander over because he saw J-Lo?
• Opening number: Gaga in a princess Amidala/working girl inspired get up…a  jump that could’ve ended in a J-Lo moment, whew! Instead, thrown into a fiery cauldron… and ends up with a flame of another kind! Elton John! They are like the same person, no?
• Warning to all performers set to follow that duet…Pull up your socks or dont even bother.
• Stephen Colbert…gives a shout out to the money-makers in the crowd. JayZ looks thrilled. Manages to make digs at nearly every person in attendance…atta boy!
• Announces Song of the Year: Beyonce- Beyonce didn’t know she would win…and decided to stay backstage.
• J-Lo emerges to introduce Greenday’s performance (appropriate?) wait..thats not billy joe, and did Greenday add new members? Nevermind, they’re the broadway singers. Everything sounds amazing with a little Broadway infusion! (am i right…GLEE?)
• Kristin Bell and Josh Duhamel wish they had a hit movie to promote..but…they show up anyways, to introduce Country Music Album: Taylor Swift (why does she even act surprised anymore?)
• Beyonce performs, with a back up SWAT team. Sings If I were a Boy…if she were a boy, She’d be Usher…no?
• Seal announces (Canadian content alert!) lifetime achievement award to Leonard Cohen…that was a short homage…on to …Pink.
• Pink decides to go the “i’m a real singer” route…until the robe comes off and shes wearing strategically placed ribbons. She proceeds to join cirque du soleil and dangle/soaking wet over the crowd that spent thousands on expensive clothing. Nice touch.
• More short (slightly insincere) tributes from Keith Urban and Miranda Lambert.
•  And on to Best New Artist: Zach Brown Band. (surprising really)- Just came from cutting and sipping homemade moonshine by the fire.
• Miley Cyrus intro’s BEP:  Leather facial masks (Hannibal lector-esque) everyone waits for the first song to end…and…I Gotta Feelin’– complete with dancing ‘speaker-trons’. Lots of metallic this year…I guess PETA can celebrate a mini-victory for the night.
• Oh good, the Joni are just here to announce Lady Antebellum. (Guess T-Swift being nominated 9 times and performing tonight trumps Joe again…feels good don’t it?)
• Performance a bit of a let down from the seizure- inducing I gotta Feelin… no dancing trons or metal jumpsuits here.
• Best Comedy Album: Colbert Christmas – first one to thank god…sorta. In a Colbert kind of way.
• Norah Jones and Ringo Starr present Record of the year: Kings of Leon (!!! Very good shocker!!!) Fergie is the only one standing…weird connection.
• Robert Downy Jr (coolest guy ever…and he knows it.) introduces Jamie Foxx (thinks he’s the coolest guy ever…and is wrong)…attempts to sing through a T-Pain-synthesizer and make it sound live, and/or authentic. Fail. Enter Slash…seriously.
• Justin Bieber (mini)  and Kesha (drunk)…make an appearance, for appearance sake. Bieber has one line….and screws up.
• Katy Perry and Alyce Cooper (ironically, he looks like her hubby to be…)
• Best Rock Album: Greenday (no surprise…Grammy favourites for sure)
• Zach Brown Band performs- what’s with the sudden Americana…do I have to stand? (I didn’t by the way…sorry). Enter the stereotype of old Southern Bluegrass Country music on the piano. White beard, White Stetson, shades… perhaps a glimpse of the lead singer of ZBB in 50 years. Puts on a guitar CLINIC…live. Take that Jamie Foxx.
• Ryan (I own this town) Seacrest to intro Taylor Swift.
• Singing a ‘new song’ (everyone loves THAT)…hoping for an old favourite…and here she is, Stevie Nixx! And they give the legend the tambourine…?! (Wasn’t that the instrument for the ‘special’ kids in the school band?)
• Lionel Richie introduces the MJ tribute (did you think we’d get through the night without one?)
• 3D performance (I’m supposed to whip out my personal pair of 3D glasses? I lost mine…) instead I am forced to watch a blurry video piece about children walking among the trees, befriending butterflies. Enter Celine Dion looking sparkly. Carrie looking stunning (as usual…) and smokey Robinson looking 25…still. Kind of an awkard performance…Now I’m sorry i didn’t keep my glasses left over from Avatar.
• Enter the Jackson spawn (maybe) and they look…fantastic. wow. Why did he cover them up for so long!?
• Sheryl Crowe introduces Bon Jovi (is it weird that they’ve never played at the Grammys before? Seems odd to me…anyways, Bon Jovi looks better than ever so…I’m not complaining!)Enter the Sugarland Chick…they have very similar physiques (shouldn’t have worn the same pleather pants).
• Placid domingo and Mos Def…together (seriously). I wish Mos would open his mouth, it’s easier to understand Placido.
• Rap Song collaboration: Run this Town – Kanye isn’t there…he is replaces by the cutest kid ever to grace a Grammy stage (Justin Beiber cries in a corner)
• The face of Haiti in Hollywood, Wyclef Jean. Introduces the Haiti benefit song, Andrea Boccelli and Mary J Blige (who has been popping up everywhere lately…new record?) A nice duet of Bridge over Troubled Waters.
• President of the Academy speech…a collective yawn.
• Adam Sandler follows (to add some levity) to introduce Dave Matthews (and his band). – always a class act.
• A GLEE kid! Still not singing…drat. Gives out Best Female Vocal: Beyonce (Halo) – (wow, talk about blowing Taylors night!)
• LL (I’m still) Cool J. Introduces Maxwell (my eyes are starting to get droopy…kinda wish he had dancing stereo-trons to keep me awake.)
• Jeff Bridges (riding the Oscar train) introduces a tribute to Les Paul. Enter Jeff Beck… and a very gold woman.
• Quentin Tarantino (still wearing his 3D glasses…?) delivers the intro for (Canadian shoutout!) Drake, and Eminem, and Lil John!
• The ‘5-second bleepers’ get their exercise on this one.
• Santana and John Legend announce final award (lady gaga is now wearing her lightning bolt ensemble), Album of the Year: Taylor Swift (wow…now Beyonce’s night is ruined!)

