(Hometown) Monday

I was thinking of totally skipping Bachelor gossip for today, because people might get the idea that this blog is too Bachelor-heavy. But it’s monday…and looking at the other options for TV tonight— The Bachelor delivers… I’m not ashamed anymore.

Where else can you get this calibre of real-life (fabricated) drama in a 2-hour primetime period?! Seriously.

And you CAN’T miss it tonight ladies and gents (gents…ha, ya right) because it is the episode we’ve all been waiting for: Hometown visits. You know what to expect. Awkward Bachelor moments (is there anything better?!). Like long lulls in dinner-conversation, weird PDA infront of parents/siblings/friends, poignant questioning periods, one-on-one conversations with protective parents…and tears, lots of tears. (because the girls have to show how MUCH they love their families, how important they are to them…how they love their daddys more than anything- such a classic turn on)

We have seen the previews, so..is it any surprise that Vienna has a weird father? Of COURSE Vienna has a creepy/controlling/ sugar-daddy-esque relationship with her father… no shocker. But when will Jake start to CARE that this chick is a nut-job no matter how you slice it?! I’m even hearing rumours that she IS the one he proposes to at the end… shudder. (at that point, i can’t care for his welfare…he did it to himself)

Will the other hometown dates be as entertaining? NYC Gia will have parents with awesome accents. Tenley will have a timid, down to earth southern family. And Jake can just repeat his ‘hometown’ date with Ali from last week. (same date in San Fran….just add parents).

There is also another BIG shocker in the previews (nothing surprises me anymore…) revealing that there will not be a rose cermeony. This is pre-empted with scenes of hugging and crying, which may or may not be the actual chain of events. So…whats the deal? Is it just that they had to make up for the elimination bloodbath a few weeks ago (when Jake sent home 4 girls in one shot)? Or is there really a more dramatic reason?

We shall see! Tune in (with me) tonight, 8pmABC

TV notes…

There are a few rumours flying around that I thought you may be interested in hearing… I am ONLY the messenger, you can do some investigative work if you feel the need!

Rumour #1:
Pamela Anderson is the first one to sign on for the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Not as the co-host, calm down…
This raises SO many questions for me. Like, will she want to wear ALL that clothing? How often do you think there will be an accidental wardrobe malfunction? Does she have to…speak? They will need to hire a dancer over 6 ft tall…otherwise, with her shoes…eye level for a guy is…just awkward.

(confirmed)Rumour #2:
SYTYCD is returning in May…which will usher us into the summer season nicely 🙂

Rumour #3:
Another reason to hate Vienna Bachelor fans. US weekly is reporting (use discretion on this one…) that Vienna’s ex is in Iraq…but while they were still dating, he reveals that she cheated on him, AND took thousands out of his bank account for Breast Implants. She called it a business expense, because at the time…she worked at Hooters. Classy. By the way…she is currently unemployed.

There you have it,  a few good ones to mull over and discuss with your co-workers today- ENJOY!

Bachelor monday recap…

5 girls remain (since Jake axed 4 girls last week, he cut  like…3 episodes which will I’m sure be made up for in dramatic fashion later)

First date: 1 on 1 with Ten-lo (Tenley)
They are super cute together, as they go ‘discovering’ in San Fran’s chinatown (which could be anywhere, in any major city in the world)- question, did they make everyone who saw them that day sign a non-disclosure contract?!
Then they have a romantic dinner in a tower, where they talk marriage. I feel like they really gel, and are very similar. But I cant help but think Ten-lo may still be suffering with some self-esteem issues (who isnt?) stemming from her divorce. She seems to think if she was more ‘holly housewife’ circa 1950…her husband wouldnt have cheated…yikes.

Next date: 2 on 1 with Gia and Vienna (dun, dun, dunnnnn)
They go to a castle…no, winery (?!) where both girls vie for Jake’s attention (awwwwkward). Gia wins round one, getting Jake to herself for a make-out session (little excessive, if a hot tub was involved…it wouldve been on HBO). Vienna tries to up the ante by going to Jake’s room at night (where he is coincidentally, half-naked) He refuses her advances and sends her to her room…anyone else see this relationship as more father-daughter?

Date 3: 1 on 1 with Cory
Who? the other, other blonde one. Jake is wondering why there is no ‘connection’, which results in a very awkward “should i kiss him?” moment in a canoe. Jake still wonders why she doesnt “open up”…then, what was billed as a ‘surprising revelation’ is revealed…Cory…is…a…virgin! (horror of horrors!) Jake says it’s not an issue (we’ll see about that…now the comment about her opening up seems significant…or ironic)

Date 4: 1 on 1 with Ali
Has she mentioned that she’s a) excited! b)in her home town! or c) over the whole Vienna feud ? yes, exhaustingly. So she gets to show Jake around her ‘digs’ – which looked strangely similar to his first date. He gives Ali a chance to give him her opinion of Vienna…and in typical Ali fashion (all talk, no action) she cops out, telling him “it’s all about you” and “you’ll make the right decision”.

Rose ceremony (summarized):

Gia- “do you really like me”
Jake- “you’re gorgeous” — make out session.