Friday TV nuggets…

Time for some news from the TV world…who doesnt love a little gossip on a friday!

Item #1:
That insipid woman who co-hosts beside Tom Bergeron on DWTS is “moving on”. She’s not dead, she’s just “pursuing other opportunities” (Hollywood speak for… hit the road Samantha!) She has reported that she will be leaving the show in favour of more serious reporting duties (at least a hour of work per day) on the (completly reputable and hard-hitting) news show The Insider.

I’ve moved on as well (with an enthusiastic fist pump and a small joyous jig) , now beginning to speculate who will take over that most lucrative post. Could Paula Abdul be free (or able to string together coherent sentences)? I’m sure Ellen wouldnt mind taking over ANOTHER show! Sources are saying that the other Lachey brother could be a candidate (both brothers are looking for work…could get nasty!) Thoughts?

Item #2-
Sources have revealed that Lady Gaga will be the opening act at the Grammys this sunday! Not only does that make me salivate with anticipation (will she wear clothes or machinery?), I have also heard that she will be joined…by the KING of flamboyancy (no, not Lambert or David Bowie…) Elton John! Giving me tingles, I will be cancelling everything I have planned on sunday, and you should too (tune in for my pre-show extravaganza and predictions)!

Item #3-
Not that anything could match item #2, but if you are a Bachelor fan (you dont have to admit it publicly…i understand) you might liketo know that Jason (jerk personified) and Molly (the other woman) are still going strong…and are getting married. Not a shocker, but ABC is jumping on it and making it a 2-hour special. March 17th is the date (also the day Melissa Rycroft mysteriously disappears into her storm cellar to block out the world). Will you watch? Sadly…I probably will. There I said it.

Item #4-
Jay Leno is moving back to the Tonight show (old news) but he wont be moving very far. I am hearing that the SAME set he used for his 17 year run of the Tonight Show, was completly overhauled for his like 17 week run of the Jay Leno Show…and will once AGAIN be entirely redone to tape the Tonight Show round 2! (did you keep up?) Its not overly exciting news…but re-read item#2 for an extra boost!

That should be enough to get you through awkward lulls in meetings, or around the watercooler today- you’re welcome! (also, if you live anywhere close to Brooklin CANADA… see my newest feature in the Crier on local newsstands today!)