Cory- “are you sure it’s ok that I’m a virgin?”
Jake – “yup” — friendly hug (careful!)

Tenley- “are we still good?”
Jake- “don’t worry” — let’s dance

Jake- “look at my sweet bachelor pad”
Vienna- “you better pick me”

Result? Cory goes home. Because she was “slow” and ‘didnt open up fully’ (translation…she’ll never put out.) Boys will be boys…

until next monday… we can spend another week hating Vienna.

Happy Monday

After CBS stole the TV audience last night at The Grammys, ABC can’t wait for…Bachelor Monday to sweep the night! I’ve hardly had time to recooperate from last nights drama (namely, Gaga’s lightning bolt dress), and I now head into the ‘most dramatic’ night of TV!

Here’s what I’m watching tonight:

The Bachelor-
Obviously. But how can Jake ( the producers) trump last week’s thriller, where Jake sent a total of 4 girls home?! How about the promise of a ‘startling revelation’ from one of the girls? Or how about a 2 on 1 date pitting Gia vs Vienna (Satan’s little sister), where one stays and one goes home? Well, both those scenarios happen tonight on an all new, dramatic overload…who says Monday cant be amazing?! Tune in tonight, ABC 8pm.

CSI:Miami-
Those of us living north of the 49th parallel love to live in Miami vicariously through this beautiful CSI team…and really, who wouldnt want to be Horatio for a day. If I could get away with saying HALF the mello-dramatic cliches he does, I’d be a pretty cool cat. At any rate, Delko returns tonight, and the team tries to prove a man on death row innocent before he gets ‘the chair’. Tune in (after the Bachelor, how handy!) CBS/CTV 10pm

Whatever you decide to watch, have a great TV Night.

Bachelor Recap…

The girls go on a ‘road trip’ along the coast, in RV’s…Jake jumps on his Harley and leads the way (anyone else see the similarities between him and Jeff Probst carrying the ‘vote jar’ home?)- you know, if He flew, he’s get there MUCH faster…but flying a plane isnt half as HOT as riding a hog…

Let the dates begin:

one on one- with NY Gia
They play an impromptu “hide and seek”, and “spin the bottle”… sounds more like grade 6 recess.

best response of the night:
Jake: how many kids do you want?
NY Gia: “2 kids…and a pig” .
..I’m starting to like this girl!

group date-
They ride dune buggies and roll around in the sand. (how many times will they use the ‘dirty girls’ innuendo?)
Then there was the awkard one on one moment with one of the blondes…(crickets are never a good sign.)
and Jake has a “father /daughter”-esque talk with Vienna telling her, “…you bring it on yourself”
Girl with NO face time- Jessie (it’s cuz she’s Canadian isnt it?)

Rose goes to: Ten-lo

2 on 1 date– with Tennessee Mom and Kathryn (one of the Blondes).
One of MANY awkward bachelor moments of the night. (Being a third wheel sucks…dont it?)
T. Mom thinks she’s the WHOLE package (with a bonus feature…a son.)
Kathryn gives Jake a tongue lashing (not in a good way…); Jake uses the age-old fall-back response “you are so beautiful”, and she falls for it. sigh. Hug it out.

First dramatic shocker of the night: No one gets a rose! (it goes up in flames, but that wasnt planned I’m sure)

Tennessee Mom’s parting words “I hope he doesnt crash and burn in his decisions the rest of the way ” (translation: I hope he crashes and burns in the fiery pit of hell because of his decision to send me, the complete package, home“)

Pre-ceremony cocktail-
Jessie gets her face time, in order to tell (tattle) Jake more about Vienna.
Vienna gets HER time and talks through her perma-smile, enough to say everyone is a hater.Keep me cuz I’m pretty(and good for TV ratings).

Rose Ceremony:

• Ali
• Corrie (one of the blondes)
  *insert second ‘shocker’ (worst kept secret) of the night- Jake wants to send 2 girls home.
• Vienna (!!!!!!!)

Canadian Jessie, and Blonde Ashleigh go home. That’s a long trip back to Oakville … gotta hurt.
Only 5 girls survive the reckage— this show is FLYING by! (sorry…)

It’s Bachelor Monday!

Yes,  A new week ushers in another dramatic episode of the Bachelor!

They always bill the shows as (say it with me now…) “the most dramatic bachelor ever!”… but I have to say, this season is making good on it’s promise! Every week there is some scandal worth mentioning over the watercooler…and apparantly this week keeps the emotional rollercoaster movin’!

In the promos…it looks like Jake will axe a few EXTRA girls this week! What?!?! Can He DO that? That is the very question he asks (polka-roo host) Chris… “Do I have to give out ALL the roses”. interesting.

It also builds up the feud between Ali (one of the blonde ones) and Vienna (or Berlin…). It looks like Ali is getting into the politics more than the hunky pilot…better be careful girl, it makes you look like a jealous high school cheerleader– not attractive since the Bring it On fad circa 2001.

well, since they got rid of the “inappropriate” model, and the whackjob last week… they are going to have to pull out ALL the  stops tonight. I forsee tears…lots of tears (and flying/pilot/co-pilot euphemisms…not finished with those yet.)

Tune in for a FULL dose of drama, tonight 8pm CITY/ABC